Shit Happens

I really can’t be assed to say much about this. It sucks when people are homeless. It sucks when people are hurt.

But it really sucks when it happens to a building in your apartment complex. Luckily, it wasn’t my building. Though emergency personnel shut off power, the switch back on fried my PC also. As such, I will be online very intermittently until further notice. As it stands, it may take months to buy a new PC.

Down, but not out.

That is all.

Hypotheses from the Reaper

Peter posted a few days back, to which he made comment to the withdrawal of religion from Christmas. And I agree with him. Religion has made a depature in turn of commerce. St. Nicholas, aka Santa Claus, well, the visual representation we all know and love is a registered trademark of the Coca Cola corporation. I don’t think the concept of the holiday was to go to war with the crowds at the malls to get the latest toy the kids want. And it sure as hell wasn’t about making BC Hydro (or whatever power company services you) very rich by creating a blinding array of lights for your home.

Nor will Christians argue it’s about celebrating the birth of their Lord by engaging in a polytheistic, Pagan ritual either. But that’s good fodder for another post.

He also made another point in his post:

You know it really must be hard for those Agnostics and Atheists sometimes. I almost feel sorry for them. The only thing they have to look forward to is the next day, week or year. They believe that they don’t believe in any of that God, Christ or Christmas crap.

As a self serving Agnostic, I would like to add my two cents before I ramble on. Agnostics do not choose to not believe in God or follow any specified religion, we simply couldn’t give a rats ass. It’s the Athiests who actually believe in a Godless universe. And I would like to once again borrow from Rufus [Chris Rock] in Dogma. I think it’s better to have ideas. They are easier to change. People will die over beliefs. The three major western religions are still at total odds over semantics about belief systems that are roughly the same. One God, live peacefully amongst one another. And with all the faiths out there, there’s a chance EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM ARE AT LEAST SOMEWHAT WRONG ABOUT THE NATURE OF EXISTENCE. So let’s all try and co-exist peacefully eh?

Though the most striking part of Peter’s post was the point that I have nothing to look forward too, pertaining (at least my impression) of an afterlife. I think it’s entirely possible. Why, you may ask? The first law of thermodynamics, which states:

In any process, the total energy of the universe remains constant.

Aka, energy cannot be created nor destroyed, it simply changes form. And scientifically speaking, our thoughts and emotions, or soul, would be energy. As such, the energy of who we really are cannot be destroyed. So there is the definite chance of an afterlife. I just don’t think it involves clouds and pearly gates.

But enough rambling. However, related to the whole life and death thing, I bought (for $39.99) and watched the entire series of Dead Like Me. I still to this day can’t understand why such a brilliant, entertaining show didn’t get enough viewers to last more than two seasons. It’s smart, funny, well written, and most importantly, shot in beautiful British Columbia, with gorgeous shots of the north shore mountains backdropping the Vancouver skyline, which doubles as Seattle. Now desensitized to the many ways a person could die, to the point of near laughter at every reap, and playing “spot the Vancouver landmark”, I am lead to the following hypothetical questions:

1. How do you pronounce Muth (as in Ellen Muth, who plays George)?

2. Does Seattle have the same downtown street names as in Vancouver, or were the producers just too lazy to alter the street names (a lot of the post-its bear Vancouver streets)?

3. Is there a Crystal in everyone’s office?

4. How can a Brit from London (Mason) have never flown but end up in Seattle, WA?

5. Are there any Herbig’s out there (and do they use the line “Herbig, as in her big brown eyes)?

Anyhow, that’s about all the thought on my brain this fine holiday.

That is all.

Airing of Grievances

As many of you I’m sure remember, I wrote this post, this time last year, suggesting we celebrate a more secular holiday, Festivus. Okay, maybe some of you. Maybe one or two. I really can’t remember, as switching from Blogger to WordPress, and using Haloscan for comments, I lost a load of comments in the shift. Bollocks.

Anyhow, seeing as I have no Festivus Miracles to report, and the Feats of Strength are too hard to post via text, I shall just reserve this category for the Airing of Grievances.

