Impossible Trivia Update

Well, as you may have read in the last Impossible Trivia post, Todd did remember that in August 1994 I went to the product placement festival known as Woodstock ‘94.

For actually having enough living brain cells to remember something from our post-secondary education (Ash and I sure as hell don’t have many brain cells left from our Queen’s days), I award you with a copy of a ticket to said event:

Earlier today, James Mack demonstrated extreme prowess in Google and point and click. Okay, some prowess. He is “grudgingly” declining verbal fellatio in a comment where he tries to stroke his own ego. Let’s do a blow by blow (no pun intended) to see if he deserves verbal fellatio:

Question 2: As of my 21st birthday (which I spent drunk at one of the many institutions in Kingston, Ontario), what major professional sports franchise from North America (NHL, MLB, NBA, NFL) has won the most number of currently recognized championships, and how many had they won at that point?

James’ answer:

The Canadiens, with 23 at the time… I’m guessing at your age.

Is he right? NO. The team is the Montreal Canadiens, though they didn’t have precisely 23 at the time. You know, by playing follow the link, you can actually figure out my date of birth. ‘Tis a shame. 0-1.

Question 3: According to one of the industries I worked for in temporary labour staffing this year, what do the letters IQF stand for?

James’ answer?

Individually quick frozen.

Is he right? YES. Though as a trivial point, it can be found with hit #1 on Google.

Question 5: Name five actors whom I have worked with on set.

James’ answer?

Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellan, Jensen Ackles, Tom Welling, Halle Berry.

Is he right? YES. Is he deserving of verbal fellatio? NO. Why? These five actors can all be found at my About Jeff page. More daring answers would be worthy of verbal fellatio. That list would include (but not be limited to) the following:

Anthony Michael Hall
Isla Fisher
Orlando Jones
Chi McBride
Nicholas Campbell
Joe Flanigan
Rachel Luttrell
James Marsters
Erica Durance
Allison Mack
Kristen Kruek
Michael Rosenbaum
Jared Padalecki

But meh.

Question 6: On the season premiere of Kenny vs. Spenny (the best reality televsion show EVER), First One To Laugh Loses, who is the first to laugh: Kenny Hotz, or Spencer Rice, and what is their humiliation.

James’ answer?

Fist to laugh was Kenny Hotz, and he had to eat one of Spenny’s freshly picked “boogers”.

Was he right? YES. Though his mispelling of FIRST disqualifies this response from verbal fellatio.

Question 7: Name all five actors who played Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader in some form in the Star Wars Saga.

James’ answer?

David Prowse, James Earl Jones, Hayden Christensen, Jake Lloyd and Sebastian Shaw.

Was he right? YES. But remember, this was a REALLY EASY^TM question. Sadly again, no verbal fellatio.

Question 8: On last night’s episode of Kenny vs. Spenny, Who do gay guys like more?, who won? Kenny or Spenny? And what was the humiliation?

James’ answer?

Was a draw, Kenny and Spenny each got teabagged

Was he right? YES. Though to be more precise, both Kenny and Spenny lost, as the common gay date bailed and declared no choice between the two. The episode was worth it to see Spenny kiss the guy.

So, James, 5/6 isn’t bad, though the nature of your results do not grant you to even think you deserve verbal fellatio. As such, your reward is this:

Yes, the first image that comes up on Google when you search for “Point and Click”.

That is all.

Define Irony

Garland Greene (Steve Buscemi) had us laugh with this one:

“Define irony - a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.”

I also like this new definition, by me:

“Define irony - a bunch of landlords who are insistent on tenants giving a month’s notice if they wish to move, but in turn do not treat potential tenants with respect who are looking for an apartment a month in advance, the same tenants who are actually respecting the one month’s notice clause.”

Sounds like landlords are running a huge scam to keep from ever paying back security deposits.

That is all.

Impossible Trivia v1.4

Wow. Todd got one right.

4. Recently a friend of mine I had lost touch with broke the long silence by posting a comment to this blog. While at our prolonged stay at a Kingston Institution, we made a trip to New York State in the summer of 1994. Why did we go?

And the answer? To attend Woodstock ‘94.

