Feel old and tired?
Posted by Jeff on Wednesday, 18 October, 2006
Ever feel your blog is becoming old and tired? Maybe your readers have turned into yes people, just agreeing with what you say no matter what. Or maybe you just don’t have the spark to find something new or creative.
Well now there’s an easy way spice up a since dull, drab and boring blog. Invite a Conservative to partake in a discussion. So long as you don’t mind a heated discussion, said exchange can breathe new life into a bland, dull blog.
How do you spot the Conservative? There are a few key features that seem to be common to all Conservatives:
1. They think Stephen Harper and George W. Bush are the greatest things since sliced bread.
2. Most (but not all) are devoutly Christian, and would defend their faith with their own life.
3. Most listen to Liberal rock and roll, but don’t understand the Liberal messages in the music.
4. They oppose same sex marriage. Probably most are also homophobic.
5. They oppose a woman’s freedom of choice.
6. They support the death penalty.
7. Most believe that Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden were direct co-conspirators.
8. Some even believe that all Muslims are somehow connected to terrorist organisations.
But the most important identifying factor (though it does not apply to all)
9. Very few sport a sense of humour.
Do note the last point as it is very key to this whole concept. So how does one get a Conservative to their blog? This one is simple, as they always lurk around Liberal minded blogs. Now if we post rather neutral items, they don’t comment. Rather, they wait until we post anything that is in oppostion to their core values, and bring out their teeth. You see, since most lack any real personality, they can’t maintain a neutral based conversation, and as such, can only form cohesive thoughts based on attack and defense. As such, to get them to comment, just write words, phrases, sentences, or full posts in contradiction to the above core values.
Exempli gratia:
George W. Bush is the village idiot.
Christians celebrate a pagan holiday every 25 December.
Same sex public shows of affection should be seen everywhere.
Not all muslims are terrorists.
I could go on, but I think the point is clear. After these delightful little posts, watch the heated comment discussion ensue. And as the trump card, remember point number nine. If the arguments get out of hand, just take the piss out of them. Again. And again. And so forth.
And for those who feel slighted, remember, if you can’t take a joke, don’t be one.
That is all.
Wednesday, 18 October, 2006 at 8:11 am
As you know, I am a conservative. Lets put your test to the test…
1. Nope, not me. I like ol’ W, but I have quite a few areas of disagreement with him. Why do I support him then? Becuase it is preferable to hold your nose than grab your ankles. By the way, W has a higher IQ than John Kerry.
2. Yes, and I hope if it ever came down to it, I would have the courage of my convictions and defend my faith with my own life.
3. Used to be me. I quit listening to rock several years ago. Note: This has nothing to do with #2. I simply got bored with it, tired of the liberal message, and found better music.
4. Could care less what two consenting adults to, as long as they don’t want me to pay for it, or try to take away my right to disagree with their behavior.
5. Yes, when it comes to abortion. In my book, innocent life trumps choice.
6. Used to, but not any more. Instead, I prefer life hard labor with no parole.
7. Nah, not me. I don’t believe they were “direct” co-conspirators.
8. Not me either, but I’ve yet to see any “allah bless America” rallies.
9. Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other “Gee, it sure is hot in here.” The other muffin says “HOLY COW!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!”
Wednesday, 18 October, 2006 at 8:37 am
How is it that someone can support the death penalty but be prochoice? We only kill people we think are pretty fucking awful but the ones yet to prove themselves, well, those must live. People suck. in general that is. I love your line, If you can’t take a joke, don’t be one. HA!
Wednesday, 18 October, 2006 at 8:47 am
Unseen One, you rank among the few (IMHO) who don’t fall into the stereotypical definition of Conservative. Well, the few I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. Well okay maintaining some form of banter. Most whom have come my way tend to strike a lot more of these points than you. As a sidenote, I’ve started listening more to classic rock as I maintain rock music (in the artistic sense) died when Britney Spears released her debut album. Now music is nothing more than manufactured sound.
Cole, yes it is quite the conundrum, eh? Being raised having a teacher as a Grandmother who lived ’round the corner, I still maintain that education will solve so many of the problems we have today. Unfortunately, that is sadly being taken away from our children, leading them down criminal paths, and paths of unwanted pregnancy (which raises but only one side of the abortion issue… I am aware, there is more). We as parents (okay I’m not a parent now, I’m thinking a few years forward) must take a much more direct approach raising our children.
