Recreationism

It is funny what kind of thoughts creep into the mind the day after the day after. After a bender on Friday (I really have not much to do on Fridays as we have to wait to 2009 to find out who the twelfth toaster is), and severe hangover recovery on Saturday, today my brain almost reached solid state once again. And our neighbours in our building took us to the ‘Wack to go to a water park. And with temperatures up in the thirties, it was a good idea. Though in saying, the heat did not help much with the intellectual recuperation for day 2.

Now before I babble onward, I do have to say our neighbours also have recently purchased an RV and decided to take us down in it. And the AC was far from effective on this hot day. So, needless to say, the induced ADD was at a high. And when we filled up, the word just rang in my mind. Recreation (which was on the sign indicating recreational vehicles should be only at the outermost pumps). Recreation. Re-Creation. Re-Create. I started two mental tangents on the roots of the word. It’s root is in latin, recreare, to create again, to renew.

Renewal makes some sense for the use of the word. Going out and partaking in activity of a totally personal and enjoyable nature, getting away from the grind does renew the spirit of the individual, renews the vim and vigor for the daily battle that always ensues. To create again, however, seems to be lacking upon plain observation for me whilst hurtling oneself down a water slide.

Re-Creation. Hmmm. My first tangent had the ongoing and utterly retarded argument of Darwinism vs. Creationism rolling around in my brain. Can’t the Christians accept that maybe the work of fiction isn’t entirely accurate? It is quite possible that God, or the Gods planted the seeds of life and what we know now of life is evolved from said seeds. If Chaos Theory and Fractal analysis has taught us something, patterns in nature continue to repeat itself throughout the melodies and harmonies that exist in our worlds. We make meals from ’scratch’, that is a dish evolves from the correct cooking of it’s core ingredients. A team is stronger than the sum of it’s individual parts. Building materials are developed from core minerals and resources and utilized to be stronger. We very well could all have evolved from single celled organisms planted here millions of years ago.

But still, back to the application to recreational activity. Maybe what omnipotent beings may have done to start the dance of life, one truth remains. We die, and we also reproduce (though not necessarily in that order). Maybe an old inference of recreation was directly attributed to having children. And to further extrapolate, perhaps that the term of renewal is not only in reproducing new life to replace the old, but the renewal of the youthful spirit in the adults by the way they are touched by their children. Maybe. Though I don’t have children, so I really don’t know yet. Time will tell for me on that one.

The latter, re-create, has me thinking of this one Adama-esque line. “You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you’ve created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can’t hide from the things that you’ve done anymore.” Now aside from the obvious flaw that a man from a polytheistic culture is referring to omnipotence as a unified being, maybe the term is a satirical remark to man’s desire to be God-like and immortal. As much as it’s denied, it seems to be an unconsciously practiced behaviour in the western world. Tragic fiction is strife with anti-heroes who flirt with deification, only to fall in the end. Maybe bringing the family to a ‘recreation spot’ is a form of recreating a short-term Eden in which the Alpha Male can fantasize about being the almighty, just one day before returning to the grind and responding ‘how high’ all week.

Still, I’m just trying to get my head around this. Why the fuck couldn’t Canada Day land on Monday this year so I don’t have to go back to frakking work for one day? Bah!

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

After 141 years, can we find what defines us?

Setting the way back machine for, oh, say four years ago in film school, I seem to remember the purpose of our Canadian film history course. We were told the main scope was to piss us off, depress us, or simply put, really hit home how shit domestic funded production is here. The discussion continued on to really rifle in a point. We as Canadians define ourselves in the negative, that is, what we are NOT. We are NOT American.

Thank the Gods for that simple mercy.

In a completely related subject, Ipsos Reid did a survey as to what Canadians think defines Canada. I wonder if anyone who commissioned the study actually watched The Greatest Canadian?

Some of the results seemed a little slanted. The first category on the hopper was most defining Canadian, with the following results:

1. Pierre Trudeau
2. Wayne Gretzky
3. Terry Fox
4. Céline Dion
5. John A. Macdonald
6. David Suzuki
7. Tommy Douglas
8. Stephen Harper
9. Lester Pearson
10. Maurice Richard

Most names fit for me, but what the fuck? Céline Dion? I mean, fuck me, there are dozens of musicians that fit the bill a whole lot better than that annoying diva. Shania Twain. Geddy Lee. Burton Cummings. Gordon Downie. Even Bryan Adams. But NOT Céline, please fuck Gods no!