First, to all the shitty drivers here in the lower mainland. And you know who you are. You suck. Big smelly rocks to boot. I swear, it seems as though you got your driver’s licence from a box of cracker jacks. You all give one thing Toronto actually bests Vancouver at. Traffic conditions. ICBC should make everyone retake their driving tests, and jack up the standards. We could use a good half of the cars off the road.

Second, to “Prime Minister” Stephen Harper. You are two-faced, lying, Conservative scum and you know it. Does any of this sound familiar?

I will lower taxes (by raising taxes for the lowest bracket… nothing like walking on the backs of the poor).

I will not tax income trusts (by taxing income trusts anyway).

I will defend ALL of Canada (by fueling Québec’s fire to separate).

I am Canadian (by trying to change Canada’s Parliamentary system to resemble American Congress. If you don’t like it here, move south).

But it shouldn’t be surprising. The idiot considers himself a part of the Leafs Nation. I can’t say there’s a good mind in that whole lot.

Third, Dubya. But what is there to say that hasn’t been said? You’re an ignoramus, illiterate, a lying piece of pond scum, and you and you’re cabinets private interests profited heavily during your side-war in Iraq. Kim Jong-Il was a bigger threat even in 2003. Somebody should really find all of your skeletons from your presidency already.

Lastly, the right wing mentality that science is wrong. And surprisingly, I’m not on about Christians rejection of the factual evidence in proof of Darwin, instead clinging to mystical belief. Rather, I’m on about Les Sayer. He actually argues that a diet of McDonalds is perfectly healthy, provided that it is accompanied by exercise. You can read about it here. And I actually know people who have read and seen his work who firmly believe McDonalds is healthy. For fuck sakes, when I was five, I knew it was bad for you. It is highly processed and highly filled with sugar to addict you. Why on earth would anyone try to addict you to things that are good for you? And for all you twats who seem to think otherwise, give your fucking head a shake. I’m just waiting for you lot to say smoking is good for you, like it’s candy for your lungs. Gits.

Other than that, happy [belated] Festivus.

That is all.

What a strange year it has been

I was meaning to make this post yesterday, and have been meaning to post more, but sitting here with perennial dial-up, waiting longer than necessary for my high speed modem to arrive, it is very de-motivating in the efforts to actually string a few words, sentences, and paragraphs together. And our power outages haven’t helped any. Not that we had one in our home, just that they make commutes unbearable. For the modem, it turns out Uniserve was less than honest with me about the details of my service, and they want me to fax an unsolicited voided cheque to them before they deliver my modem. Well, I have three words for Uniserve:

FUCK THAT OFF!

As such, my favourite telecom company, Telus, will now be my phone and mobile company, internet, and television provider. Nothing like reducing the number of bills in the house.

Well, anyway, rant over. Well, that rant is over. It seems, according to Time Magazine, I am the 2006 Person of the Year. And so are you. And so is anyone else who can read this it would seem. And Bush once again does not get the nod. Not only can he not use this technology, it is still above his cognitive abilities to read or write.

In Canada, politically anyhow, the Conservatives finally edged the Liberals and formed a minority government. They gave generous tax cuts to the rich, reduced the GST, and strengthened the military. Sadly, they said fuck you to the Kyoto Accord, raised taxes for the lowest income bracket, lied to Canadians and started taxing income trusts, tried and failed to open up the same-sex marriage debate in hopes to recriminalize it, and giving Quebec more fuel to their fire of seperating from Canada, just to name a few anti-Canadian gaffes by the douchebag, Mr. Stephen “I LIKE young boys” Harper. And you know, if I lived in the US and made a similar disparaging remark against the Fuhrer Dubya, I’m sure I’d be arrested by the FBI by now and enduring days, or perhaps months of sheer interrogation. Thankfully, I live in the country that has the most personal freedoms on earth. Canada.

The worst mistake I made this year was working for Best Buy, aka electronics retail hell. While it may be a worthwhile job for a student going through school, to earn a little extra money, it was by absolutely NO means a reasonable way to make a living. It did however, open my eyes to the vicious reality of the business world in the 21^st century. And that reality? Companies nowadays are nothing more than legalized slavery and prostitution rings, that show little to no interest in the welfare of their employees. Ten years ago I’d never thought I’d say this, but I am very grateful for the existance of unions. It is the one body, at least here, that will actually look out for employee interests.