Wednesday, 18 October, 2006 at 1:02 pm
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/10/18/no.tag.ap/index.html - School bans “tag.”
Typical Yankee-doodle-dumbasses. Don’t play tag - you might get hurt (read: we might get sued.) But don’t worry, soon you will be 18 and we can send you off to war! On the upside, thirty years from now we’ll be able to take over the US of A with slingshots and TimBits.
- Todd
Thursday, 19 October, 2006 at 12:03 am
Links That Don’t Stink
Funnies/Of Interest Jesus Christ. What next?Support the Venetian BlindFeel old and tired? News/Opinion Amnesty, negotiation, magic bullets, withdrawal, what will it be for Iraq?A Republican Agenda for 110th CongressTen Reasons to NOT vote Republican(fu…
Thursday, 19 October, 2006 at 12:20 pm
I’m sorry were you talking about attracting conservatives or muslims…seems except for one or two of your questions, they could be one in the same..yes I know I’m gonna go to hell for that one..sorry my bad..
Thursday, 19 October, 2006 at 12:32 pm
Erm… it is to have a Conservative party on your blog. Don’t know how you missed that point. Though to be fair it would be interesting to see what a Conservative muslim would be like. Probably have to go to the Middle East to see it, as I can’t imagine any here in North America. And you’re only going to hell if you believe in that sort of thing.
Thursday, 19 October, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Jeff..lol..I know, really don’t believe that sort of thing..however I am sure that someone who does will want me there..by the way conservative/party isn’t that an oxymoron, sorry in a sarcastic mood today..
Thursday, 19 October, 2006 at 11:29 pm
You know madd, I almost would have thought you meant you didn’t believe in a Conservative party. They should be outlawed. Three beers and everything they consumed that day comes back out the wrong oriface.
Friday, 20 October, 2006 at 5:43 am
I am shocked and amazed at the both of you. Today’s Conservative leadership is on par with some of histories notables… such as Mussolini. Stephen Harper should be praised for sticking to his beliefs no matter how stupid or unpopular. That’s *leadershit^Hp.
http://www.straightgoods.ca/ViewFeature6.cfm?REF=609
I, for one, look forward to the day where I’ll be earning 82% more than equally competent women. C’mon Stevie, don’t let me down!
Friday, 20 October, 2006 at 6:48 am
So, if Stephen Harper, Canada’s Conservative leader, is akin to Mussolini, would that make Bush akin to…
Well nevermind.
But what great vaules (which are more popular out west):
1. Making same sex marriage illegal again.
2. Rejecting a national daycare program in lieu of a new per child tax credit program, representing a $18,800 pay cut for single mothers.
3. Rejecting the already agreed to Kyoto protocol, reflecting continued targets until 2012, for a plan that won’t even start enforcing or gradually reducing any emissions until 2020.
4. Selecting a Parliamentary Secretary for the Status of Women who has a penis.
And as a sidenote Todd, I’m sure Mandy is also looking forward to the day you’ll be making 82% more than she could ever hope to.
That is all.
Friday, 20 October, 2006 at 9:19 am
Heh! Yes, sadly I’ll only be entitled to 12% of it. Darn wives!
Saturday, 21 October, 2006 at 9:35 pm
At least you’re entitled to 12% of it. I’ve got to work two jobs to save for a Mac. Grr.
Tuesday, 24 October, 2006 at 12:50 am
So, hey, I’ll be happy as all get-up to jump into your tingly cool pool of non-stereotypical conservatives. I am an environmentalist, tree-hugging, vegetarian Republican. I am a somewhat lapsed Catholic, and am not particularly fond of W. (I actually think he’s a liberal.) I DO support a woman’s right to choose. Her right to choose to keep her legs closed, that is, or use some birth control other than abortion. I oppose the death penalty with every bone in my body. I choose a culture of life. For babies and killers and everyone else. I am a card-carrying member of the ASPCA and WQED and HSUS, but NOT the ACLU. I believe in the right to speak your mind. I believe in the rights of private property owners. I believe success should not be punished. I believe in diversity, as long as that INCLUDES diversity of thought. And I resent that everyone assumes I’m a liberal because I choose to wear fine German footwear (Birkenstocks)and flowy skirts.
I believe that Osama and Saddam were inadverantly on the same page, both for self-indulgent reasons, and I do not believe that all Muslims are terrorists. Just 10% of them. Liberals love statistics. Statistics show that 10% of Muslims espouse the radical version of Islam. Let’s say it’s only 5%, then. Well, I’m HAPPY to defend myself against that 5%.
