The Condom Song

Make sure the boss isn’t in earshot. Nothing else needs to be said.

Hat tip to Charis.

That is all.

Get rid of that Yankee scrip

For years, visiting our differently brained neighbours to the south, I always remember how Yanks cringed about Canadian currency. Border town stores never wanted to accept it. Vending machines were actually programmed to respond to the slight differences between Canadian and American coins as to stop tourists (such as myself) trying to use a Canadian coin or two to make up the difference to buy a Coke.

Now, the shoe is on the other foot. American currency is weaker than Canadian for the first time in around thirty years. The irony of it all is that in my industry of choice (read NOT the day job) thrives on a weak Canadian dollar. To cut to the chase, American productions get more bang for the buck on the exchange. Well, no longer. Not surprising that it’s been right slow for us film techies this year.

On top of my obvious career concerns (though I harbour desires to foster more indigenous productions to eliminate our dependency on Hollywood’s northern productions … and who needs yet ANOTHER remake of King Kong anyway?), I do find these interesting points to be raised:

Will the NHLPA re-negotiate so that players can now be payed in stronger, Canadian currency? And will more Canadian born players be lured back to Canadian clubs? And most importantly, will the USA relinquish their enslavement of les Nordiques and the Jets?

When will Chapters start honouring the US listed prices as they soon realize that all their customers are making a run for the border to buy the same products at a great discount?

When will the Peso overtake the US dollar in terms of exchange strength?

Will the big three move permanently to Windsor while suppliers like Magna head south?

But most importantly… and scary because he’s dumb enough…

When will Dubya consider this strength a Canadian act of terrorism against the American way of life?

But until them, put all American currency where it belongs. In the bin. No better than cheap rubbish.

That is all.

Imitation. Is it flattery, is it jealousy, or is it something else?

The old addage. Imitation. The highest form of flattery. In my younger years, I remember famed Canuck Rich Little do his many celebrity imperosnations. All in tact, never done to insult. A class act through and through. However, as time has progressed, imitation became less and less flattering. It seems that malice is acceptable for a cheap laugh. Thus is the way of this brave, new world I suppose. Could it get any worse?

It has. It seems rules that prevent direct plagiarism seem to exist on the backburner now (unless I missed something and intellectual property is a thought of the past). Yes, it seems gits are out there, registering dot coms, and passing other’s posts off as there own. Id est, this site. For regular readers of my tripe, you can begin to see my concern.

And I thought my job was bad. Do people have no respect anymore? I’m sure Todd will give me an essay justifying the degradation of society so long as commerce and the auto industry moves forward. But, to the free thinking artist, how far will this theft go?

That is all.

Filler until April

Yeah, read on the Battlestar Wikipedia that Season 4 isn’t coming out until April ‘08. Gits. Razor hopefully will be kick-ass. The DVD copy I get better hold out until then. But until November…

What New Battlestar Galactica character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Lt. Kara Thrace (Starbuck) You are the best damn Viper pilot in the fleet, so everyone else can just frack off. They need you, not the other way around. Maybe if you keep pushing people away they won’t get close, because that is scary and it hurts. Oh yes, and anyone who has a problem with you being a woman needs to just get over it. Lt. Kara Thrace (Starbuck) 94% CPO Galen Tyrol 69% Dr Gaius Baltar 69% Capt. Lee Adama (Apollo) 56% Tom Zarek 50% President Laura Roslin 44% Number 6 44% Col. Saul Tigh 38% Commander William Adama 38% Lt. Sharon Valerii (Boomer) 13%

Surprise, surprise, surprise. Hopefully some real content tomorrow.

So say we all.

Liquid sunshine and other observations…

Summer is officially absent now. How can we tell here in Vancouver? Simple. It’s raining. And it will be until April (or so). I do find it amusing how the locals do whine and complain about the near zero temperatures, and the two or three days of snowfall we get. Frankly, those whimps should spend a few winters in North Battleford, Saskatchewan. I’d think they’d be less likely to complain.

With the onset of a brief yet moist autumn, we have the return of the blessed game, hockey. And the ‘Nucks are following last season’s fine early form, giving Bobby Lu absolutely NO support. It seems the skaters are like the knights of the round table from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The puck comes near and the skaters all yell, in unison, ‘run away!’ I’m sure this will bring mirth to Peter as later this week we head to Detroit. Well, if last year is a model, the skaters should find their bollocks by mid-December.