The Canucks? We had a shot of making some playoff noise last season, fucked it up, and now are on the 14 year rebuilding plan. I just hope we can develop before Luongo’s contract is up and he heads elsewhere.

Liverpool? We won the FA cup, and started the new season like always… losing enough matches so we have to fight for third in the Premiership. Again. Grrr.

As for the film world, work was slow this year. Really slow. Though hopefully, this winter and spring, I can work towards a few goals. One, actually direct and shoot SOMETHING, whether it be documentary or a short film. I intend to stay focused on writing, as I have an idea for a television series on the go also. I also intend to finally, FINALLY get my Mac, as so that I can pursue my true non-directorial film pursuit. Editing.

Finally, I would like to thank Dawn, Mom and Dad, Aunt Jan, Jana, Sherry, Dawn’s parents, Claudia, and Angel for their birthday wishes. Though I have to say I hate getting old. I know, I do keep young at heart, but your joints tend to put up a hell of an argument to the thinking young concept.

That is all.

Does anyone have brains anymore?

Well, it certainly doesn’t seem like many do, that’s for sure. Having been driving a 1-ton for the past few weeks, in the city and surrounds of Vancouver, has definitely shifted some of my focus toward the brainless nature of the species known scientifically as “Homo Sapiens”

1. Complete cessation of use of indicators for lane changes and turns. I can understand, if late at night, and you make a sudden turn without indicating, you’re probably not going to create an accident. Though you’ll more than likely actually get a ticket for the infraction. However, when someone changes multiple lanes, in rush hour, to get into the appropriate lane to turn, without indicating for any turn, it can create accidents, flare tempers, and will never result in a fine.

2. People who feel the need to use their mobile phones while operating their motor vehicles. Not only do they not signal, they feel the need to talk to their world constantly on their mobile device. Though this one took the cake. A lane change, while talking on a cell phone, without a hands free, head down, texting another friend on another mobile device.

3. Being cut off from behind. It truly seems some people really don’t care about indicators for another reason. Imagine a new, seperate left turn lane approaching, and you put your indicator on to decide to use it. Then, the person from behind you roars up to the left quicker, and passes you on the left, causing you to brake in order that you can still make your left turn. Luckily in this one, the asshole was just one car in front, we were both going to the same place, and I actually got a parking spot, closer, than the idiot in question.

And for non-driving idiocy:

4. People who feel the need to take an elevator down just one floor. Especially after giving a face because the lift is already quite full, but they squish in anyway, with a sigh like they are the Queen of Shiba and they figure a few people should get out and wait for them.

5. Those four or five people, ususally mid-manager types, in a bank, who stand around, doing NOTHING, while there is a gigantic queue at the bank, and only two tellers. The only person more idiotic is the teller that leaves their station, leaving but one teller left, thus snubbing you, who is next in line. You must then wait for an old lady making about 40 transactions that day.

And even though the above is definite signs intelligence is leaving the once evolved race of homo sapiens, I read this today in the Metro, and it just took the cake:

Mounties found the bodies of a 66-year-old man and his 65-year-old wife in North Burnaby yesterday. They died of carbon monoxide poisoning after using a gasoline-powered generator inside their home.

With no disrespect to those family and friends of the victims, but how fucking stupid can you be? Barring any chemistry study, any biology study, first aid, lifeguarding, and barring ever going to driving school, I still remember this one basic equation.

RUNNING A GASOLINE POWERED ENGINE, WHATEVER SIZE, INDOORS IN AN ENCLOSED SPACE, WILL CREATE FUMES THAT WILL KILL YOU.

How stupid, and how desperate must you have been. Yes, many people in the lower mainland suffered from power outages. But how important is having the juice cut off for a day though, really? Your car still works, so if you don’t get into you’re usual ICBC claim day, you’ll get to work. And home. You can get candles for lighting. Use it as an excuse to have a big, barbecued meal. Spend some free time reading. The only thing that peeves me about no juice is that your frozen foods get a direct toss into the bin. And that still wouldn’t empower me to risk CO poisoning. Mind you, I’d try rigging the electrics up to a generator placed out of doors in an open space, as to not risk CO poisoning.