I believe that human beings are smart enough to make their own decisions, and do not need a giant, ineffective government making decisions for them. I believe life is not fair, and if you don’t like that, you should get a helmet. Level playing fields do not exist.
I believe the tax code is fully and literally unconstitutional.
I also believe that Michael Moore is certifiably insane. For real.
And further, and last, yours is the only liberal blog I’ve vistited for many, many moons. I only came here on accounta The Unseen One, just to see who you were.
And for the record, I listen primarily to Beethoven, I agree that W. is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and I am all over Christmas being priamrily Pagan. But if you do some reading, you’ll find that Easter is the most Pagan of all Christian holidays. Easter=Ostara. And same-sex stuff? I could not care less. Man, I do go on. I have a verbiage problem. Sorry about that. But hey, just as you expected, you got me here commenting, so kudos to you.
Tuesday, 24 October, 2006 at 6:57 am
Wow. Amazing I inspired such a long comment. All over my cute joke. Brilliant.
For my two cents? First, if Dubya is a liberal, then sadly Canada and America have VASTLY differing viewpoints of said political stance. [shudders just at the notion Bush is liberal].
I agree with you that abstainance is the best form of birth control. And unfortunately sex education is thrown into the courts of our schools, and as such, parents take a hands off approach now. Hell, I heard that in small towns in Southwestern Ontario (I used to work out there), students taught birth control, not teachers. Nothing like taking money out of the system. I just protect the right of choice, so long as it is not to be used as a condom for unwanted pregnancy after unwanted pregnancy.
I’m intersted to see what you think we do to punish success.
I don’t think there were two more diametrically opposite leaders in the middle east than bin Laden and Hussein.
I don’t love statistics, as they can be drawn and twisted to show any conclusion. I look at fact and action, not numbers and promises.
Human beings, individually, are smart enough to make their own decisions. Large groups of them are stupid, panic ridden beasts of burden.
A good measure of a society is based on how those with power treat those who do not. Life is not fair. But it does not need to be worsened by the rich running over the backs of the poor with nobody in the poor’s corner. And worsened by having a government that has a history of letting that happen. A government has two choices here. Let the rich fuck the poor, or give some leverage to the poor to allow them to change their situation.
Fair enough, not all conservatives see things the same, and I did NOT get the responses I anticipated. Why? Either the humour beyond some, or they got caught at work again surfing the internet.
That is all.
Tuesday, 24 October, 2006 at 7:08 am
Aren’t Republican hippies Libertarians?!
Tuesday, 24 October, 2006 at 1:01 pm
What I meant about Saddam and Osama is that yes, they are different, indeed, but found a common enemy. And you know what George Orwell said about that.
As a self-employed person, I’ll be happy to educate you on what liberalism does to punish success, or, in fact, try to keep it from ever starting. I pay out taxes every year that would make a grown man cry. 33% of my consulting income and about $11,000 in property taxes. I have no children in the public school system. Where is this money going? And furthermore, if I’m rich enough to pay out this kind of scratch, why am I scrounging up grocery money at this time every year? Our local high school has a beautiful brand new football stadium. I would like every tax-and-spend liberal in a 70-mile radius to bend over so I can put my hard-earned money exactly where it belongs.
As for the rich running all over the poor, I think that’s a whole lotta hooey. My husband manages a store and he’s got all kinds of positions to fill. Good positions earning over $30,00 per year, and he cannot find anyone to show up for work, so he puts in 70 hours some weeks to take up the slack. Yet, there are people whining about no work. Bullshit. There’s plenty for those willing to get off their asses and do it. Your life is your own responsibility. There are few victims.
Further, I made friends this summer with a kid from Poland who just couldn’t stop talking about all the incredible opportunity he found here. He said this exactly, “In Poland, I take 6 week to find any job. Here, I find two in one day. I make so much money in one day and get low price on blue jean.” That sums it all up.
Tuesday, 24 October, 2006 at 5:11 pm
I always thought Libertarian was the politically correct way to say Liberal in the USA. Okay, well at least the “I’m not a relic from the sixties who smokes pot” implication of Liberal.
Wednesday, 25 October, 2006 at 7:12 am
Kristine…
Your last comment got moderated to Spam by the auto Akismet spam protection on WordPress. I tried to get it out, however it didn’t work and got deleted unintentionally. Please re-comment (if you desire) and hopefully it will process properly this time.