Monsieur Harper also irritates the fuck outta me. Fair enough, he’s our PM at the moment, and as such sits in Canadian’s minds, but as he personification of Canada? He’s got a face like a smacked ass, and a personality that can be rivaled by river rock or pond scum. Can’t we as Canadians come up with something with zip? No actors hit the list. What about Mike Myers, Jim Carey, Dan Aykroyd, John Candy, Catherine O’Hara, Rick Mercer, Gordon Pinsent, Lorne Greene, Mary Walsh (or even better Marg Delahuntey), Gabrielle Miller, Brent Butt, Leslie Neilson, Raymond Burr, Mary Pickford, and so on, and so on… come on, anyone but Harper. Cripes, he wants to alter Canadian Parliament as so it is a carbon copy of the American system. Twat.

Defining place in Canada was also covered. Click the above link to get the list. My two cents are simple. How the fuck is Toronto more Canadian than Vancouver or Montreal?

The last I have any kind of contrast with is the defining Canadian accomplishment. The following definitely have merit:

1. Canadarm
2. Peacekeeping
3. Universal health care
4. Fredrick Banting - Insulin
5. Alexander Graham Bell - Telephone
6. Diversity, Multiculturalism
7. Canadian Constitution, Charter of Rights and Freedoms
8. Canadian national railway/railroad
9. Freedom
10. Avro Arrow project

Definitely all good accomplishments. I would like to submit a few others, simply for consideration (my beef is more about the limiting of the top ten items in the news story).

1972 Summit Series win over the USSR.
The Atlanta Flames moving to Calgary (the only professional team to leave a big money US market to come to Canada).
The first Canadian to learn to curve their stick using a blowtorch.
Warm Labatt 50.
Even though it’s in Toronto, the giant phallic erection next to the Rogers Centre.
Newfoundland Screech.
Americanized rugby with one less down.
The game of basketball.

And if all else fails, remember the following to bring pride to Canadian-hood:

The reason American beer is like sex in a canoe? It’s fucking close to water.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Can bipedal mobile chrome toasters be people and other observations

A note to those ‘non’ Galactica types, this post is very toaster light. Rather, it has been inspired mostly by my reading Battlestar Galactica and Philosophy: Knowledge Here Begins Out There. Currently I’m mired in the fundamental differences between utilitarianism versus deontology, and how they compare to the sacraficial differences in the command styles of Helena Cain in respective contrast to Saul Tigh (and to a lesser degree the Old Man). Fun stuff.

Still, for all the fun filled academia, read the book. For dorks like me, it’s well worth it and sheds loads of depth in an already deep show. However, I’m also reading excerpts of The Joy of Work by Scott Adams to help maintain some semblance of sanity in my life, and as such has made me highly critical of the major evolutionary malfunctions of others. As such, I am envisioning a fusion of the two, as inspired by chapter 5 of the Galactica text, “And They Have A Plan”: Cylons As Persons (written by Robert Arp and Tracie Mahaffey).

The chapter really looks as to whether or not skinjobs can be treated as persons, and examines them based on five points of capacity qualifying them as a person. As such, they are:

1. To be rational or intelligent.
2. Have robust mental states like beliefs, desires, emotions, and self-awareness.
3. Use language, rather than simply transmit information.
4. Be involved in relationships with other persons.
5. Be morally responsible for one’s actions as a free and autonomous who could have done otherwise.

And the main point of this chapter was to imply that ALL conditions must be met. My Gods, how many people my cynicism would disqualify as persons. Exempli gratia:

1. Two thirds of all the drivers in British Columbia. By the way they drive, they obviously have no concept of the cars and pedestrians around them, let alone the world around them, short of the Blackberry they are texting to Facebook on while they drive in rush hour traffic. It is obvious these people cannot manage to tie their own shoes, let alone run their lives. And obvious disqualification to personhood.

2. I’m tempted to say all Christians, as their belief system is based on a lie, but alas, it is a belief system. It’s pretty much a stretch to throw someone in here, so I’ll leave this for Todd the peanut gallery to give their two cents.

3. This HAS to be computer techies. Aside from fueling Todd’s fire to slam this post, the only ‘LANGUAGE’ (or languages) they understand are computer code. Communicating original thought or ideas orally is an idea completely foreign to the lot. This actually works in the whole industry’s advantage (whether by design or an intrinsic coincidence is another subject to debate), as the complete lack of communication, cooth, social skill and any semblance of a heart has allowed the IT industry to thrive by making customers feel like intellectually inferior and like absolute shit before they point out the system needs to be rebooted. Mind you the gits who can’t figure that out deserve to be parted with the money they shuck out to learn where the system restart function is.

