Recreationism

It is funny what kind of thoughts creep into the mind the day after the day after. After a bender on Friday (I really have not much to do on Fridays as we have to wait to 2009 to find out who the twelfth toaster is), and severe hangover recovery on Saturday, today my brain almost reached solid state once again. And our neighbours in our building took us to the ‘Wack to go to a water park. And with temperatures up in the thirties, it was a good idea. Though in saying, the heat did not help much with the intellectual recuperation for day 2.

Now before I babble onward, I do have to say our neighbours also have recently purchased an RV and decided to take us down in it. And the AC was far from effective on this hot day. So, needless to say, the induced ADD was at a high. And when we filled up, the word just rang in my mind. Recreation (which was on the sign indicating recreational vehicles should be only at the outermost pumps). Recreation. Re-Creation. Re-Create. I started two mental tangents on the roots of the word. It’s root is in latin, recreare, to create again, to renew.

Renewal makes some sense for the use of the word. Going out and partaking in activity of a totally personal and enjoyable nature, getting away from the grind does renew the spirit of the individual, renews the vim and vigor for the daily battle that always ensues. To create again, however, seems to be lacking upon plain observation for me whilst hurtling oneself down a water slide.

Re-Creation. Hmmm. My first tangent had the ongoing and utterly retarded argument of Darwinism vs. Creationism rolling around in my brain. Can’t the Christians accept that maybe the work of fiction isn’t entirely accurate? It is quite possible that God, or the Gods planted the seeds of life and what we know now of life is evolved from said seeds. If Chaos Theory and Fractal analysis has taught us something, patterns in nature continue to repeat itself throughout the melodies and harmonies that exist in our worlds. We make meals from ’scratch’, that is a dish evolves from the correct cooking of it’s core ingredients. A team is stronger than the sum of it’s individual parts. Building materials are developed from core minerals and resources and utilized to be stronger. We very well could all have evolved from single celled organisms planted here millions of years ago.

But still, back to the application to recreational activity. Maybe what omnipotent beings may have done to start the dance of life, one truth remains. We die, and we also reproduce (though not necessarily in that order). Maybe an old inference of recreation was directly attributed to having children. And to further extrapolate, perhaps that the term of renewal is not only in reproducing new life to replace the old, but the renewal of the youthful spirit in the adults by the way they are touched by their children. Maybe. Though I don’t have children, so I really don’t know yet. Time will tell for me on that one.

The latter, re-create, has me thinking of this one Adama-esque line. “You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you’ve created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can’t hide from the things that you’ve done anymore.” Now aside from the obvious flaw that a man from a polytheistic culture is referring to omnipotence as a unified being, maybe the term is a satirical remark to man’s desire to be God-like and immortal. As much as it’s denied, it seems to be an unconsciously practiced behaviour in the western world. Tragic fiction is strife with anti-heroes who flirt with deification, only to fall in the end. Maybe bringing the family to a ‘recreation spot’ is a form of recreating a short-term Eden in which the Alpha Male can fantasize about being the almighty, just one day before returning to the grind and responding ‘how high’ all week.

Still, I’m just trying to get my head around this. Why the fuck couldn’t Canada Day land on Monday this year so I don’t have to go back to frakking work for one day? Bah!

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

It’s Been One Week

Full of asshats.
New boss is an asshat and is very angry.
Five days of near slavery,
Saying asshats galore, get the hell away from me.
Two days in the living room,
Another asshat comes, but this time was virtual.
Yesterday, I’d flamed her,
But it’ll be never before I say I’m sorry.

Not much changes in the world of me. My life’s a war, and for some fucked up reason, all the asshats gravitate towards me. I mean, come on, can’t these pieces of biological waste get a hobby or something?

This one, however, has. She seems to find people like me, who stand against America (for me, it’s simply the Americanization of Canada). She has, as you have now realized following the link, taken on a war against anti-Americanism (isn’t that just as futile as taking on a war against another concept, such as terrorism)? And just to show you where I stand (as it seems I’m highly misunderstood). America is fine. Within limits. For me, just south of 49 will do. And they can have Toronto to boot. I had a choice to live permanently there, but I chose to stay in the Great White North. Why? Health care and not living in a culture of fear were good reasons.

