The return of Twisted Filler and other observations in the dawn of great change…

One thing came up in the twisted filler.

From Paul. Big shock there. Good ol’ Pastehead keeps finding these rarities. As such…

The Nietzsche Family Circus.

Feel free to email any humourous oddities to me at neolithicfilms@gmail.com.

I’m going to need a lot of them these days as our dear Vancouver Canucks are flirting with cellar dwelling this season in the Western Conference. Out are Naslund and Morrison. In come Steve Bernier, Ryan Johnson, Darcy Hordichuk, and Kyle Wellwood. And in all honesty, I do think the Canucks need to go to the drawing board, and definitely start from scratch. If the ‘Nucks do make a consistent commitment to the draft and developing young talent, they can be a force to reckon with in several years time. In the meantime, it makes for very boring hockey. However, there is a wild card. Is Luongo, our star goalie, willing to put up with a carbon copy of the dogma fed to him in Florida, a team that sucks so much balls? Though the direction is in the future, towards the youth, maybe getting a good name player to stand tall with the Sedin twins might give ol’ Bobby Lu enough motivation to stick around until the Canucks rise as a potent force once again.

I’ve been mulling it over, and there is one player I do have in mind. Not a free agent though, so it would have to be a trade…

So how about…

Kevin Bieksa to Philadelphia for Daniel Briere?

Briere’s probably not available, and the Flyers might not jump at this idea, but I do love the way Briere plays. Even if he beat the beloved Habs in the spring playoff dance (fucker).

Though in all sincerity, this isn’t the worst deal I’ve seen in the last 24 hours. Telus and Bell will start charging for incoming text messages starting in August. Revamping costs, or making a quick buck on the spam text message market that’s becoming as obnoxious as it has on the email front.

Thank fuck I’m with Rogers.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Always a Canuck

Today I’m going to take a small step away from my normal, potty shooting self and actually say something nice. No, aliens have NOT abducted me and replaced me with a Chrome Toaster. Rather, I’ve been reflecting on the career of Trevor Linden, who formally announced his retirement this week.

What can be said that hasn’t already? Captain Canuck. All Star. Olympian. But what comes to my mind is the man. It seems with so many young athletes these days who are thrust into the limelight of their sport of choice, the money and power go to their head. Though they never ask of it, ultimately they to some degree or another become a role model. And a good deal of the choices out there are pitiful.

But not Trevor. It was almost as he knew the responsibility that came with the job, and has a great moral compass. Everyone seems to have a great Linden story from around here. Even me. And this is before my days in eternally sunny Vancouver, BC. Rather, this was in my adolescent prison from Quebec, being Toronto. Maple Leaf Gardens around November 1990. The Gardens actually was good for autograph geeks like myself to find our favourite non-Toronto players (well, all my favourite players were NOT Leafs). Most teams would make their way through the lobby to the buses, and sign some autographs for the fans on the way out. But the Canucks were different. The entire Canucks team would actually stand around, and not only sign autographs, but talk to the fans. This one night I had brought a stack of Canuck O-Pee-Chee cards, but Linden was the only Canuck who was playing that night that I actually had a card for. And he actually signed it (it’s still at my parents house I’m sure), and as well talked to me for a minute, and asked me how I enjoyed the game (which the Canucks won 5-3). At the time it was cool, but now I am floored just how much he was involved, plugged in, and cared, especially in a rival city.

We’ll be able to replace the player, and will have to replace the player, but will never be able to replace the man. Don’t be a stranger Trevor. This city loves you man.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Just when we were getting to know you

They say only the good die young. The same is true of talented Canucks prospect Luc Bourdon, who died in a motorcycling accident today in New Brunswick.

I just can’t even equate how this has hit me yet. My condolences go out to his family, friends and teammates, past and present.

Baby, if you ever wondered. Wondered whatever became of me…

But I’m NOT at WKRP in Cincinnati. Still, being a driver, I am privy to a great deal of airtime for radio in the Vancouver area. My poison of choice? CFOX. Not that this is a surprise to my three readers. But for those of you who Googled your way here, here’s why I listen to CFOX. At first, it was the music. It’s the only station in the area (which is surprising considering our vicinity to Seattle) that plays alternative rock, specifically from the early 90’s. But alas, even alternative rock stations change. Alternative became mainstream. Now, instead of a kicking Rymes With Orange or Pure song, we get Jack Johnson or Billy [No-]Talent. Ugghh. And if Jeff’s reading this, I did email my gripes to dinner@cfox.com (which now has become nancy@cfox.com).

Still, CFOX has it’s redeeming features. The Jeff O’Neil Morning Show. Indie Night in Canada. And Neil Morrison kicks major ass at noon with the 90’s at Noon. I can get my Pure/Rymes/Doughboys/Stabbing Westward/and soforth fix. Each week I can definitely remember some little odd song I really liked from my university days.