4. Once again, computer techies. Palmala Handerson does not count as a girlfriend, to all the computer geeks out there.

5. Anyone in government/politics. Look in the dictionary. The first example of oxymoron that is given is ‘honest politician’. There is NO honour amongst thieves, upper management, and politicians.

Isn’t life just all fun and games until someone loses their personhood? Or is ignorance truly bliss?

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

What a lack of sport combined with ridiculous prices will do to a man

Fuckity fuck fuck. No Battlestar for at least six months. Frak. Still, it could be worse. There could be no sports on TV (oh wait, that’s not far from the truth). With England out of the Euros, there has been little interest for me short of seeing Portugal and Germany lose. One down, one to go. Baseball really doesn’t get interesting until oh, say, October, and the NHL draft and free agent signings are just as interesting to follow on an RSS feed as it is listening to Bob McKenzie or Don Taylor relay the same information.

Still, frankly, I’m not a summer person. And this coming from a fire. Gimme my winter, my skiing, my footie, and my hockey. Period. I could honestly live in 12 month winter conditions. Just so long as the price of oil (or at least the publicly perceived price of oil) doesn’t continue to skyrocket.

Not helping such a climb is the new carbon tax levied by Gordon ‘Asshole’ Campbell, our beloved hated Premier. Though this tax will be diverted from others charged (by way of a cheque all taxpayers in BC will receive sometime this week), it certainly hasn’t helped. The same day this tax was announced, gas stations bumped their prices from $1.09 to $1.24. Yikes. Gods I hate this industry that is showing record profits. They seem to be able to use anything to justify a price hike. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck. Fuck. When prices last year made it to $1.30, they didn’t last. People didn’t take it. Now it seems more and more are enjoying being fucked right up the ass. I’m just waiting for gas stations to prepare motorists by providing free vibrating anal dildos to men, preparing them for the next fuck in terms of gas prices. Get used to it.

As such, and keeping in the spirit of what my better half told me once that those on the other side of the pond actually gamble on the weather, and to fill my sports void, I propose this. Let’s have a pool. And the criteria is simple:

What day will gas prices break $1.75 per litre in Vancouver?

I say $1.75 as $1.50 could happen as soon as tomorrow. And when Gordo’s 2.5 cent increase hits, it’s certain. $1.75 is a reasonable next target. Make your pick. And if enough people pick, I might just throw in a vibrator for the winner to allow themselves the training of being fucked up the ass to be better prepared for gas price increases.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

When there are those who don’t know you’re name

And lets just say, you’re Lord Darth Vader, and you run THE Death Star…

And you’re hungry…

Bon Appetite!

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

It Came From Save-On Foods!

I have a confession to make. I’m 35 years old, a driven professional, with a warrior’s soul, and yet I have the heart and imagination of a child. A four year old child. And I collect toys (some pictures from previous posts might shed a tad bit of light on the subject). You can add the terms dork, geek, nerd, loser, et al to me. I really couldn’t be frakked.

Around the time when I was living in the thriving cultural centre of the universe, Windsor, Ontario, sports teams (to the most notable for me at the time was baseball) started giving away Bobbleheads at the gate for the first, say 5,000 fans. I loved the idea of those collectibles, just never got to a game (in Cleveland because frankly I can’t stand the Tigers) to get one. Meh.

Well, over time, so many changes have really prevented me to really looking a collectibles. Until the last year. In that time I’ve collected dragons, Canuck Bobbleheads, McFarlane figurines, McDonald’s NHL Goalie Sticks, and so on, and so on. The shelf above my computer is beginning to be like a feature from It Came From the Basement!

So imagine my surprise when I go to the grocer a little over a month ago, and notice they sell Star Wars bobbleheads for $9.99 apiece (after discount for cardholders)! Woot! As such, the collection continues…

Mind you, the collectible variety doesn’t end there. For $3.00 the other day…. IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!

My Gods, life is so much sweeter when you embrace the inner dork.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Transit Reflections Week 1

Aside from the kick the shit outta you walk back to the SkyTrain station at the end of the day, transit really isn’t quite so bad. It’s definitely a marked improvement over that found in [sic] Toronto. Armed with my iPod and new Battlestar book (to which I should be dedicating a real post tomorrow), I’m actually somewhat occupied for the death train ride home.

It is, however, the fucking walk 1 km uphill that takes the fucking piss outta me. I’ve had some blahg post ideas brewing, but by the time I finally arrive home I’m right wiped. Fuck, cunt, fuck, bollocks, fuck, shit, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Still, certain things just have right floored me (thank you time to read free newspapers and to be alone with my thoughts). Such as:

A. We run transit based on the honour system. The flaw inherent is that are many who take transit that have ABSOLUTELY NONE.

