M.C.F.A.T. XX

Questions initially posed here. Now to the answers…

1) Are you offended when a film or television show lampoons something close to you, be it nationality, faith, gender, etc.? If so, how do you respond?

Ultimately, no. Not to say that sometimes there’s a real zing to some off colour comments, jokes, gags, or the like. Anyone who says nothing bothers them is really full of shit.

I do hold dear certain ideas which I consider to be true. First, the one and only cost of freedom of speech. Every person in a free thinking and free speaking society will be offended by someone’s opinion at some point. We must allow others to speak freely regardless of the impact to our own person. Any attempt to augment this freedom is nothing short of censorship.

Second, every joke pokes fun at someone. Or something. Yes, there is a butt to every joke. And sometimes, that butt is close to home. Deal with it. I to get sick, fed up, and tired of certain running gags, like how Canadians say ‘about’. Or lately (though this was not for humour’s sake), Jim Rome’s slam on Canada’s showing in the Beijing Olympics. All I do is remember Rick. And YouTube a whole pile of Talking to Americans.

Nothing like fighting fire with fire.

2) If you were granted with superhuman intelligence and or abilities that had the unfortunate side effect of ending your life in a few days, how would you spend your final hours?

It would be tough to gauge, because I would no longer be fighting for the days when we all have the time, as time would be just about up. As the number of moments would now be limited in this scenario, I would literally be as spontaneous as possible. I would try to enjoy the time I had left, though I do know some moral sense to me would see the greater purpose of these abilities and use them for some act of good before my time was up.

3) If someone you knew repeatedly demonstrated poor hygiene, would you ever broach the subject and tell the person?

I would pull no punches. I’m the type that would tell that person flat out with no hesitation. But also knowing me, I’d use it as a series of opportunities to take the royal fucking piss out of said person.

4) Who are some of your favorite television characters that originated on one series before being spun off into another?

Oooh, I’m liking this one. I could go on with massive descriptions, but as bandwidth is only so large on WordPress, I’ll just leave the list:

Cleveland Brown
Space Ghost
Melvin Frohike
Richard Langly
John Fitzgerald Byers
Hank Hill
Jay and Silent Bob (they appeared on episodes of Degrassi: The Next Generation)

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: What was the name of my first pet, and what was it?

Based on the fact I was probably in Montreal at the time and NOT New York State, I have no real fucking clue. As such, I’ll make wry stab of a male, shaved feline, who was the first of the feline species to worship Allah as it’s own, but goes by a common girl’s name of Lovepreet.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

M.C.F.A.T. Episode XIX - almost one for each digit

Wow, and it’s been more than a year since the last.

Without further adieu, number XIX:

1) Should film critics be genre-specific? Why or why not?

No. Period (wait I put one of those in). First, I must ask this. Are there just ’southwestern cuisine’ critics? Or just ‘French food’ critics? Or do we usually have a critic that reviews many different varieties of food and restaurants? Though I tend to completely ignore not only critical reviews, but the existence of such criticism, it is still important to embrace a variety, the spice of life. As an example, I do know several who are huge Battlestar Galactica fans, but hate Sci-Fi. Imagine how fewer would watch the show if even the critics were genre-specific. Critics should be taken with a grain of salt, but should also inspire others to progress beyond their borders, not just be Comic Book Guy to every error, inconsistency and flaw.

2) What are some of your favorite movies and/or episodes of television shows depicting time travel?

Twenty years ago, I probably would have answered with Back to the Future. I actually got the chance to see it on Movie Central not too long back. Now, it feels too dated, too eighties (and not the good part that I like), and too commercial. It had it’s time, but no longer.

My tastes have evolved, warped and demented since then. I’m sure if were to undergo heavy therapy for my normally neurotic condition, the analyst might attribute my lack of normalcy to one point. My discovery of the genius that is David Lynch. He gave us two shows that, though don’t have a specific plot device of time travel, involve a highly non-linear narrative, being Twin Peaks (in reference to the Black Lodge), and Mulholland Drive. I think there’s something to be said about the fine line between genius and madness.

3) At this exact second, how did you get where you are in life?

Through making mistakes at every turn, persistently working through them, being tough as nails, with loads of help and support from my parents, friends, and Dawn.