Not to say that America doesn’t have great strengths. I just want to enjoy Canadian strengths. Hockey. Beer. To put a defining point on my beef, take a full college or university program on Canadian Film studies. The lack of funding for good Canadian content is a real sore spot with me.

Still, this ‘person’ chose to hammer this post and the About Me page on here, prior to writing this post about how we Canadians are ‘insecure about our southern neighbours’. Now, instead of defaming her on this site, just read all the comments to see what a nutjob she really is. My favourite bit though still is these two points.

1. I got banned! Woohoo! Break out the champagne! Cocktails! It’s been a while since someone has blacklisted me from their blog. And I’d thought I’d lost my touch!

2. ‘Apparently’, my ass was handed to me. ‘Apparently’, I’m pissed. News to me. Time for another celebratory drinky poo!

And finally, in sheer celebration, my latest bobblehead:

So, from Darth Stewie unto you Candy/Virgo Monkey/flavour of the week girl, I say to you this parting phrase:

If you can’t take a joke, don’t be one.

Now for your airlocking:

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

P.S. Grow my city’s industry.

No Sunlight Today

Arrive at work before the sun rises, leave after it sets… you know, if I didn’t actually drive for my job, I’d never see the sun until April or so. Not that the sun makes any appearences through the perpetual Vancouver rain clouds.

Which got me thinking about reality programming, funnily enough. Now for me, film school grad and classically educated man, thinks of one thing with reality. Documentary. And not Michael Moore style. Cinema verite. Watch 9-11 or Salesman to get what I mean.

But still, for ‘reality based’ series, there are a few winners. Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares (UK), and Hell’s Kitchen to name a few. But none top…

13 straight episodes of Kenny Hotz kicking the shit out of Spencer Nolan Rice, season 4 premiering tonight (in ten minutes, better hurry). Even our differently brained neighbours get the shows now (I think on Comedy Central, though I’m not sure and too lazy to Google it at the moment). Mind you, they’re further edited for language and offensive content, so the best they get is Kenny vs. Spenny light (which is akin to season 1, funnily enough).

As for an outside guess, I say Kenny takes an easy 10 competitions this year. But honestly, how much fight can you get from a punching bag anyway?

That is all.

The week that sure wasn’t

My Gods, I hate writer’s block. I gotta find a healthy fix for it before some big production hires me as a writer (mind you I have to find out how to crack that side of the industry yet). Yet there has been very little for inspiration around these parts. Corporate pressure to pay to go to their own Christmas party (I wonder if they just realize how Christian I ain’t). Loads of rain. Well, it is approaching winter. When payday is the only highlight, you know you need a change.

Luckily, yesterday I did notice something. Nothing terribly unusual, though it did stand out. I got a shelving unit at Ikea yesterday, though ran short on appropriate wall mounts for it. And with Rona just down the road, off I walked. Now for a little context. I live in Surrey. It has a reputation around these parts as being rough, crime ridden, and full of undesirables (including myself… bwahahahahah). And though the drug crime is the worst in Whalley, Newton (well at least the part of Newton I’m in) seems to have loads of hookers. In fact, some frequent our building, and one is on a corner of our block. Conveniently close to Rona, to boot. And she is far from being easy on the eyes.

Needless to say, I passed by her on my jaunt to get wall plugs. And as I did, a car pulled up beside her, and the two engaged in conversation. Not concerning myself, I went, made my purchase, and in the five minutes, she had left her corner, arguably with that same individual. It’s way closer than I’ve ever been to that type of ‘transaction’ before.

It brings me back to a conversation Dawn and I had a week or so back with the security guard in our building. So much shit goes on in our neighbourhood without our notice. And nothing like a little humdrum in the own life to make you look at what’s going on around you.

That is all.

