It’s official: the Conservative mentality is officially derived from school playgrounds

But before we get to that, I would like to get a little personal for a moment. Two and a half years ago, I quit smoking. But easy breathing did not soon follow. For the following six months, I still coughed, felt chest tighness, and irritation. Something was up. But, for a completely different reason, Dawn and I packed our things, got in the car and drove 4,500 km west to Beautiful British Columbia. And something happened, actually, just outside of Revelstoke. We made one of the great many touristy stops through the Rockies, and I breathed in the naturally pine scented air. And for the first time since well before starting smoking, I breathed easily. I have never, ever had any issues with my breathing passages since, and enjoy a level of fitness unparalleled in my life.

Now obviously to ignore my smoker’s past to the effect on my lungs would be an act in the order of brain malfunction. I actually think Scott Adams would refer to this as inability to understand that some things have multiple causes. (Editor’s note: a list of brain malfunctions may be found here along with a form to submit to various colleagues/acquaintances/pundits to illustrate their deficiencies in thought). But alas, breathing very fresh air helped my lungs out greatly after quitting.

Now bearing in mind that Vancouver’s air quality index is substantially better than Toronto’s (my former prison), it becomes fairly easy to see alternate motivation toward reducing industrial and automotive pollution. And for the not so quick witted, it’s actually having clean air. All the arguing about whether or not the greenhouse effect is actually occurring or if it’s just a misinterpretation of data, one thing is true. It is far from just CO₂ coming out of those exhaust pipes. CO₂ is odourless. And if you sniff the exhaust from your tailpipe, I’m sure you’ll find quickly that ain’t odourless. So yes, I’m all for keeping air quality cleaner, and for eating naturally grown foods, and living in at least some form of balance.

Which brings us to today. Lately, our incompetent wonderful Conservative government is working on a plan to ‘try’ to meet Kyoto targets and make a real stance on climate change. Of course the key here is the word try. Try a google search. The best real steps outlined was the ban, in Ontario, of sale of incandescent light bulbs by 2012. Kinoflo must be rolling around in giddy fits of joy in response to this. Aside from this one major step in the province that thinks it’s the world, the best I could gauge from a Google search was surtaxes to Automotive and Refrigerator sales. The party’s own website was just as vague as all the press online. Just check this, this, and this. Obviously no real plan, just quoting the dogmatic ‘reduction by this date’ nonsense ALL politicians give us. But this just feels like a knee-jerk reaction to the pressure from the ever green feel of new Liberal leader, Stephane Dion.

You know what kills me about the whole lot of nonsense the Conservatives are still spewing? Read a few of those articles. They don’t intend to do anything until emissions stop rising! Nothing like talking right out of your ass, huh?

To take the cake, ‘Environment Minister’ John Baird took flak from David Suzuki and Al Gore (who was visiting Toronto promoting his Oscar winning film), to which both parties received the same rebuttal. “… This is more action than any government in Canadian history has ever taken.”

Well John, I know you are, but what am I? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Gawd, your rebuttal fits in just nicely with schoolyard nonsensary. How about admitting the truth? You and your government are going to hide behind the ‘not until emissions cease to increase’ clause of your environmental platform. So a childish argument that ‘we did it first’ is their whole justification for a bogus emissions reduction plan? Let’s face it, the Conservatives and their ‘government’ is a ship that is sinking fast, grasping at straws to try to stay afloat. I am thankful that enough of the Canadian electorate is smart enough to see through the smokescreen, a diametric opposite to our neighbours to the south.

Somebody call an election already. Okay, enough opposition MP’s vote against the tripe Harper is trying to pass in the House of Commons.

That is all.

New Employee Safety Codes

Coming soon from your local WCB. As a great many business operations in the Lower Mainland are unionized, companies have been forced to take measures in order to cut costs and increase their overall profit margin alongside increasing volume. So, instead of minimizing simple internal costs, to which companies spend money without thought, sometimes costing an additional several employee salaries per annum, this is the concept corporate Vancouver is currently test-marketing in China:

Talks are currently in progress with the WCB in order to re-invent safe working practices, as both corporate executives and WCB officials claim that quality of human life just really isn’t that important anymore. WCB when questioned, however, could not explain their mammoth profit margin this quarter. Odd.

Hat tip: Todd.

That is all.

The best idea I’ve heard in ages

It figures I read this on an amusing button:

“Would somebody please give Bush a blowjob so we can impeach him?”

Nothing like the truth.

That is all.

In regards to the Virginia Tech Massacre

First of all, before I go on my tangent, I would like to express my condolences to all of those affected (family, friends, acquaintances, and locals) by the recent tragedy of the shootings this past Monday at Virginia Tech. It is a rather sad state of affairs where environments dedicated to the betterment of humanity and society are not safe havens for learning, but are becoming much more dangerous grounds. Nobody should ever have to experience what happened last Monday, and it is happening with more frequency.