4) Will there be sex in heaven?

Ooh, be still my beating heart. A very slanted question. My natural perspective pulls out the sheer Christian audacity inherent within. And in that sense, begins my answer. In the Christian context of heaven, one would think that it would parallel Eden, in which it would be a place without sin. However, in an idealistic sense (which would be akin to heaven), any purpose to sex aside from biological reproduction would be sinful. And as my guess would be that biological reproduction would be redundant in heaven, such a ’sinful’ act would be verboten.

In the non-Christian sense, who knows. If classical paganism is any indication, sex would probably almost be mandatory. Just think of how much of a player Zeus was. Most of the characters from Greek mythology spawned from his seed. This should give Christians hope. The Romans fashioned the Christian God (id est the Father of the Holy Trinity) after this figure. Maybe it’s an explanation of the fundamental hypocrasy of the whole question. Or maybe the hypocrasy of something much larger indeed.

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: What is “that” one thing Meat Loaf wouldn’t do for love?

Take sex advice from Dr. Vagenra Vazhean.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

MCF’s COMMON 3 - with more reciprocals

Sadly though MCF was the only one last time to take a stab at the reciprocals. Meh. C’est la vie.

On to this edition:

GROUP 1
(A) Sparkplug.
(B) Chip.
(C) Carly.
(D) Daniel.

My best stab at this would be the human characters closest to Spike Witwicky from Transformers. In order, his father, best friend, wife, and son.

As for reciprocals

1. Anthony.
2. Delia.
3. Nigella.
4. Jamie.

GROUP 2
(A) man.
(B) boy.
(C) girl.
(D) friends.

I’d have to say all ‘Super’ people/factions from the DC universe. Superman, Superboy, Supergirl, Superfriends.

As for reciprocals

1. Blue.
2. White.
3. Pink.
4. Orange.

GROUP 3
(A) Barton.
(B) Nelson.
(C) Stark.
(D) Williams.

This one was tough. Though, thinking of Hawkeye, Tigra, Iron Man and Wonder Man, I see surnames of the true identities of members of the West Coast Avengers.

As for reciprocals

1. McGill.
2. Nirvana.
3. Papineau.
4. Trudeau.

(okay I know this one isn’t all that creative. Meh.)

GROUP 4
(A) Bea.
(B) Betty.
(C) Estelle.
(D) Rue.

Appended with Arthur, White, Getty, and McClanahan, I see the first names of the actresses who played the Golden Girls.

For reciprocals, I give

1. Rick.
2. Mary.
3. Greg.
4. Cathy.

GROUP 5
(A) Wil.
(B) River.
(C) Corey.
(D) Jerry.

Another first namer, when appended with Wheaton, Phoenix, Feldman, and O’Connell (the last is freaky as to how big he was young), you get the four boys who venture out to see the dead body in Stand By Me.

As for reciprocals

1. Rick.
2. Max.
3. Dave.
4. Mel.

I hope I passed the audition.

That is all.

MCF’s COMMON 2 - with reciprocal results

Yes, reciprocal results. I will post my answer for the common bond, then give a quartet somewhat related of my own.

To wit (original post from MCF here):

GROUP 1
(A) Eject.
(B) Rewind.
(C) Steeljaw.
(D) Ramhorn.

Purely simple. I too watched Transformers as a pre-teen (well, okay, and as a teen). These to me are very plainly ‘cassette’ Autobots. Though I did like the cartoon in my youth, sadly watching the repeats it looks more like toy ads. However, based on the cartoon theme, here is my reciprocating quartet.

i. Rick
ii. Roy
iii. Lisa
iv. Max

GROUP 2
(A) “Porch”.
(B) “Garden”.
(C) “Deep”.
(D) “Release”.

Too easy. The last four songs of Pearl Jam’s debut studio album, Ten. For my reciprocal quartet, I give

i. Brian Wilson
ii. King of Spain
iii. Toy Train
iv. Shine

GROUP 3
(A) William.
(B) Patrick.
(C) Avery.
(D) Kate.

