Even more gratuitous filler

Paul sent me this. Ahh, it’s brilliant.

I only wonder if someone will code video like that so we can play Space Invaders in stop motion.

That is all.

Filler, oh glorious filler

For the handful of regular readers of this tripe blahg, I think it’s becoming safe to say I haven’t had the creative or ranting urge in the last few days. So, to tide everyone over, I shall leave you with my all time favourite Muppets sketch:

More original posts soon to follow. I hope.

That is all.

FORE!

Detroit last night earned their summer green fees.

Dominik Hasek shows his appreciation after losing to the Ducks on ice, for the Anaheim faithful (yup, all 300 of them):

Now Bert can come to Vancouver to Golf with Naslund and Morrison. Ah well.

That is all.

Bowling For A Golden World

Or: How I learned to stop thinking and start worrying.

You know, there’s been a lot of difference of opinion here on this blahg lately. Most specifically, this post. I make mention that I disagree with the idea that “responsible” adults should be allowed to carry concealed handguns on school campuses, and it becomes a pro-gun issue.

The whole thing boils back down to a heated exchange of words I had with this fellow, many moons ago, over the film Bowling for Columbine. He too felt the movie was nothing more than an anti-gun rally by NRA lifetime member Michael Moore. Rather, when one actually watches the film (as opposed to listening to the sentiment of pro-gun people who feel slighted), the best point the film makes is actually what is said by Marilyn Manson.

Michael Moore: Do you know that on the day of the Columbine massacre, the US dropped more bombs on Kosovo than any other day?

Marilyn Manson: I do know that, and I think that’s really ironic, that nobody said ‘well maybe the President had an influence on this violent behavior’ Because that’s not the way the media wants to take it and spin it, and turn it into fear, because then you’re watching television, you’re watching the news, you’re being pumped full of fear, there’s floods, there’s AIDS, there’s murder, cut to commercial, buy the Acura, buy the Colgate, if you have bad breath they’re not going to talk to you, if you have pimples, the girl’s not going to fuck you, and it’s just this campaign of fear, and consumption, and that’s what I think it’s all based on, the whole idea of ‘keep everyone afraid, and they’ll consume.’

Much in the same way we look at shootings and say it revolves around gun control, how industrial emissions are only about greenhouse gases, how Iraq was about nukes, people have really lost focus of what is really going on. Myself, I find myself transported back 20 years into the past. The days of school dances, awkwardness around the opposite sex, reading loads of ‘classic’ literature in English class and studying the symbolism of a cornfield in Saskatchewan, overgrown young men playing rugby with the crutch of armour and deceptively trying to pass it off as football, hockey debates at lunch, getting your first car, and on, and on, and on. Yes, high school was such a wonderful, awkward, scary time.

But in thinking back, we never had gun problems. None in school. We were presented, however, with the sheer horror of what happened at École Polytechnique de Montréal. And in the wake of the shootings, I think if someone suggested having concealed weapons in schools as a discourse, we would ALL have thought that said individual needed to seriously re-think the idea. But yet, in today’s world, it is now an idea that is warranting serious discussion.

Why? I’m sure one who supports the idea of allowing concealed arms in schools will argue “it’s a different world”. And they are bang on the money. Having the opportunity to go back to school after a hiatus, I learned something rather disturbing. The quality of education has slid drastically. I went to film school with kids who could barely spell (save for spell check), who wrote essays by cut and paste from online articles, who did not know what a bibliography was, did not know what the word ibid meant, how to do footnotes (or endnotes, as I hated re-formatting when I made changes in my essays), how to structure an essay, how to divide or multiply by 100 without the aid of a calculator, understand basic additive and subtractive colour theory (bearing in mind they were in a visual program like film). When I was growing up, these kids wouldn’t have even been close to getting their high school diploma. We suffer from a high level of apathy in the way we (as a whole) approach the education of our own children.

So the idea is to put such neutral-geared minds behind the trigger of weapons to keep the peace? If this is the ultimate solution down south, I do have a suggestion to keep shootings to a minimum. Borrowed from Chris Rock, we should make each bullet cost $5,000. Why? Because people will have to think before they pull the trigger. Is this shot worth $5,000? Because frankly, unless money isn’t involved these days, most brains are now in permanent neutral gear.

Luckily, I live north of 49. That is all.

Which Super Villain are you?

Found over at b13:

Your results:

You are Magneto

Magneto 88% Apocalypse 87% Dr. Doom 85% Lex Luthor 75% Venom 68% The Joker 67% Juggernaut 66% Mr. Freeze 65% Riddler 64% Mystique 62% Dark Phoenix 61% Poison Ivy 57% Green Goblin 54% Two-Face 54% Catwoman 52% Kingpin 51%

You fear the persecution of those that are different or underprivileged so much that you are willing to fight and hurt others for your cause.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Why I’m glad that I live north of 49

Reason #1: Canadians don’t believe the solution to the epidemic of campus shootings is found through legalizing concealed weapons on campus.

People in South Carolina seem to have a different opinion on the matter. Frightening. South Carolina is suddenly becoming an example of Hanlon’s Razor:

“Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”

That is all. Oh Canada!

One for the comic book fans

Just as Mac clearly outweighs PC, I found this lovely parody of the Mac vs. PC ads… comic book style:

Something tells me the humour is rather esoteric.

That is all.

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

Ahh, you know you’ve gotta like the expression fuck me running. Special thanks to Dawn for introducing me to that one. Though I am truly scared how aerobic that may be.