Just how important is Television and the bloody ‘net anyway?

That is all.

I don’t feel like making a huge post

Unfortunately, some events have an effect on you that sometimes you just can’t comprehend or overcome.

Like this.

My thoughts and prayers are with Habs GM Bob Gainey and his family.

That is all.

An early Christmas present for Harper

Well, well, well. Looks like the personality challenged leader of ours may be in receipt of an early Christmas present. And all at the expense of Conservative ignorance once again. It seemed on the outside that the Conservative’s motion to recognize Québec as a nation within a nation as a contradiction of value yet a strategic political move to enlist the support of the Bloc Québécois to support whatever radical, right wing agenda the morons try to pass through the House of Commons. Though the move seemed cunning and sly, to prevent any Liberal momentum from being fostered, I can point out three serious flaws in Haper’s logic.

First off, the Bloc truly stands about one thing. Seperation and becoming the nation of Québec. Of course Harper’s little modification of the Bloc’s original idea by adding “within Canada” still perceptually is a step closer to the Bloc’s ultimate goal. Strike one.

Secondly, the Bloc’s new allegiance to Harper cannot even withstand what the religious belief of many Bloc MP’s command them. Last week, Harper’s motion to re-open the same-sex marriage debate was shot down, with strong oppostion from the Bloc, mostly Roman Catholic, who politically fully support the notion of same-sex marriage. You can’t pick and choose your freedoms Stephen. Strike two.

Thirdly, Harper looks poised to table an extension to our strongly offensive stance in Afghanistan, which appears to strongly overlook a rebuilding effort. Here’s the lesson Stephen. We don’t want to be American. Our military is a peacekeeping force, not a schoolyard bully like our differently brained neighbours. Also, Québecers really don’t like the idea of fighting for the English. Maybe you Conservative nutjobs might do well by Googling “Je me souviens” and learning a little about Québec. You’ve definitely picked strange bedfellows. And remember:

If the mandate isn’t changed, Duceppe promises to table a vote of no confidence.

Ahh, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… and a Liberal new year.

That is all.

Just when you think you have severe writer’s block

Inspiration hits. Just by merely surfing over to friends blahgs. Or should that be spelled blogs. I prefer the phonetic spelling. Oh wait, I should stop rambling now.

Anyhow, BlogLily put up this post two days back, looking at the biographical analytical styles of Lytton Strachey and Jon Stewart. To delve into the comparison, I admit, I will have to read more Strachey to form a better viewpoint. However, something about the post took this assortment of thoughts I had from being a clever comment to either a gigantic comment which could very well tap a great deal of BlogLily’s bandwidth, or could actually be considered a post of it’s own. That something?

One wonders: if Jon Stewart had different subjects with which to work, might he be able to rise above the eyebrow and really exploit his talent for wit, as Strachey did?

A very fair question. What would Jon Stewart’s wit yield with subjects not stricken with “banal and tragic incompetence?” I’m sure Stewart could focus his attention on figures such as Washington, Lincoln, and FDR, and though we’d have a better perception of that answer, I would also like to point out Stewart’s ratings would probably slide on a tragic level on par with the tragic level of Bush’s incompentence.

Which brings about the same argument that happens in film schools across the planet. Where is the fine line between art and entertainment? We all went through school with a concept of some film we had, to which was our highest level of artistic expression. But the tragedy of the reality and economics of filmmaking soon dawns upon us. Very few people, outside of the arthouse cinema crowd, will actually watch the film. The actual box office take of our film will not be substantial enough to justify it’s high cost of production. As a result, we must discipline ourselves to integrate an entertainment factor to offset production costs.

As such, satirists such as Stewart must maintain focus on benign, current media figures, ripping holes and humour in the results of their sheer incompetence.

Though Stewart’s approach is a smart approach, appealing to intellect as opposed to the lowest common denominator, I still think it’s a sad state of affairs, that we as a people spend more time obsessing in the gossipy, fifteen minutes of fame world, rather than people actually making a difference. To wit, it would be saying people care more about Britney Spears getting knocked up after a drunken one night stand with a homeless bum rather than learning medical science found a cure to AIDS.