All too easy. Perhaps you are not as powerful as the Emperor thought. Oops. Wrong ‘Star’ franchise. This list, addended by Shatner, Stewart, Brooks, and Mulgrew would give actors who played Captains (well, Brooks’ Sisko started as a Commander, but meh) in four of the five Star Trek series. Yup, I’m too much of a geek not to know that one. For my reciprocal:

i. Lorne
ii. Edward
iii. Michelle
iv. Jamie

GROUP 4
(A) House Painter.
(B) Gas Station Attendant.
(C) Student Teacher.
(D) Art Director.

Based on the last of the four, the only guess I can wager would be jobs MCF has had. For my reciprocal

i. Solids
ii. Linkage
iii. Cinematography
iv. Editing

GROUP 5
(A) Danny.
(B) Peter.
(C) Logan.
(D) Bruce.

Ghost Rider, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Batman? The first names to their alter-ego’s? For my reciprocal

i. Le Capitaine Souche
ii. Bloc-man
iii. The Northern Magus
iv. Power Chin.

That is all.

MCF’s COMMON I or: Filler because doing someone else’s job on top of my own kills my creativity

Or maybe just ‘filler’ because I haven’t been a ‘winner’.

Maybe.

Still, the base concept of this was finding the common thread of a list of four items. As such: (original post here)

GROUP 1
(A) O’Neill.
(B) Tigh.
(C) Sanders.
(D) Klink.

Easy one. Colonels. Col. Jack O’Neill from Stargate, Col. Tigh/Saul Tigh from Orignial/Re-imagined Battlestar Galactica, Col. Harlan Sanders from KFC (or Kentucky Fried Mutated Chicken by-product), and Col. Klink from Hogan’s Heroes.

GROUP 2
(A) Cindy.
(B) Peter.
(C) Samson.
(D) Munchkin.

A bit trickier. I get the Brady Bunch feel from the first two, and with Munchkin at the end, size comes up for me. Sadly, Bobby was the youngest male Brady, so as such, it’s not the smallest. Samson is a biblical figure, so as such I have no clue about it. Well, I do, but still. Not my thing. A Google search gives it as a lot of puppy names, so I guess pet names.

GROUP 3
(A) Sushi.
(B) Cauliflower.
(C) Calamari.
(D) Escargot.

All foods. Three seafood, one land vegetable. Drawing a blank. Oh wait, I’ve got it. What are four food items NOT in my kitchen! (Hat tip Cheers writers for Cliff Claven).

GROUP 4
(A) Liquidator.
(B) Junkyard.
(C) Brain.
(D) Miss Lion.

Oooh. Perhaps four animated characters voice by Maurice LaMarche?

GROUP 5
(A) House.
(B) Clock.
(C) Romano.
(D) Chandler.

Seeing Romano, my initial impulse is cheese. But I can’t fathom Clock cheese. Or Chandler cheese. But television creeps back in. House, MD. 24 (being 24 hours on a clock). Ray Romano. Chandler Bing. Maybe four things in MCF’s typical after prime-time lineup?

Definitely tougher than the which one is different (sadly I missed it).

That is all. Maybe some ideas tomorrow. ICBC is pissing me off.

M.C.F.A.T. Volume XVII - The Sunnyvale Edition

Wow, it’s been a while since one of these.

To wit…

1. What was the first swear word you learned? (You can, of course choose to censor your answer.)

There’s only one way to answer this:

Fuck this court. Fuck Jim Lahey. Fuck Randy. Fuck those two idiot cops right there. Fuck suit dummies; as a matter of fact fuck legal aid. Fuck Danny and Terry’s Buffalo Chicken Wings. Fuck all the old wood in here. Fuck the moon, fuck corn on the cob, fuck squirrels. Fuck me, fuck you, fuck everything!

My mom always thought I was a demon child, though she agrees I got better.

2. If you could have a functioning version of any comic book character’s accessory or vehicle, which would you choose and why?

Wow, this is a tough question. I could go really Brodie Bruce here. Obviously Batman has loads of cool gadgets. However, all the gadgetry subconsciously reminds me of the blasphemous renditions of the Batman television series from the 60’s. As a teen, it made for better savory fare than Thundercats, but come the 1989 Burton film, ONLY the darker version mattered to me. I preferred nerve over techno-crap.