The best of the small screen?

29.97 fps interlaced. 25 fps if you’re not in North America. Television. Tee Vee. The boob tube. The idiot box. Whatever you call it, it has entertained us for more than half a century. Now television has given us A LOT OF SHIT in terms of programming, but every now and then a real gem comes our way. And, in the culture of what is the best, of competition we live in, Time magazine has issued a list of The 100 Best TV Shows of All-TIME (found at MCF).

A lot of great shows are included. Twin Peaks. The X-Files. South Park. WKRP in Cincinnati. Battlestar Galactica. It’s always nice to see some of my all-time favourites make the list. However, with any of these lists, there are, in my viewpoint, some glaring omissions.

First off, how on earth does Beavis and Butthead get picked and Family Guy, the most brilliant animated comedic program miss the cut? Maybe it had to do with success factors. But list author James Poniewozik says in his video blog that it was more about character, narrative, and factors film and art students pine for. Bearing that in mind, how does a show with two teenage morons with the oral skills of a near orgasm three year old beat out a show that for the last seven years, even through cancellation and unprecidented renewal, puts the animated mainstay The Simpsons to absolute and utter shame? And yet, to rub salt into the same wound, Spongebob Squarepants also beats out the Griffins in this list. James, do you watch the show, or are you humour challenged?

A few other US productions would make my list over James’. China Beach, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Dead Like Me, Hell’s Kitchen, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Carnivale, Night Court, and Ren and Stimpy could easily top such fare from the list like American Idol, Arrested Development, The Cosby Show, Felicity, Friends, Gilmore Girls, Pee Wee’s Playhouse or The Real World. But this whole subject is opinion, and James is entitled to it. Just as I’m entitled to my opinion that his taste sucks, as do some of his picks.

Sadly though, as it should not surprise me at this point, is the sheer American tone to the programming. It almost feels that Monty Python’s Flying Circus and SCTV was put on the list to shut people like me up saying “hey, I watch international programmes.” Now both shows would most definitely make my list (if I were to submit my own), but if my guess is right, and dear James is ignorant of Canadian and British programming (as I’m appealing to the anglo audience tonight - sorry Quebec), I suggest the following fare and reconsider the list.

From Canada:

Kenny vs. Spenny
Trailer Park Boys
This Hour Has 22 Minutes
Royal Canadian Air Farce
The Red Green Show
Hockey Night in Canada
Ed the Sock
Da Vinci’s Inquest
The Beachcombers
Made in Canada
Corner Gas
Degrassi Junior High
History Bites
Kids in the Hall
The Nature of Things
The Frantics

And for the UK (and I know this is only a partial list skimming the surface):

Black Adder
Mr. Bean (cripes I can’t believe this didn’t make the US list)
Rainbow
Are You Being Served?
Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
The Avengers
Benny Hill
Fawlty Towers
Doctor Who
Coronation Street
EastEnders
Keeping Up Appearences

Doesn’t anyone look outside their own world anymore, or am I just a freak?

That is all.

Essentially

What is essential? As in day to day services provided both publically and privately? Well, as the current day job dictates, document storage and shredding is, though residential garbage collection isn’t. Yup, just in case you haven’t guessed from that intro, we have a city strike in Vancouver. Follow the previous link and you can link to a load of other articles around it. Simply put, the city wants the agreement to last past the Olympics, the workers want another CBA just before. And my comment to the City employees… Good on ya! We don’t know what the economy will be like post 2010, and don’t ever give that up.

But alas, this really is about the whole essential services argument. You see, my current slave driving organization employer, which is NOT the garbage collection part of the initial example, is within some definition somewhere, an ESSENTIAL SERVICE, also confirmed by my union local. For my employment purposes, this means I can cross a picket line to do my job, but management has another thing coming if they think I’m going to brave a rowdy picket line.

But garbage collection is not. And let’s amend that. Residential garbage collection is not. Commercial is still executed, though in a not quite full capacity. What a great bargaining point the union has. Use a city’s residents against the city when the odour becomes too much. But on the theory, business documents over peoples refuse definitely sends a message out to how much hard working people are appreciated these days.