For those who gripe about why I moderate, it is spam. Every day I get messages crossed both ways. It’s my only way of controlling out the wares peddlers from my blahg.
That is all.
Friday, 27 October, 2006 at 6:08 am
Let the rich fuck the poor, or give some leverage to the poor to allow them to change their situation.
Unfortunately, the results of programs designed to help the poor by leveling the playing field usually end up punishing those of us who are striving to become rich, while those who the left want to punish are wealthy enough to avoid said punishment. I can’t tell you how many times I was passed over for promotion when I worked for a university in favor of less qualified candidates just because their skin was the “right color” or they had the “right sexual plumbing”. My boss was completely incompetant (Native American woman), and I was constantly having to do half of her job in addition to my own. Then she had the NERVE to give me a crappy review!!! When I left, she ended up having her job eliminated (couldn’t fire her due to her protected status). This was pretty common in the UNC Medical School. I could go on, but you get the picture. I’m all for helping the poor, I just think the current way of doing so is inefficient and a burden on other people who are just as poor, but trying to pull themselves out of the pit of poverty.
I always thought Libertarian was the politically correct way to say Liberal in the USA.
Generally, libertarian means someone is a fiscal conservative and a social liberal… social liberal meaning “don’t tell me what to do in any area of my life”. This includes being pro-abortion, anti-tax, anti-regulation, and anti-welfare. The Yeti on my blog is a good example of a libertarian. One way to think of US Libertarians is to think of a member of the Religious Right (like myself), then strip away all religion and all effects of religion on their viewpoints. There, you will generally have a Libertarian, or at least close to one.
Friday, 27 October, 2006 at 7:18 am
Okay… I’m an idiot. Kristine, your comment actually moderated. I really shouldn’t do this at 6:30 AM without six coffees in my system. Loads of work and trying to find a new home which is pet friendly (Dawn and I have adopted an 8 month old cat) doesn’t leave me a lot of room to see what’s going on here. Grr.
I am familiar with George Orwell. Very. I do remember what he said about war. Something to the effect that it never really ends, the enemy seems to change (Hezbolla, Saddam, Osama, Kim Jong-Il). The idea was to keep in a constant state of war (hmmm… the Bush presidency less 9 months).
I still don’t buy into tax is punishment. Two reasons here. Kristine, you are self employed, so as such, you can deduct a whole lot more than one who is not. Though your rate is 33%, if you do the final math, it probably isn’t quite so high. Secondly, if you make $200,000 for example, you’re still up $123,000 before you pay your bills for the year. That doesn’t strike me as punishment. Whatever you save can be leveraged into some serious investing. What percentage of Americans have that opportunity? And hell, if you have the right financial advisor, some of those investments become business tax dedcutions to boot. So the rich have to put more into the proverbial fire to at least attempt to better society. Waah!
Unseen One, I assume you got my point above. I don’t think very many people at all get rich working for someone else (hell, I’m even beggining to start a film/video transfer service of my own… I’m an editor, so I figure I should know something about that). Affirmative action sucks balls for the majority, but try to imagine living where all the rules you see in your neck of the woods go right out of the window.
Like Vancouver.
Asians here are the largest population group for the lower mainland. And the lot of them are rich. Stinking rich. Average house here (no perks, bells or whistles) goes for about $750,000. At best, unless something seriously changes financially, I’ll be able to own a condo in about 30 years. Average condo runs in the lower mainland for about $350,000. The reason property values are so high? Our wealthy asian friends can outbid anyone, and thusly inflates our property value. And there’s also really no more land short of Aldergrove (about 1 hour out of town) where new houses can be built. Much different situation than you have in the ‘burg me thinks.
BTW, the whole Libertarian comment was a sarcastic joke
Friday, 27 October, 2006 at 8:00 am
Much different situation than you have in the ‘burg me thinks.
Indeed. Our situation here is quite different, one that required me to move away for 10 years before being able to find a job where I could support my family in a manner that I deem acceptable.
What do you think should be done to even things out in your neck ‘o the woods?
Not looking for a fight or anything, I am just seriously interested in hearing your ideas. Given my lack of knowledge about the situation there, I’m not really equipped to comment on its specifics. Also, out of curiosity, did the asians arrive there wealthy or did they make their money after moving there?