The dollar is still more valuable than our southern neighbour’s counterpart, which leads to a few conclusions. First, filming in Vancouver is still not sufficient enough for me to give up the day job. Second, and more amusing in a karmic sense, maybe all the Canadian players will move back up north as their salaries will be worth more in Canadian funds (and it would be nice for Stanley to make it’s home in a Canadian city again). But most importantly… Canadian merchants can now complain that they don’t want to take the worthless American coins.

Still seething for Battlestar Galactica: Razor. Funny that it has both an air date and a DVD release date, though no release date has been announced for the DVD release for season 3. Maybe Eick and Moore don’t want fans to catch onto the clues that show Roslin, and not Starbuck, is the last remaining unknown Cylon.

Been in Surrey nearly a year now. Aside from the sheer rage of shopping at the StupidStore, I haven’t become a criminal, crack and meth addicted junkie. Maybe the rumours are a little askew…

But alas, we don’t really have that much rain in the lower mainland. It’s just the liquid form of sunshine…

That is all.

I know what I want for my birthday

Not that it’s coming up or anything…

But still, this works

As does this

I haven’t seen Battlestar Lego yet. I also hear nothin’ but the rain. Better go grab my gun and bring in the cat. Boom, boom, boom.

That is all.

Nearly daily trivia v1.something or other

This falls in the holy shit faze… well, for Canuck fans and the like. For brain dead Leaf fans, solving this will be one boring Google search.

As such…

Name all Vancouver Canucks jerseys that Trevor Linden has NOT worn on ice for gameplay. Dawn, you’re excluded from hint giving or answer telling.

That is all.

A pound of flesh

You know, with the lot of bollocks I’ve been involved with trying to convince the mentally challenged that smoking is bad, along with waiting for Mr. Harper to drop the ball on his political career, I’ve lost touch with that ’special’ neighbour to the south. And, by channel surfing past one of America’s propaganda networks, I saw America’s ditz, Ann Coulter, defending a point (this was in fact archive footage for another debate about her stance), which fit something to the following:

Jews needed to convert to Christians in order to be “perfected.”

What the fuck? Of course, with this being Coulter, you have to weigh in the standard question as to whether or not she is doing this for effect, or is it in fact the voice of the extreme right, most of whom know to keep their mouth shut in order to effect their less than equitable agenda? A reasonable transcript may be found here.

I came up with a number of ideas to approach this personally. Re-iterate the complete Pagan nature of Christianity. The Shylock references (as per the title). Even attacking Ann. But none felt convincing to me. What I’d rather do, is in response to Ann’s belief that Christianity is the fast track to heaven, make this one point. On the fast track to heaven, Christians, whose central message is love, understanding, and respect, have gone about it in the last two millenia, using the following methods:

Holy Crusades
The Spanish Inquisition
Persectution of Scientists
Rejection of Darwinism
Forced conversion of others at the point of a sword
Northern Ireland
The slaughter of Roman Pagan Priests (to whom a great deal of a Christian’s faith is based)
Witch hunts

And I don’t think I need to really bring up what happened in the last 100 years in the name of their lord. Fast track to heaven my ass.

That is all.

Elevator conversation for strangers

For most people at work (well, those who work at a fixed location), the water cooler is the stereotypical location to waste time and gossip about whatever hot topic seems to be on the minds of the chatty employees. But for people who work in a mobile capacity, where is our water cooler? And who can we chat idly with?

On the elevator with strangers.

Yes, it’s amazing what conversations you walk into out of context. Grandoise epic tales of marijuana highs. Catty office politics. The latest ‘insider’ information about, well, whatever. And of course, my favourite. How a man cheated on his wife, in the bed they share, with her friend, WHILE HIS WIFE WAS HOME. And she walked in on the two of them. I can’t comment on the validity of the tale, but no shit, two people walked in the elevator with me and another rider and didn’t let up the conversation. Fuck me. My co-rider looked at me with a face in utter disbelief of what she was hearing. Too fucking funny.

That is all.

Can somebody please tell me how to keep a cat still…

They are so bloody awkward to take a simple photgraph of. Luckily, our little missy, who bears delusions of being a dog, stood still long enough for this pic so I could finish out my roll of film:

That is all.