Sadly, this is not the most glaring example of faulty prioritization. Id est, some other examples of services more of a priority than residential garbage service…

1. Parks, playing fields, tennis courts, trails, playgrounds, sport courts, beaches, skateboarding, restaurants (including the Shaughnessy Restaurant at VanDusen) concessions, gift shops and pay parking.
2. Horse drawn tours [at Stanley Park].
3. Park garbage collection.
4. Playhouse Theatre.
5. Cemetery burials for pre-sold graves only [better not die until after the strike].
6. Taxi and Liqueur licensing [as many city workers MUST be drinking excessively and needing a safe ride home].
7. Many different fine and civic tax collecting agencies.

Yes, feel priviledged that though your trash is rotting in the alley (or on the curb in some neighbourhoods), but you can experience the same smell, live from a horse drawn tour at Stanley Park. And if you’re headed that way… and the smell is that bad… take your trash. It’ll get picked up from there.

That is all.

AGW Top News Item of the Week v1.0

Now, admittedly, I do get brief hits of news from these two free Vancouver (well, there’s versions all across Canada admittedly, as well as America Jr.), as it’s simple to pick one up being on the road all day during the week. Now I do have to go on record and say at least 80% of the pages are filled with tripe like Lindsay Lohan’s latest binge, how 68 lb Nicole Richie is pregnant, how Paris Hilton is crying about her jail stint, and so on, and so on. Then I ran across this:

Vatican issues road ‘Commandments’.

What the duece? So I go home, and actually see articles about this online. From ‘reasonably’ reputable sources, and even propagandist sources like US news networks. Needless to say, it had risen above the levels of the tabloids. While I’m not 100% convinced this is for real, I do feel these 10 road commandments need to face my special attention, read wrath.

To wit:

1. You shall not kill.
Benedict, Benedict, Benedict. If I have to pay Coca-Cola money to have 8 visible frames in a documentary that has a pop can in it, as the Coca-Cola logo is a registered trademark, I only think it’s fair that someone comes out and sues your ass for direct and blatant plagiarism of your own holy texts. An eye for an eye.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
I agree with the no mortal harm thing (with the possible exception of village idiots who really want to tempt fate… and we have loads of those in Vancouver), I highly disagree with eating wafers of bread and drinking wine WHILE operating a motor vehicle. For the latter, consumption of alcohol mixed with driving a motor vehicle is considered to be a very bad way to safely drive. And to have that no mortal harm thing in tact, drinking and driving should be avoided.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
Very true. However, please ammend this one by adding opening your fucking eyes.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
Can’t really take the piss outta this one. Being in need of a boost, running out of petrol, needing a bit of friendly roadside assistance in an awkward spot sucks balls, and my hat is off to all those who help a friend in need.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
I wonder which heartfelt Christian gets to tell all the rich, power-hungry, and self-professed Christians out there that owing a blinged up Hummer or Lexus is now a mortal sin in the eyes of our incumbent Pope? I also wonder if teenage kids will now shag in their parents bedroom instead of the backseat of a car to avoid a one-way ticket to the fiery pits of hell?

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
See MADD, deal.org, and the like. Support your local chapter.

7. Support the families of accident victims.
I completely agree.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
Remember, bad driving is the work of Satan’s helpers, witches. So if they are guilty of their infractions, and are witches, made of wood, and they can float in water, as can a duck. So determining their guilt is easy. If they weigh the same as a duck, they are made of wood, and therefore a witch. Burn the guilty at the stake. But give them the opportunity to repent moments before they become alit.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
So kids, remember, slam on the brakes on the freeway to protect the rodent running across the road, and brace yourself for the 18-wheeler about to slam into your backside.

10. Feel responsible toward others.
Hey. It’s not my fault if someone in front of me slams on the brakes making me do the same. The responsibility is the party in front of me. Maybe this should be preceded by ‘take some fucking responsibility first’.