It does remind me of my favourite expression from university days. And if you can’t read the title of this post, for whatever reason, it is fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Ahh, one of the best dark comedies I have ever seen, Heathers, brings out a classic line a select few of us took to deeper levels.

Here it is somewhat in context:

That is all.

A buck thirty? Fuck me running.

And here’s me thinking the price I saw when I posted this

was bad. Check this out:

Image blasted from The Province. Hey, I have a non-profit blog. Go ahead and sue me for a percentage of $0.00.

Absolutely fucking ridiculous. Even in the short span Dawn and I have been here in Vancouver (coming up on two years now), prices have gone from 90 cents per litre, now to $1.30 per litre. Two years and a 40 cent (or about 44%) increase in the rate. Funny how wages haven’t seen the same increase.

As much as it’s a crapshoot as to whether or not it works, I’m taking part in the “Don’t Buy Gas on May 15 protest.” Even if I was brimming rich, I would definitely take part. I have much better things to spend my money on than making oil companies richer. And yes Todd, I have read this post absolutely verifying every point you’ll robotically droll out claiming there’s nothing we can do. But really, how much effort would it take a person to have a gas-out? We’d just have to have the sense to fill up Monday at the latest, as so we don’t need to fill up Tuesday. Aside from that, it requires no effort on my part whatsoever. Nor to any other participant. If it fails, no skin off my back. At least we tried something instead of giving up entirely and subjugating ourselves to the ongoing greed of Bush’s oil buddies.

I still hold that we should maintain consistent pressure on the retailers by refusing to buy anything but the petrol we require for our vehicles. Maybe disturbing the side profits of cigarette/coffee/snack/lottery sales may upset the long term financial model. Maybe.

But, until Wednesday, it’s a simple thing to ask. Everybody fill up before Tuesday. I’m tired of seeing the above, especially when Vancouverites are paying as much as 27 cents more than can be justified (source: The Province).

That is all.

Euphomelogy Episode I

It’s rather annoying at times, working on the road as I do. I get great thoughts for posts, for stories, for scripts, but alas, while driving, very little means to convey them at a later moment. I really think it’s about time I get myself at least a dictaphone, if not a PDA (most PDA’s I’ve seen actually have a dictaphone to boot). Nonetheless, I get loads of ideas for blog posts, but yet very little hit cyberspace. And sharing a PC doesn’t help matters much either. But alas, the latter will be handled shortly, as my Mac will soon arrive (this week hopefully).

As such, the topics that come to mind as I try to formulate a blog post seem to be more work related. I feel like my humour will start to meld with Scott Adams shortly (I’m already leafing through Dilbert books lately as well). But as for this week, and for every week I do a work related (and hopefully somewhat humourous) post, which will be Euphemology.

Now fair enough, as far as I can surmise, Euphomelogy does not appear to be an Oxford standardised word. But bringing in an association with euphemism, I can only hope some of you may draw the comparative.

As to this week, I am but inspired by a friend who had given notice, having found a job he had been hoping for and spent the better part of a year applying for. This, sadly, is not his story. Rather, how this point was illustrated, in fact, begins my point. You see, when the subject was broached to the staff, it was handled politely, proactively, honestly, and direct to the point. Something that you would expect of any change of staff, especially one that thrives on a team environment. This news, though, allowed me to ponder back to other places of employment, and how they handled the subject.

When employees quit of their own free will, for whatever variety of reasons, management handles it openly. “[Insert name] will be leaving us as of [this date], and we wish he/she the best.” Where I see the surprise is when the employee leaves against his or her own will. Bluntly, when their employment is suddenly terminated, or they are fired. Management rarely, if ever, actually says the former employee was in fact fired.

They do, however, find many other ways to ‘cute up’ the termination. Downsized was a popular term from the 90’s. I also like “difference of values”, “mutual agreement”, “no longer a fit for us or them”, “promoted to customer”, and my favourite, “accepted an early retirement package” (at the tender age of 29). Nothing like an over abundance of politically correct terminology to declare why people don’t work there anymore.

Is it just me, or do we as soldiers, so to speak, in the employment world have to accept that people get fired from time to time at your place of work? By comparison, imagine you’re a soldier in the Army (or Navy or whichever branch) fighting in a war. One day, your CO comes to you to inform you you’re fellow soldier and close friend “involuntarily ceased respiratory function due to high velocity impact with a small, lead based projectile which was propelled by an explosive mechanism”. Wouldn’t you lose a lot of faith in your CO because he didn’t want to broach the subject of death with you? Not like death happens in a war or anything.

Sadly though, it’s the second conclusion I draw to which I find more disturbing. That the employer wants to “disguise” the actual act of firing, thus keeping their politically friendly image. To this course, I have to say to all the employers out there this simple question. Who the fuck do you think you’re fooling? I, as an employee, have to sign some bloody form saying that in order to quit, I must give at least two weeks in writing. I can’t just up and go one day as a one-off. All this cloak and dagger bullshit is a blatantly obvious neon sign advertising to everyone, that dude or dude-ette got fired, along with further advertising for the ATM, cigarettes, liquor, lottery tickets and the ATM. If they really quit, they’d be upfront. By simple deductive technique, it’s obvious the termination of employment was not voluntary from the employee perspective.

I think the sadder truth is that more and more people buy into this corporate dogmatic load of bollocks every year.

Doesn’t anyone think anymore?

That is all.