Now maybe I’ve lived a sheltered life, but I certainly can’t remember things being this way all of my life. It seems that society has regressed to a stage of near idle brain activity. To this, I still have but one true target. Our stance on education. Every time I bring up education, it seems some conservative pundit complains that those overpriced teachers aren’t doing their jobs. Well I say this. What are you doing to educate your family? To bring the intellectual quotient of you, your family, and your peers up? I know, in my formative years, my grandparents fostered serious skill and passions in science, mathematics, language, photography, and the arts in me. My parents fostered a sense of self worth, a rigid health regimine, athletics, and ethics. All at competencies unmatched in my educational environment (to which I feel are superior to those our children now are being taught within). Parents don’t care, and now children don’t care about those things that matter.

Is it any wonder the state of politics is where it is? Even Britney Spears gave some advice on the relationship between the President and it’s people:

“I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens.”

Wow. Nothing like renouncing the democratic process. The funny thing? Children will listen to Spears far more often than their parents, who more and more appear they couldn’t give a rats ass. What a sad state of affairs things are coming to. It is time for change.

That is all.

I never thought I would see the day

But alas, it is here.

Google has been spamming me. Well, spamming this blog.

Sad, isn’t it?

Tell It To Me Tuesday - The Friday Edition

Yes, I know, I’m slow on these things this week. But hey, I’m on dial up. Just think of the lag time there.

Anyhow, let’s get down to it:

What are you favorite TV game shows of all time and why?

Wow. What a broad category to say the least. Just by following the memory jog link Janet posted to get us all started, Game Shows now span from traditional trivia and skill games to improv shows (Whose Line is it Anyway?) and of course the dreaded reality programming. Of course I dread reality programming for two reasons. First, when I think of reality programs, I think the term better defines documentary filmmaking, not the insta-celebrity trash that pollutes the already dirty network airwaves. Secondly, it rivals the current state of cinema of wading through the muck to find the gems. And believe me, the gems are few and far between.

But, rant over. Hopefully. And seeing as I’ve broken down game shows to trivia, “reality”, and other, I shall give my favourite example of all three sub-categories.

TRIVIA BASED, TRADITIONAL GAME SHOW

This one is quite tough. I can remember my childhood watching Hollywood Squares, Let’s Make a Deal, and even Wheel of Vanna Fortune, though it quickly dawned on me how dim the contestants were who couldn’t figure out such easy answers. As such, I tended to gravitate to such shows as Jeopardy! and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, as the difficulty of the questions proves quite challenging. I also enjoy watching the Quebec version of Lingo, just to make sure my francais stays in tact. However, I have to say my choice for this category goes to…

Definition. As a game, it’s not much different than Hangman. It is not the game, however, that makes me reminisce about the show. It is the shows use of Soul Bossa Nova as it’s theme. The same song used by the Dream Warriors for My Definition of a Boombastic Jazz Style, and used as the theme to the Austin Powers films.

SO-CALLED REALITY PROGRAMMING

Crikey there’s so much tripe in this category. Survivor. Big Brother. The Bachelor/Bachelorette. Pop/Canadian/American Idol. The list keeps growing, and getting dumber, and dumber, and dumber. Luckily, there is one man who has a reality series who won’t settle for such crap. That man? Gordon Ramsay. And the program? Hell’s Kitchen, of course. Simply nothing beats watching Ramsay tear strips off of cocky wannabe’s who think they don’t have anything to learn. And I can see a lot of Gordon in me.

OTHER

Simply put, this is the category for the miscellaneous. The game shows that defy definition. And the only way I could ever categorize Kenny vs. Spenny. These two do not compete for money. Not for the chance to run their own restaurant. But rather, to avoid self-inflicted humiliation. Humiliations such as being covered head-to-toe in cow manure, performing oral sex on a condom-covered cucumber, and kissing the buttocks and testicles of horse statue. And to see Kenny beat Spenny week, after week, after week by any means necessary, it truly brings warmth to my heart. And truth to Kenny’s description of Spenny as “Jar-Jar Binks with down syndrome.”

That is all.