B. One of those fine individuals approached me (whilst I was waiting for one of my work mates) inquiring if I needed a fare. I said no, I buy my own tickets legally (selling used but still valid tickets is so obviously illegal, without even needing to read TransLink’s fine print). He then proceeded to try to procure one of my fares. My response…

Fuck you thief!

C. Superchronic actually is a term the VPD uses to describe one who is charged 12 times in 12 months for drug-related theft.

D. The above group are considered to be put on a 30 strike rule after which sentences will be stiffened.

E. The average sentence upon conviction of people in this group is 55 days.

F. Fuck me, part of me is going to the right, because they aren’t going to change, so lock them up for a long time and get the fuckers off the streets and reduce the huge theft in Vancouver.

G. If you weren’t a severe drug addict, you’d be up shit creek without a paddle for said offenses.

H. I need more blahg content. Maybe some reality challenged, narrow-minded, Jesus freak and extreme right winger from the USA will hate my slant and start a war. I need to stir the pot again sometime. The last challenger had a hissy fit and gave up to easily. Weakling.

And things are just getting so much better. We’re all getting buried under costs. On the Jeff O’Neil show earlier this week, a guy working two jobs to support his family is expecting to hit bankruptcy by December. My parents definitely did not earn their stripes in such a harsh economic climate. Bah.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Sure signs that you are completely and utterly socially unacceptable

The necessity of a day job in these torrid times for me has done one good facilitation. I’ve been reading (though sparsely) more Scott Adams again. What really rings in me with Scott is one simple thing. Though the aim is entertainment and humour for the intellectually inclined individual, I am once again finding that what logical failings that business has in the western world, which by reading humour tend to seem far fetched, off the deep end, and utter exaggerations, are in fact painfully accurate mirrors of the truth.

Being a logical, academic, and scientifically minded individual, the absolute bollocks that goes on in business is the complete reason why the world is reverse-evolving. With time and applied thought, comes experience. It is obvious that business is more about politics than accomplishing tasks for customers/clients. Perhaps that the dance of bullshit is what is necessary to keep commerce afloat, to be a battlefield to which intellectual plebs may flex their overestimated size, to create competition for those weak souls who rely on cowardice for might, not skill, talent or intellect.

Bah. Still, we intellects must compete in the same mediocre battlefield as we too must eat and have shelter. Frakkers. Since being a child, it became obvious that academic prowess led to dorkiness, geekiness, and nerdiness. In my younger days, I denied it. I wanted to be cool. I just did not want to conform to do it. I did not realize the paradox within. In order to be cool, to be accepted by the norm, one must conform. At this revelation, I did truly recognize I was completely and utterly socially unacceptable. I thought for myself. I hate the mainstream. Frak it all. I’m me and I love it!

As such, for the Scott Adams-esque analysis of such, here are some signs I’ve discovered that might seperate you (well, they seperate me) from the norm of mainstream society:

A. In your top twenty-five iTunes songs, 6 are by Bear McCreary, 3 by Richard Gibbs, 1 is a clip available for download from your favourite radio station, and the number one ‘Rock’ song is Killing in the Name by Rage Against the Machine.

B. You actually take the time to monitor statistics on your iTunes list.

C. You are currently reading Battlestar Galactica and Philosophy: Knowledge Here Begins Out There.

D. You want to read Family Guy and Philosophy: A Cure for the Petarded next.

E. You get most of the classical references in such.

F. These books inspire you to read more classical philosophy.

G. You also read about classical civilizations.

H. You keep tabs on the population count in the opening credits of each episode of Battlestar Galactica.

I. You refer to your enemies as ‘Walking Chrome Toasters’.

J. You start to realize your dorkiness has a Galactica slant.

K. To compensate for such you purchase Star Wars bobbleheads at the grocer.

L. Vos propono magis en latin.

M. You wanted to write only 12 signs but are writing this to realize it’s thirteen.

N. You start to figure out that using letters rather than numbers might have fucked you up.

Well, it’s a start. If you seem to suffer from some (or all) of the above symptoms, you are not fit for mainstream society. Your ideas and passion, though necessary for the advancement and evolution of the human race, are feared, loathed, and you will be hunted down the moment your back is turned.

Bon Appetito.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Always a Canuck

Today I’m going to take a small step away from my normal, potty shooting self and actually say something nice. No, aliens have NOT abducted me and replaced me with a Chrome Toaster. Rather, I’ve been reflecting on the career of Trevor Linden, who formally announced his retirement this week.