For all other mainstream comic book heroes, they generally have some special ability (to which the Batman does not, he is truly human). As such, in general, I do find most accessories redundant. And aside from the obvious choice of the Batmobile, not other vehicles strike me.

But I thought. What else is there. In going to ‘independent’ comics, I do lead to Angloman. And this gives me the first of two real responses. The billingual shield. Very ironic, as no stop signs in Quebec have the English half of the shield. It must be an import from Ottawa or New Brunswick. And it does STOP everything.

Going to more mainstream, I would have to pick Wolverine’s adamantium skeleton and claws. It’s about the only add-on that fits a character with mutant (or any special) power. It would definitely add to your punch in a fight. Though I’d have to make friends with Magneto right fast.

3. What is your least favorite exercise?

Well, I’d have to go back to ski team for this one, but I’d have to say burpees. A few of us on the team played armoured rugby, and modified an ascending and descending pyramid excersise utilizing burpees. I didn’t mind the aerobic element of the exercise, but the additional damage to my knee, considering I also trained for mogul skiing, it did one hell of a job on my knees. Owww.

4. Can you keep a secret?

What secret?

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: What is my middle name? ([MCF] probably won’t answer this one, but it will be fun to see what people say…)

It’s in your title. Cloaked. Though in the ‘real’ world, seeing as you keep yourself right private, who knows. But if my experience with middle names is accurate, it would be something you’d probably cringe at. And if I’m not mistaken, you have an Italian background, so maybe something traditionally Italian like Guisseppe.

That is all.

M.C.F.A.T. Episode XVI - The Sith With Too Much Drink

And as an introductory note to MCF, this won’t get to be like a Bond franchise unless you start remaking MCFAT episodes, a la Casino Royale.

1) What’s your worst and/or funniest drinking experience? If you never drink, it can be about someone you know, and if you don’t know anyone, move on to the next question.

Well, though I don’t drink as much as I used to (in my university days my blood stream could have been mistaken for a distillery), and though I don’t have many friends out here in BC, I don’t feel justified to move on to the next question. So, instead of incriminating myself, I shall make mention of a “friend”.

The first could very well seem like an urban legend of CH₃CH₂OH prowess, but I shall go on anyhow. At the fine academic institution I attended, we had no fraternities. Rather, we bonded together in groups based on our academic programs and graduation years (i.e. Applied Science ‘95, Mechanical Engineering). And being in the engineering program, we had around 31-35 hours of class per week, along with the same amount of work outside of class. So as such, when we partied, we partied hard. As such, our cliques or groups had events called “smokers”, which were semi-organized events at, for engineers, the centre of the universe.

Now for this particular smoker, was the Sci ‘95 end of first year exams smoker. Starting at 12pm, right after our PASCAL final. Most of us finished the final an hour or more before the alotted time drew to a close. Needless to say, as the dumb frosh we were, many started drinking in line while waiting the hour to get into Clark. One in particular, could barely stand upright upon entering the pub. Well, to wrap up this long story, this individual proceeded to double fist plastic cups of Labatt 50 on tap. Now keeping in mind this is April ‘92, we had a mosh pit (well, for the size of Clark, a mosh area), to which we moshed to Enter Sandman by Metallica and Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. Well, our individual moshed, still double fisted, and surprisingly DID NOT SPILL A DROP OF SWEET, PRECIOUS BEER.

Was Rod Serling there that day?

2) Inspired by some of the insect images [MCF has] seen lately at B13’s and Unspace, what are some of your more horrific encounters with the insect world?

I personally don’t have horrific encounters with the insect world. When I was still in Ontario, the worst thing regarding insects was that I lived in a virtual West Nile Virus breeding ground. But I came out okay. I think.

However, I have had the pleasure of knowing quite a few ladies who completely freak out at the sight of a spider. I just can never figure that one out.

3) How would your life differ if you woke up one morning with no arms?

Well, first off, I don’t think I could ever use this Quagmire line:

“Hey guys, what’s going on? I was just jerki … ed out of a deep sleep.”

But seriously, my life would be drastically different. Being in film lighting, it does require electrical and lighting knowledge, but combines it with a lot of brute work. If I was to continue working in film, it would have to be in a much less physical capacity, like script supervisory or writing capacities (barring of course the dream of directing).