For answering the question correctly, I’ll post something Todd will appreciate tomorrow.

As for the rest of the gauntlet, here’s what remains unanswered:

1. Name the company who uses the above logo, and also state what they do. Company name MUST be hyperlinked.

2. As of my 21st birthday (which I spent drunk at one of the many institutions in Kingston, Ontario), what major professional sports franchise from North America (NHL, MLB, NBA, NFL) has won the most number of currently recognized championships, and how many had they won at that point?

3. According to one of the industries I worked for in temporary labour staffing this year, what do the letters IQF stand for?

Question 4, as stated, has been answered.

5. Name five actors whom I have worked with on set.

6. On the season premiere of Kenny vs. Spenny (the best reality televsion show EVER), First One To Laugh Loses, who is the first to laugh: Kenny Hotz, or Spencer Rice, and what is their humiliation.

Now, to appease my dear friend Peter, first a hint on question one.

The logo is for a company that is involved with my industry of choice for employment. In fact it even is directly related to my department of choice.

And, since I’ve been so busy as to post this week, I’ll give two REALLY EASY^TM questions.

7. Name all five actors who played Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader in some form in the Star Wars Saga.

8. On last night’s episode of Kenny vs. Spenny, Who do gay guys like more?, who won? Kenny or Spenny? And what was the humiliation?

That is all. For now.

To all those concerned

Bank of Montreal can kiss my ass.

That is all.

Impossible Trivia v1.3

It seems Peter is the one person out there declaring an effort to get through the gauntlet of questions. And since I’m a softie at heart, I’m adding an easy question this week to give anyone making an effort to answer questions a chance to catch up. Hell, I might start giving Faux Golden World^TM Prizes just to add to those who can answer any questions at this point.

The current gauntlet:

1. Name the company who uses the above logo, and also state what they do. Company name MUST be hyperlinked.

2. As of my 21st birthday (which I spent drunk at one of the many institutions in Kingston, Ontario), what major professional sports franchise from North America (NHL, MLB, NBA, NFL) has won the most number of currently recognized championships, and how many had they won at that point?

3. According to one of the industries I worked for in temporary labour staffing this year, what do the letters IQF stand for?

4. Recently a friend of mine I had lost touch with broke the long silence by posting a comment to this blog. While at our prolonged stay at a Kingston Institution, we made a trip to New York State in the summer of 1994. Why did we go?

5. Name five actors whom I have worked with on set.

And now for this week’s question.

6. On the season premiere of Kenny vs. Spenny (the best reality televsion show EVER), First One To Laugh Loses, who is the first to laugh: Kenny Hotz, or Spencer Rice, and what is their humiliation.

As always, guesses will be held in moderation until next Thursday, so others guesses won’t interfere with those who want to play fair. Hi Todd!

That is all.

Just how boring are the Canucks?

Well, according to this article in The Province, our shit upon daily blessed Canucks are “the most boring team in the NHL”.

The Canucks team I knew prior to this season skated up and down the ice, hit hard, and put the puck in the net tonnes of times. Now, we have the neutral zone trap. I was very unaware Vancouver shifted 5000 km east and now occupies an area most recently occupied by East Rutherford, New Jersey. Home of the most boring style of hockey of all times. Devils hockey.

Excuse me while I vomit.

Canucks GM Dave Nonis, instead of listening to the criticisms of Canuck fans, who ultimately pay his wages, slams them for lack of hockey knowledge:

“People who are saying that don’t have any idea of what the trap is or how the game is played… Not being able to put the puck in the net is a lot different from trapping.”

So what do you call a game that had a total of 42 shots? I have a name for it. New Jersey Devils hockey. You know why all Canadians hate the Devils? They are the most BORING team EVER to watch. Hell, growing up, I remember Gretzky’s Oilers averaged 42 shots a game themselves. I know nobody is the 80’s Oiler’s these days, but come on. A team should be able to muster a shot every two minutes, being 30 shots per game. Anything less is just a pathetic perfomance.

Nonis, for insulting all Canuck hockey fans, and showing the world that you are the dumbest man ever when it comes to the great game of hockey, I hereby give you

There is some solace though. Our crappy team is currently tied with the so-called mighty Detroit Red Wings. So there is some justice after all.