But therein lies the problem. After 1:00 PM, CFOX goes flat. I can only take so much of the crap that passes for alt rock, and I get my fill listening to O’Neil who has little music creative control. As such, the radio tends to find itself to Team 1040 for Pratt and Taylor. Until the playoffs started, there were some quite deep discussions about a wide variety of western Canadian sports topics. Now that the Canucks and Giants are both out of the playoffs, the discussions reverse evolved. Fire Nonis. And when they did, and replaced him with rookie GM Mike Gillis, complain that we need Nonis back. Uggghh.

Here’s a list of things that are really now equivocable to beating a dead horse (as it relates to talk sports radio in Vancouver):

Brian Burke being the next Leafs GM.
The Leafs hiring Nonis as an incentive for Burke to come to be the GM when his contract expires in Anaheim.
Should Nonis consider other offers than Toronto?
Is Toronto the right situation for Burke?
Burke will go to Toronto because he can get a job for his wife (an on-air personality) at the Toronto CBC.

I could go on, but you get the point. This is Vancouver for fuck sakes. Why the fuck are we obsessed with Toronto? Are Canuck fans obsessed with the past? Do they NOT care about the BC Lions and the Vancouver Whitecaps? Or is it that Don Taylor is a total sellout? Even O’Neil still talks to Kevin ‘Boom Boom’ Bieksa in the offseason. I remember that Sportsnet (that Taylor also appears) ran a campaign for Taylor’s Sportsnet Pacific program that had a tagline of “Eastern highlights if I have time.” Now it seems Taylor is much more interested in the east than the west.

Maybe the Team 1040 needs this kind of format change.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

P.S. Grow my city!

Just one kick in the bollocks after another

Case in point. Today. And even aside from the fact I had to work at my ‘job’.

Take into consideration:

Liverpool lost to Chelsea in the Champions League semis.

UGGGHHHH (added insult to this… shit scum Man U. got through to the final).

Montreal went down 3-1 to the Broad Street Bullies.

UGGGHHHH

And just to make third time the charm, an until now, thought to be boxed model of chrome toaster (for conspiring to divide humanity) has now re-emerged, set to continue it’s traitorous ways. Where the fuck is an airlock when I need it?

However, there is a silver lining to the monsoon cloud hanging over me. Hint number one, there will soon be much less Fe in my life.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

P.S. Help my city grow.

P.P.S. Go to this radio station site and vote for my friend, Christine Todd.

How the electrical setup of my car put a puppet in management

You know, I did have a good vibe going into this week after posting that lovely photo on Sunday. In retrospect though, I wonder if anyone other than Dawn looked at it. Still, to my delight sheer horror, Monday morning my car wouldn’t start. Battery. But not just that. Positive electrode was eroded to the point it crumbled when I removed it. So, close to $200 in associated costs, and my car lives once more.

But it did take a physical toll. Transit to and from “work” is not entirely friendly. The SkyTrain gets me close, but no buses run close to “work”. As such, a shitty delightful 20 minute walk is required, at six something AM to “work”, and the same walk, this time uphill, after a physically punishing day. Needless to say, I’ve barely had the energy to sit behind my G4 to check and reply to emails, let alone blather on about the bollocks that is my life.

Though the commute gives me more time to listen to my not heavily used iPod, I do miss the first hour of Jeff O’Neil. Well, okay, Charis and Scotty, as they carry O’Neil’s overweight ass. Follow the previous link, click on Audio, and pull up WE BROUGHT NHL SMACK… ALL SEASON LONG just to get a taste of what I really like about the show. It’s a shame they didn’t have the best smack of all season on it (Ombudsben will get a kick out of this):

“Welcome to Minnesota. Home of the Wild, and home to 10,000 lakes, and 10,000 prostitutes. Most of whom are female. Right Wild coach Jacques Lemaire?”

You get the idea. I know, the ‘Nucks didn’t even make the dance, but alas, my East favourites, and original hometown Habs showed some grit tonight coming back to beat the Broad Street Bullies 4-3 in OT. Canada is definitely not out yet. And the Leafs continue to golf, and will they be retarded enough to wait another year before overpaying for Burke?

CFOX though, outside of the O’Neil show, has but two bright spots. Lana’s Indie Night in Canada and Neil Morrison’s Nineties at Noon definitely bring life to an over-produced, corporate, and bland view of Rock in the new millenium. As such, the afternoons are now progressing to sports radio to save me the headache of Billy No-Talent or Nickleback. [Watch me shudder at the thought] Which brings me to my ultimate point.