Now, as to the remainder of this post, I shall be dedicating it to my analysis as to the ROOT cause of why what happened has happened. In the wake of this tragedy, via surfing numerous sites, various “issues” surrounding the cause of this has been openly discussed. But, rest assured, I will not be discussing racial profiling nor gun control here. Besides, for those of us who watched Bowling for Columbine, and actually got the point, we know that the real issues go much deeper. There are issues at work that have a very strong and perverse affect on the human condition.

Rather, I would like to also point two other, well recognizable massacres first.

École Polytechnique massacre.
Columbine High School massacre.

What do they all have in common? They were shootings, all perpetrated by students. They were all done during classes. We could go on and on with similarities, contrasts and differences. But how about the obvious?

THEY ALL HAPPENED AT SCHOOLS. It seems a little obvious, but if you’re somewhere in my age range (mid-thirties) or older, growing up, this was completely unheard of. Our worst vice was underage drinking. And our class in high school was so organized that the Friday party had the designated drivers assigned one day in advance, and we had a frakking rotation to boot. But gun violence. Never. EVER.

I’d been thinking of words to say all week about this. I, for a change, didn’t want to be overtly political about it. Just down to what I think is the truth. Then it hit me. School. Quality of education. The impact of thought on the choices we do make. How much are kids being taught these days? How much does the budget cuts really affect the quality of education. And most importantly, maybe we need to have budget cuts to men playing girls armoured rugby in order to reinforce the humanities and arts.

In the not too distant past, I had the opportunity to return to school to get yet more paper to say I know far too much for my own good. What I really learned (asides from how to write, light, shoot, and cut) was quite frightening. Education, in my localized experience, has gone from teaching kids to think for themselves to a moneymaking enterprise in conspiracy with the insurance industry. Okay, maybe I’m a little over the top, but still…

WHAT, IF ANYTHING, ARE WE TEACHING OUR KIDS THESE DAYS?

Is the pen not mightier than the sword? If the actions of the US government are an indictment of this axiom, then yes, it is still true. They let random acts of violence go unpunished, but interrogate a grade school girl for posting sentiments wishing Dubya was dead on her MySpace. Yes, words are more powerful than bullets.

I think we need to be teaching our own children this, and maybe we can once again have constructive solution to our overtly human problems. But it starts with us. Teach your kids the pen is mightier than the sword.

This is an opinion, and not the ultimate answer. All I hope to achieve is to cut through the political crap and get to the nuts of the real problem. I’m sure we owe it to the victims, and their families and friends to put a stop to this ever disturbing trend.

That is all.

One Hundred Thirty One Minutes

And fifty three seconds. That’s how long it has been since the Vancouver Canucks have scored a goal. And from what I see, the rumours are true. Forechecking is a very lost art in this NEW NHL.

We need Matt Cooke back. I mean, come on. Losing to Dallas? The city, according to conspiracy theorists, is the home to Osama bin Laden, and his twin brother Sergei Zubov (hat tip to Captain Scotty).

This is madness. Score Canucks score!

That is all.

Please give generously

Here in Vancouver, we, the hockey fan are in dire peril. Though our beloved Vancouver Canucks are leading the Dallas Stars 3 games to 1, there is a serious drought. Goal scoring. And though I’d like to whinge about the twins not scoring (I have them in my pool), this is a circumstance more dire.

Jeff Cowan has not scored a goal at home since 25 March 2007.

But why am I worried about Jeff Cowan? Surely a fourth line forward not scoring readily, during defensive playoff hockey is not a major flag of concern. Short of one other major withdrawal. There has also not been a bra thrown on the ice since that same date.

You see, back on 6 March, 2007, after Jeff scored 2 goals against Tampa Bay here in GM Place, a bra

(yes, a bra) was thrown on the ice in celebration. And finally, we had a true celebration for our team. Some other “team” has this insipid habit of throwing squid on the ice, and well frankly, they needed to be one upped. Hence the bra. And the added side bonus is simple. Some dirty old men standing around the ladies who sacrifice their bra for the good of the team get a cheap look.

But alas, slumps are hard to break. So we here at A Golden World have an action plan. Please send you bra’s via post to Jeff c/o the Vancouver Canucks, and hopefully the taste of frilly lace will re-spark his goal scoring touch, thusly giving grotty old men a good peep show, and the city of Vancouver something they can really get behind.

If you don’t have the address, you can post it as follows:

Jeff Cowan
c/o The Vancouver Canucks
800 Griffiths Way
Vancouver, B.C.
(Canada)
V6B 6G1

That is all.