Personally things would change too. I would have to learn to ski without the use of my arms, hockey and baseball would be out of the equation, and most importantly, Dawn would have to learn to drive.

4) Born in the mid 1970s, a lot of the classic rock [MCF had] heard used as jingles for beer, trucks, and other appropriate products was my first exposure to those songs. Do you think some of these songs were ruined by becoming advertising elements? What songs from your formative years could you see being sampled for commercials some day, and for what sort of products?

I don’t think the songs were spoiled. First of all, being spoiled is in the eye of the beholder. Seeing as I don’t watch loads of commercialized television, and as such, I’m not exposed to nauseating levels of corporate advertising, thus I get to listen to my diverse list of songs, from Pink Floyd to the Beatles to Nine Inch Nails to Depeche Mode on my own terms, not to buy the car or the skin cream.

As to what songs from my formative years I could see for products? Well, it’s not a formative year song, nor is it for a product. I’d like to see the Liberals use Killing in the Name by Rage Against the Machine playing over clips of Stephen Harper as their major advertising campaign.

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: [MCF] started blogging on October 13th, 2004. Last year some of you may recall [MCF's] Best Blog Party Party, guest posts, year in review, and revealing photos. What sort of things should [MCF] do for this year’s Cloakfest?

Well, I started blogging around April 2004, and I remember this old irish friend who blogged a lot of interview amongst his flatmates and some friends in general. Maybe, just maybe, all participants in an event would have interview style questions for the lot, and then participants would answer one, several or all interviews.

That is all.

MCFAT Episode XV - Mange ma poutine

1) Your life is going to be a graphic novel. Who’s writing it, and who’s drawing it?

Wow, that’s a great question. Tough one, though. What does one gage his response on? What attributes should I gauge my character upon? Physical prowess? Keen detection skills? The ability to banter well with super villains?

-How’s your comic book collection, Jeff?

It’s goin’ good, but — oh, comics? What are you talking about? I don’t collect comics. Comics are for kids.

Oh. Wait. Okay. I’ll just shut Mallrats off now. And to be quite frank, and probably much to the chagrin of our most gracious host, I haven’t collected a single comic book for about 12 years now, since my university days, when I played poker in the back room of my favourite comic book establishment in Kingston. Hence, not being immersed in the medium for ages, I am not in touch with who draws and writes anymore. Though, thinking back to those days, I remember this one comic I read (which was actually from Montreal), and can see the resemblance with this figure:

So as such, I would like to have it written by Mark Shainblum and drawn by Gabriel Morrissette. Though there will be some stipulations. They must draw Dawn like Poutinette:

(not that she’d agree with it), and the Northern Magus and myself, with the help of giant Bonhommes de Carnival free Canada from the opressive reign of Boring Man:

2) Weather patterns are shifting every year. Wars are exploding across the globe. When and how do you see the world coming to an end?

In the brunt of such world violence and disaster, world religious leaders unite the vast majority of the peoples of the earth under an unprecidented spiritual banner, giving themselves to God in the face of near certain doom. Not only is the strength of faith the greatest since the time of Christ, but humanity nearly unanimously turns it’s back on all vestiges of science, mathematics, and technology, denouncing all scientific principle, accepting only religious doctrine as fact.

Seeing their time to strike, Homo Sapiens Superior, the absolute proof that Darwin was right, attack a practically defenseless human population, under the leadership of Magneto, aka Eric Lensherr, and overtake the world. All non-mutants are executed, inquisition style, given the opportunity to have a merciful death by renouncing their religious faith in lieu of science.

3) What, if anything, would turn you into a supervillain?

Wow. Another good question. But alas, no second Mallrats reference. I suppose it would have to be years upon years of social repression, probably stemming back to childhood. Maybe having moved around so much as a child would allow for a strong lack of defined social skills. Such lack of development would lead to near social paranoia in most circumstances, and it would become difficult, but not impossible, to form strong relationships. This, in combination with being double-crossed that one too many times would push me over the edge.

Wait a minute. Something sounds too familiar about this. I’m wasting time.