Nonis is out, and Mike Gillis is in. Fuck me running, it’s all I’ve heard all week long. It’s a mixed feel for any playoff games. With the Giants also out, hockey seems to have died. Maybe that’s a benefit of being an ex-patriot of Montreal, coupled with the Habs finally having a season we expect of them. Hockey’s still on the brain. But here, it’s next season, what’s Gillis going to do, should we re-sign Naslund, who should we trade, free agents… what will Gillis do.

About Mike, I do have two things to say. First, he gave a good press conference. Unlike many in this day, he didn’t hold back. He laid it out. The ‘Nucks need serious change, and they want to build around Luongo. DUH! Shame Nonis didn’t see the first part of that. Hey, maybe he’ll get hired by Burke if he signs in Toronto, so the two can be haunted by the ghost of Harold Ballard. And he had the bollocks to point out areas, most notably scouting and development, that needs a major overhaul. Good on you.

Secondly, and this is to the vast majority of gits in the Vancouver area who act like they know something about hockey but never laced up and can barely count past four,

IT WAS JUST A PRESS CONFERENCE. We won’t know what kind of GM Gillis will be for a couple of years yet.

Yes, the Vancouver faithful are already judging the inexperienced man on just a few words. Vancouver has been through rebuilds before. If history has taught us anything, we need to wait a few years to see if this new team that will develop will be a serious contender.

For me, I just hope that Gillis isn’t a puppet (I’ve seen a lot of that at “work”, and the smell reeks from GM Place to my home of the same), a figure to allow Aquilini to be the George Steinbrenner [of old] for Western Canadian hockey.

But only time will tell.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferreus six.

P.S. Help grow the population of my city, New Delphi.

Say, Roberto, can you score 30 goals in less than thirty games?

As the ‘Nucks enter the stretch toward the trade deadline, we’ve been subject to many trade rumours. Marian Hossa. Martin Havlat. Even Mats Sundin, the harbinger of the hockey apocalypse (hell, the fucker plays for the Leafs, need I say any more?) has been named in trades. But with all this talk, I remember words from Jay Janower, something to the effect of are we a trade or two away from the Cup?

My thought? Hell fucking no! Until Morrison returns, really all we can muster is one solid line of offence. Naslund and two Sedins. Frankly, we need size with skill more than we need a rental player at the cost of our future. So unless Nonis can swing the proverbial ‘Courtnall for Kordic’ trade. Maybe Brian Burke will suffer major brain damage and we can pawn off Sami Salo for Ryan Getzlaf.

And maybe Stewie Griffin will truly want to live in harmony with Lois.

So, it leaves two possible scenarios come trade time. One, we lose potential long term talent in the likes of Ryan Kesler, Alex Edler, Luc Bourdon, and possible picks for 20 games with playoffs of the likes of the aforementioned non-Canuck talent. And without the possibility of signing Forsberg, there really is not a lot of options to bolster our inconsistent offence. Cripes, we do make the Mild of Minnesota look like an offensive juggernaut, don’t we?

Otherwise, we won’t make a big deal, and may very well have to rely on Luongo to help with the offence. At least it seems he’s returning back to form after a lull that spans to games prior to the All-Star Break. Thank the Gods. Now if the skaters could do something to help keep the pressure off of Canada’s goalie for 2010.

And, in semi-related news, after a week of searching, I finally, FINALLY found this (the initial run sold out in less than 4 hours):

That is all.

The Real Captain Canuck…

And no, it’s not Linden hanging behind the Franchise, Roberto Luongo either.

Love you babe

That is all.

We don’t need no stinking WGA

For the following reasons:

1. We have the WGC. Who brings us such wonderful programming as Corner Gas. Nothing like a sitcom set in the tropics of rural Saskatchewan.

2. We have reality TV. Which is a misnomer in itself, as true reality programming would fall under the category of cinema verite documentary. Reality TV is scripted. But not in a writing sense. More in a producers want to play god sort of way. Actually, strike that. Reality TV sucks. Feels too much like working for the man.

3. This man.

And has GOOD reality-based programs, being Gene Simmons Family Jewels and now the obvious standout on Celebrity Apprentice (and Omarosa is still a twat). And he’s a reminder to me to get off of my ass and take control of my destiny. What a fantastic role model ol’ Chiam is.

4. These two.

My Gods, I could watch their shit all day. Though Dawn would probably shoot me before I knew if I could tire of them.

5. Hockey. ‘Nucks win, Habs win, Flames win, Leafs lose. All is good in the world. Ready to kick America’s ass tomorrow in the World Junior semi’s tomorrow. I predict Canada 8, USA 0.

More photography tomorrow.

That is all.

Cookie Monster revisited

Just for Rob (in reference to his comment to this post today):

Okay, I’m evil. At least I didn’t post this:

Oh wait. I just did. Meh. How ’bout Manamana to make up for it:

That is all.