A movie made after my own heart

Manchester United
Boston Red Sox
Toronto Maple Leafs

What do these three things bear in common? Well, simply put, they are the three sport franchises I hate more than any. And when I say hate, I really mean HATE. And I’m not an overtly violent person. But these three teams, more than any other force, bring out the worst in my character. I want to see them lose. BADLY.

But which is the worst of all? Man U is the scum of the earth. The Red Sox are bitter division rivals (yup, I’m a Yankee fan ). But alas, when the question is put forth, it is the Make Me Laughs that burn the fires of hate in my soul more than the lot.

But why would a perennial cellar dwelling team be my all time hatred? Should I not feel pity for such incompetence? I mean, put it this way. Man U wins so much it’s sickening, but yet I don’t feel gutted inside if they win the Premiership or the FA. I thought if the Red Sox were ever to win the World Series again it would devastate me, but alas, I dealt with it. But I know, with every ounce of my soul, that if the Leafs ever did, it would be the seventh sign for me. And you know what, it isn’t just about my Montreal roots, either.

I hate Toronto. The city. The state of mind. Hell, the Jays winning the World Series made me vomit (and funnily enough, not from the high volume of CH₃CH₂OH I consumed either). I truly hate the city. It is the anti-me. To wit:

Toronto is the home to the CN Tower. The world’s largest phallus. And every time I think of that erection, I’m reminded of Psychology 101 at Queen’s University. Men who play with long, hard things consistently are usually trying to compensate for their “lack of manhood”, of which all males from Toronto are seriously lacking.

Many anglophonic refugees from Quebec fled to Toronto in the height of the tyranny of one Rene Levesque. Bill 101 drove anglos from Montreal faster than Ex-Lax removes stool from the colon. But said ex-patriots of Quebec soon lost their love for the Habs, and in turn, joined the Borg and became Make Me Laugh fans. And I thought certain elements of Christianity were incredibly disturbing.

Torontonians make themselves to be top calibre hockey fans, when in fact they are just Make Me Laugh fans. And poor ones at that. They deliberately cheer teams that play against any Canadian team once they are ousted from the playoffs, but more disturbing, during the lockout, while the rest of the country showed unprecidented support for the CHL, Leaf fans whinged, moaned, whined, complained, and generally threw temper tantrums like a four year old because ‘hockey had gone’. What a bunch of gits.

Occasionally, my friends from the east inquire as to if I’d move back, to which I utter a resounding HELL FUCKING NO! I hate Toronto. Well, now it seems, I’m not the only one vocal about it. There is a documentary now outlining the hatred for all things T Dot. And, not at all surprising, the city that hates Toronto the most is our dear, wonderful Vancouver. There is no wonder why I feel like this is really my home. And the sweet irony of this all is the film is making it’s premier at the Hot Docs film festival, in Toronto.

I love it when karma is a bitch.

That is all.

Two Fools. One Adventure. No Idea.

For those of you who paid attention to this post, Heath Buck, who I met near ten years back and have kept in touch with to this day, and Doug Campbell, whom I have never met, have embarked on a charitable journey across the globe.

Wearing tuxedos. Yes, tuxedos. Words just do not do this endeavour justice. As such, check out their video donning the tuxedos.

Find out more about these two at www.tuxedotravels.com

That is all.

Bridal Veil Falls Part II - Digitally Remastered.

First Kudos to Todd, who accurately guessed that this picture was digital:

Now, on to round two of the photographs:

The wide shot I took digitally:

This one I took in the flowing stream at the foot of the falls. I would have taken a film version too, but i soaked my left foot, and with the wobbling around, decided against it:

And the main reason I bring the digital video camera. The zoom lens:

And even closer:

And just to be a shit… something I shot on 35mm (though I think it looks right cool):

Maybe a few more tomorrow or the next day.

That is all.

Bridal Veil Falls Part I

Nothing like a random holiday to motivate you to drive well over an hour. And dragging Dawn part way up a mountain, giving her altitude sickness. And considering we weren’t going to Quesnel for a few reasons, somehow we decided to go see Bridal Veil Falls, which we hadn’t seen since our trek out to British Columbia nearly two years ago (wow has it been so long?)

As such, it gives me an opportunity to point my camera and click the button. A few of the rarities that actually came out:

The view of Bridal Veil Falls from Highway #1:

And here is the standard shot from the ’suggested’ viewing area:

However, since I don’t have a zoom lens for my Nikon EM, and that I just don’t plain like ’suggested’ photography points, as pictures tend to get very touristy, I just felt the need to get closer:

Now, since I want to get some writing done, I shall post another batch tomorrow. But just to keep you all guessing (yup, all five of you), try to guess which of these five shots was done digitally.

That is all.