Friday, 27 October, 2006 at 8:35 am
Ah! I thought my comment was gone for good, and there was no way I was typing that again. LOL But hey, if I my consulting work brought in $200,000, maybe I wouldn’t be bitching so much. But it doesn’t. Not even close. But I STILL pay 33%. I’d be happy to buy all of that home office furniture and then deduct it, but alas, I spent most of my money on utilities, groceries, and a car. Hmmm…
OY, yeah, Bush has kept us in a constant state of war. So just for you, let’s put Saddam back in power. And while we’re at it, we’ll be happy to make up for all the other warrin’ by giving you back Hitler and Mussolini and Hirihito and what the hell, while we’re at it, let’s bring us back some Napoleon. Let’s bring ‘em all back and apply today’s method of dealing with a madman. Let’s negotiate and try to understand their ways. Yeah, that’ll work. Flimsy past policy in Southeast Asia is the direct cause of Long Duk Dong having nukes today.
Hey, that’s funny. Long Duk Dong. I’m keeping that one for future use. Not that I generally have much of a need to refer to Kim Jong Il, but if I do, he’s now Long Duk Dong.
Friday, 27 October, 2006 at 11:11 pm
Unseen One, I do like the line … being able to find a job where I could support my family in a manner that I deem acceptable. It reminds me of my objective on my resume:
To keep myself, my fiancée, cat, and my two birds in a manner to which they are accustomed.
I had to add that. Just jumped that thought that I find amusing. And if you’re thinking it, yes, I do need a hobby.
For the situation here in Van? Well, to answer the last question first, just to be a pain, yes, they all come here with the big bags filled with money and the cheesey dollar sign in green painted on the front.
But seriously, I’ve deemed a list of action based on what I have come up with to circumvent my personal situation, and what could be done to level the playing field overall.
Personally, I have gotten to a few options (barring getting big Hollywood bucks to direct):
1. Go into business for myself. Now that the film season has slowed down after a brief summer rush (I got 9 days total on set this year), getting a winter job has been a priority. However, there is a problem with this. First, my resume reads like a jack of all trades… no concentrated experience. Hence when I apply for a job that offers a range of wage ($12-$16 per hour, for example), I get offered only the low end, with no budge on salary offers. And with my break even sitting around $15 per hour, I think it becomes evident how futile committing to a single job will become. I’m actually one of few cases to which temping will get me more money. But to have any enjoyment of life, it’s obvious companies aren’t going to make me rich. I’ve got to take charge myself and run my own business.
2. Failing that, getting a government job. It will mean a serious delay on my film career, but it may be a necessary evil for survival. At least the union provides one hell of an extended medical benefit package.
3. Moving away from Vancouver. This almost guarantees quitting on working big budget features, and even makes my own personal film endeavours that much more difficult. This is the last resort.
On the bigger scale, I have no concrete plans, just some random (some humourous) ideas.
1. Fire Dave Nonis. It won’t actually solve anything economically, just make me feel better since the ‘nucks lost Bert and Jovo.
2. More business education. Teaching is in my blood almost as much as film (my Grandmother was a teacher). To revisit point number 1, if we want to make a substantial income, it is very rare working for someone else will help us achieve it. Teaching more young Canadians to be enterprising may help level the playing field.
3. Revamp the minimum wage. When it is $8 per hour, and my very modest budget would allow me to survive at $12-13 per hour (I’m factoring in not having to support Dawn or have pets), it becomes painfully obvious that many people don’t make enough money to live.
4. Disallowing executive bonuses as tax ride offs. Many corporations pay huge bonuses to high end execs to significantly lower their tax bracket, and also to give the impression that “things need to improve.” Disallowing this would free up funds to pay employees a fairer wage.
5. Create more Canadian exports (other than hockey players, maple syrup and comedians).
6. Create incentives for companies whose employees exhibit a higher than average standard of living (I really have no logistics regarding this).
7. Promote Canadian tourism heavier OUTSIDE of our borders.
Again these are just a few ideas. I have no concrete solutions other than what I’ve deduced to do what I need to for survival. And that’s what it’s boiled down to lately.
Kristine, I just pulled an example out of a hat. Though be glad you’re not in Canada. You’d pay more tax.
And I didn’t mean that you should always be at war, but rather an allegory to a point drawn from 1984, being that “the state” is always at war, that it never ends, and the fact that it never ends keeps all else in balance. I was sarcastically drawing the parallel to how things are down south lately.
That is all.