That is all.

Feel old and tired?

Ever feel your blog is becoming old and tired? Maybe your readers have turned into yes people, just agreeing with what you say no matter what. Or maybe you just don’t have the spark to find something new or creative.

Well now there’s an easy way spice up a since dull, drab and boring blog. Invite a Conservative to partake in a discussion. So long as you don’t mind a heated discussion, said exchange can breathe new life into a bland, dull blog.

How do you spot the Conservative? There are a few key features that seem to be common to all Conservatives:

1. They think Stephen Harper and George W. Bush are the greatest things since sliced bread.
2. Most (but not all) are devoutly Christian, and would defend their faith with their own life.
3. Most listen to Liberal rock and roll, but don’t understand the Liberal messages in the music.
4. They oppose same sex marriage. Probably most are also homophobic.
5. They oppose a woman’s freedom of choice.
6. They support the death penalty.
7. Most believe that Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden were direct co-conspirators.
8. Some even believe that all Muslims are somehow connected to terrorist organisations.

But the most important identifying factor (though it does not apply to all)

9. Very few sport a sense of humour.

Do note the last point as it is very key to this whole concept. So how does one get a Conservative to their blog? This one is simple, as they always lurk around Liberal minded blogs. Now if we post rather neutral items, they don’t comment. Rather, they wait until we post anything that is in oppostion to their core values, and bring out their teeth. You see, since most lack any real personality, they can’t maintain a neutral based conversation, and as such, can only form cohesive thoughts based on attack and defense. As such, to get them to comment, just write words, phrases, sentences, or full posts in contradiction to the above core values.

Exempli gratia:

George W. Bush is the village idiot.

Christians celebrate a pagan holiday every 25 December.

Same sex public shows of affection should be seen everywhere.

Not all muslims are terrorists.

I could go on, but I think the point is clear. After these delightful little posts, watch the heated comment discussion ensue. And as the trump card, remember point number nine. If the arguments get out of hand, just take the piss out of them. Again. And again. And so forth.

And for those who feel slighted, remember, if you can’t take a joke, don’t be one.

That is all.

You Know You’re From British Columbia When…

You know the provincial flower.

You consider that if it has no snow, it is not a real mountain.

You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Blendz, and Tim Horton’s.

You know how to pronounce Squamish, Osoyoos, Ucluelet, Esquimalt, Sooke & Nanaimo.

You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and Thai food.

In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days.

You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

You know that Dawson Creek is a town, not a TV show.

You can point to at least two ski mountains, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

You notice “the mountain is out” when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 5, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

You switch to your sandals when it gets about 10, but keep the socks on.

You recognize the background shots in your favourite movies & TV shows.

You buy new sunglasses every year, because you can’t find the old ones after such a long time.

You use a down comforter in the summer.

The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder.

The local wine doesn’t taste like malt vinegar.

Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown.

You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.

You’ve been to a deforestation protest.

If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash.

It’s November, it’s raining, but you’re still wearing birkenstocks.

You go broke just paying rent.

You don’t own a heavy winter coat.

You can’t figure out why Manitoba is considered part of Western Canada.

You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from British Columbia.

You know more people with boats than air conditioners.

You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

You are not fazed by Today’s forecast: “showers followed by rain,” and Tomorrow’s forecast: “rain followed by showers.”

You cannot wait for a day with “showers and sunny breaks”.

You often switch from “heat” to “a/c” in your car in the sameday.

“Borrowed” from Mausi and Blogthings.

That is all.

Canucks Win!!!

Hey, it’s not happening much this year, but it’s nice to see Vancouver beat Edmonton 2-1 tonight.

Not that I saw the game. I had to work through it.

That is all.

Rick Mercer’s Photochallenge is back

And this week’s target?

Liberal leadership candidate Joe Volpe, who is under scrutiny for recruiting practices in a vain attempt to win the party’s leadership race. For those of you unfamiliar with the Rick Mercer Report Photochallenge, and those that are follow the link impaired, it’s simple. Rick puts up a photo (like the above), we download it and Photoshop it to taste.

My version?

That is all.