What can be said that hasn’t already? Captain Canuck. All Star. Olympian. But what comes to my mind is the man. It seems with so many young athletes these days who are thrust into the limelight of their sport of choice, the money and power go to their head. Though they never ask of it, ultimately they to some degree or another become a role model. And a good deal of the choices out there are pitiful.

But not Trevor. It was almost as he knew the responsibility that came with the job, and has a great moral compass. Everyone seems to have a great Linden story from around here. Even me. And this is before my days in eternally sunny Vancouver, BC. Rather, this was in my adolescent prison from Quebec, being Toronto. Maple Leaf Gardens around November 1990. The Gardens actually was good for autograph geeks like myself to find our favourite non-Toronto players (well, all my favourite players were NOT Leafs). Most teams would make their way through the lobby to the buses, and sign some autographs for the fans on the way out. But the Canucks were different. The entire Canucks team would actually stand around, and not only sign autographs, but talk to the fans. This one night I had brought a stack of Canuck O-Pee-Chee cards, but Linden was the only Canuck who was playing that night that I actually had a card for. And he actually signed it (it’s still at my parents house I’m sure), and as well talked to me for a minute, and asked me how I enjoyed the game (which the Canucks won 5-3). At the time it was cool, but now I am floored just how much he was involved, plugged in, and cared, especially in a rival city.

We’ll be able to replace the player, and will have to replace the player, but will never be able to replace the man. Don’t be a stranger Trevor. This city loves you man.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Even more useless facts about myself to fill the page with new words

I’ll cut to the chase. I want to really make an effort to get back to a post a day. In the same regard, I also want to increase the quality of the posts. When I started blogging, it became right easy to fill posts with useless drivel. Bah. Thus we have the Meh-me.

Still, I also hate the weeks of lack of new content. The grass always seems greener on the other side. Still, writing more consistently does allow more ideas to flow with greater ease (friction laws apply to thought as well as motion). As such, Ben put something of a casual invite for yet another one of those 10 random facts about yourself meh-mes. Meg.

As such,

1. The first movie I ever saw in the theatres was Star Wars. On opening day in 1977. Very fitting film to begin my love affair with cinema. But this isn’t new. Anyone reading this blahg wouldn’t have a difficult time finding this out or coming to terms with it about me.

However, on a similarly related note, the SECOND film I saw in the theatres was Battlestar Galactica. Creepy.

2. I despise remakes. Yet the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica is my favourite ever piece of science fiction filmed entertainment. It does fit the one criteria I would deem acceptable for any kind of remake. That the core idea remains, but the entire concept is re-done from the ground up. A cultural and social update and commentary. Id est, not a shot by shot duplication (see Psycho).

3. I was completely unpopular in high school. I hated being the outcast. Girls found me repulsive. Fuck me, how the times have changed. As my better half can attest, female passers by can’t get enough of me. But I’m Dawn’s, all Dawn’s, and I love it. I also get a kick out of how others look to me now for direction.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

4. I seriously wonder if I put my mom through more hell than Stewie Griffin puts Lois through.

5. I sincerely think there is NOTHING that I cannot accomplish. My advice to those spectators of my attempts, get the fuck outta my way or you’ll get hurt.

6. I have an IQ of around 160. I can do complex arithmetic and algebra in my head. I remember every trivial fact I’ve been exposed to since I was four. Hell, speaking when I was four, my grandmother taught me the multiplication tables from 1×1 to 12×12. The day before kindergarten, I argued with my parents that I didn’t need school, that I was too advanced for it, and had a literal argument for every reason they gave me (still at four years old). I didn’t find school challenging AT ALL, even in gifted programs, until midway through University.

And now I drive deliveries as a day job (as I am an underemployed film technician, my passion), and consistently almost forget to bring the coffee with me to my car that I pour less than one minute prior to leaving my apartment.

7. I think the phrase Country Music is the biggest oxymoron in the English language. Runners up include Military Intelligence, Defensive Forward, and Canadian Dollar.

8. It floors me to this day that I write a post about proud Canadianism and how that essentially equates to pride being NOT American, and that receives flak amongst the interweb and blogosphere. However, I can use the word CUNT liberally and not one of those same self righteous twats will even blink an eye. CUNT CUNT CUNT.

9. I really think that ancient Romans and Greeks were more civilized and advanced than we are right now.

10. I think it’s better to have ideas than beliefs. See Rufus’s monologue in Dogma for further reference.

I too hate the whole tagging people nonsense. If you choose to do it, please link back or leave a quick comment.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.