4) Let’s try another showdown question: TMNT vs. The Kurgan; who wins?

I would have to say the Kurgan. First off, I never was much of a Turtle fan. Though I do respect the artists they are named after. However, I do respect the Kurgan for this. In the original Highlander film, the Kurgan and Brenda drive along a long stretch of road in the opposite direction. Though this is more Hollywood flare than plot tension, it did bring up a point made the first time I saw the film (sadly though, on video). My Uncle Wayne made a casual remark that this display of driving was not unlike Aunt Jan driving to Barrhaven Mall (a less than 1km drive). The timing was brilliant, and as such, Kurgan gets the nod over the turtles.

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: The year is 3994. What’s a Mok?

Sorry, I had to Google this. I wouldn’t have even answered this if not for the childhood memory this invoked. Thundarr the Barbarian. Thank you MCF, you have returned a part of my childhood to me. Not that Thundarr beat Battle of the Planets, but it’s always a great reminder of a simpler time, just like Space Ghost, or better yet, Robotech.

That is all.

MCFAT Episode XIV - Remakes must all die

Ahh, there’s nothing like time off to recharge the batteries. And, in the long list of blog surfing I must do, I notice that MCF has posted another MCFAT.

Here we go…

1) Friends and family often offer advice or share experiences with the best of intentions, sometimes with the opposite of the desired effect. What are some of your more memorable “you’re not helping…” moments?

No specific moments come to mind, as I’m a bit of a firecracker and just flare up when people get in my way. However, thinking about overall instances, it seems to me to be that that “other party”, family or friend, just doesn’t seem to take the time to get to know what’s gone on until it’s too late. I’ve got to work on my short fuse, but as well I should try to open up more and take things easy.

2) You enjoy this actor’s work, but many people just don’t get it. Who is it?

Okay, why does this have to be an actor. There is a director as well, to which I will add a second bit about.

First off though, is the actor. And that actor happens to be Don McKellar. For those of you not familiar with Canadian films, and this goes to many readers in Canada as well as abroad, we do not have a studio system in place strong enough to finance Canadian film production, so the government has instituted a financing program for feature length films called Telefilm. Amongst many requirements, films funded by Telefilm must have a very distinct Canadian flavour to them, which is graded on a point system. This requirement tends to explain as to why many Canadian films have constant insert shots of the CN Tower, Canadian Flags, people ordering ridiculous amounts of maple syrup and beer, and overstating locations by adding not only province (which to most Canadians is redundant already), but as well making damn well sure they say Canada too (i.e. Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada… where most Canadians will say Burnaby and that’s all we’d need).

Well, with all the artistically sound but financially disatrous Canadian films released in the last decade or so, one name seems to be attached to them all. Don McKellar. As a heads up to a film you MAY have seen McKellar in, he was Yevgeny Nourish in eXistenZ. Yeah, that much of a standout. He rarely seems to star in films, but in his supportive roles, he nails the part every time. It is nice to see strong Canadian talent work to develop the industry here rather than flee down south for the greenbacks.

Secondly, as to the Director, my pick should not surprise any of the consistent readers here. David Lynch. I can’t say much more than this without creating major strain in my fingers from overtyping. He is sheer genius.

3) In general, when it comes to movies, are originals better than remakes, or vice versa? Feel free to cite examples that support either or both positions.

Originals. Period. In my eyes, there are very few movies that even should be considered to be remade. Being a film purist, I agree with the thoughts of my scripts professor from film school. The only justification, artistically, for a film remake is if a film is updated to reflect the current times. Too many remakes aren’t engaged as an artistic remake, but rather taking a story and a formula known to work, and populate it with current actors who are proven box office draws. Why not theatrically “re-release” old classics, digitally re-mastered to make the image and sound crisper, cleaner, and stronger? Simple. Art has taken a back seat to pop culture. How sad.

As for some examples of films that are remakes and irk me, consider the following.

Psycho (1998). A supposed “frame by frame” remake of the original Hitchcock classic, with none of the tone, tension, or shocks. What a waste of celluloid.

King Kong (2005). A 187 minute extravaganza to show how potent WETA digital is in comparison to ILM. We have already seen how powerful WETA is. Lord of the Rings. All respect I had for Peter Jackson utterly disappeared with this over the top bit of blatant self promotion and money grab.

Star Wars Special Edition. Though not a technically a remake, Lucas’s tinkering with scenes for the most part hurt more than helped the overall effect. Exclusions are the battle above the first Death Star, recreating most of the special effects shots digitally, digitally re-assembling the Hoth battle to get rid of the dreaded transparent Snowspeeders. Borderline goes to the addition of the Jabba the Hutt scene in A New Hope, as the scene gives dramatic importance, though the digital Jabba is an eyesore. If Lucas likes to fiddle, fix this please. And keep Greedo from shooting first.

4) If it were scientifically possible to live on any other planet in our solar system, through the development of faster-than-light travel and genetic enhancements or protective suits, which planet would you choose to live on?

Mars would be my choice, though I will stay within the realm of currently understood physics to stick with my choice, as faster than light travel really only exists within theoretical concepts discussed by Stephen Hawking and every Treknology geek, and with genetic enhancement, I have my doubts as to it’s long term feasability in a post-conception application. Mars is relatively close to Earth, and as well I just think the atmosphere on Venus is just too stuffy, as it would probably make me feel like I did when I was smoking, and my breathing was not 100%.

5) Who would win in a war: Hobbits or Smurfs?

Smurfs. Nothing evil can ever kill them. Especially evil, nasty, filthy Hobbitsessssssss. They stole the preciousssssssssss from ussssss.

That is all.

MCF Blog Party Episode VIII: The Return of the Stewie

Well, before I start answering, where the hell was I when the first seven hit the blogosphere? Meh. I guess it’s really trivial at this stage. As for the topic, MCF has asked this question of us:

WHAT ARE THE BEST THINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAT HAVE RETURNED?

Well, to that, I can think of three very specific things.

First off, the Star Wars prequels. Now, before you get your rotten tomatoes out to pelt me with (well okay, you’re computer monitor, displaying this blog), I do whole heartedly agree that Episode I (less Darth Maul) and 80% of Episode II were complete and utter shit. Episode III however, though it did not attone for the sins of the first two, helped bring closure to a chapter of my life that spanned nearly 30 years. Yes, I saw the original Star Wars on opening day with my father in 1977. A feat, though with different accompaniment for the different episodes, matched for every film, including the re-releases in 1997. All six films viewed on opening day. Though Star Wars technically left, or went on hiatus, from 1983 to 1997, high school and university was filled with angst as to when the films would return for the prequels, if ever. Thank you George, for following through on your promise to show the single moment we all have waited for. The transformation of Anakin to Darth Vader.

And yes, I am a total Star Wars geek.

Secondly, I would have to say the return of Family Guy to the airwaves. It goes without saying that Stewart Gilligan Griffin is a character devised of sheer genius. I remember watching the show in it’s original run back in ‘99 and 2000, to which amongst my peers, I was the only one who appreciated it’s humour. As to whether Family Guy was cancelled due to pressure concerning it’s questionable content, or just poor ratings, I have not truly learned the answer to it. Though when the box set was released, my desires for matricide (along with the desire to purchase the box set) exploded like a ticking time bomb inside of Lois’s uterus (Happy 50th Birthday). Thankfully, the box set, and syndicated runs prompted Fox to reorder the series. The show that makes the Simpsons seem as funny as root canal work finally returns to the airwaves. Bravo.

And lastly, but not least, is my love, my fiancee, my life partner Dawn. I always save the best for last. Dawn and I, if you haven’t been reading, met online, when I was living in utter hell (read Toronto), and she was in South Yorkshire, UK. We finally met up late August, 2004. After four wonderful weeks together, Dawn had to return to the other side of the pond, with a future date to return to each other undecided. After a tearful goodbye, we both endured the worst possible six weeks imaginable. Though we knew we would once again be in each other’s arms, the question as to when loomed dark within our hearts. Now that Dawn has returned to Canada permanently, I am thankful every day that I have her in my life, and I fight every day to make our lives together better and better. As morbid as this may sound, our being seperated has caused me to realize how special she is, and it is true. If you love someone, let them go, and if they come back, it was meant to be.

That is all.