Benedict’s purpose is not without good intent. However, the practicum in his concept is far from flawless. As such, I have some ‘rules’ of my own.

To wit, the AGW rules of the road:

1. In all cases, Newton overrules ICBC .
2. Drive like you are NOT the only vehicle on the road.
3. Nothing makes anyone more important than anyone else (Dubya should take this to heart). Every driver has somewhere to get, and the road is a first come, first serve situation.
4. Use your fucking indicators ALL THE TIME.
5. Texting, playing Tetris, and talking on a mobile without a handsfree should not be done while operating a manual transmission vehicle.
6. Neither should any activity from 5 be done while operating a automatic transmission, large truck, motorcycle, scooter, or while being a pedestrian crossing an intersection.
7. Another for pedestrians: Do not stop in the middle of an intersection, spend 10 seconds digging up your iPod, and then scan through songs before proceeding, especially when cars are waiting to turn down the street you are crossing.
8. Yet another pedestrian one: Yes, you have right of way. However, watch your ass. Refer to number 1 if this doesn’t quite make sense yet.
9. Putting a sub-woofer in your vehicle to give more bass than anyone can know what to do with will not impress anyone, but rather reveals that your penis cannot be any longer than 2 inches erect.
10. Conversely, instead of hip-hop, listening to the following bands can only bring the correct emotional state to facilitate safe driving: System of a Down, Metallica, Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Rage Against the Machine, Killing Joke, Rob Zombie, and Jane’s Addiction.

That is all.

Euphomelogy Episode I

It’s rather annoying at times, working on the road as I do. I get great thoughts for posts, for stories, for scripts, but alas, while driving, very little means to convey them at a later moment. I really think it’s about time I get myself at least a dictaphone, if not a PDA (most PDA’s I’ve seen actually have a dictaphone to boot). Nonetheless, I get loads of ideas for blog posts, but yet very little hit cyberspace. And sharing a PC doesn’t help matters much either. But alas, the latter will be handled shortly, as my Mac will soon arrive (this week hopefully).

As such, the topics that come to mind as I try to formulate a blog post seem to be more work related. I feel like my humour will start to meld with Scott Adams shortly (I’m already leafing through Dilbert books lately as well). But as for this week, and for every week I do a work related (and hopefully somewhat humourous) post, which will be Euphemology.

Now fair enough, as far as I can surmise, Euphomelogy does not appear to be an Oxford standardised word. But bringing in an association with euphemism, I can only hope some of you may draw the comparative.

As to this week, I am but inspired by a friend who had given notice, having found a job he had been hoping for and spent the better part of a year applying for. This, sadly, is not his story. Rather, how this point was illustrated, in fact, begins my point. You see, when the subject was broached to the staff, it was handled politely, proactively, honestly, and direct to the point. Something that you would expect of any change of staff, especially one that thrives on a team environment. This news, though, allowed me to ponder back to other places of employment, and how they handled the subject.

When employees quit of their own free will, for whatever variety of reasons, management handles it openly. “[Insert name] will be leaving us as of [this date], and we wish he/she the best.” Where I see the surprise is when the employee leaves against his or her own will. Bluntly, when their employment is suddenly terminated, or they are fired. Management rarely, if ever, actually says the former employee was in fact fired.

They do, however, find many other ways to ‘cute up’ the termination. Downsized was a popular term from the 90’s. I also like “difference of values”, “mutual agreement”, “no longer a fit for us or them”, “promoted to customer”, and my favourite, “accepted an early retirement package” (at the tender age of 29). Nothing like an over abundance of politically correct terminology to declare why people don’t work there anymore.

Is it just me, or do we as soldiers, so to speak, in the employment world have to accept that people get fired from time to time at your place of work? By comparison, imagine you’re a soldier in the Army (or Navy or whichever branch) fighting in a war. One day, your CO comes to you to inform you you’re fellow soldier and close friend “involuntarily ceased respiratory function due to high velocity impact with a small, lead based projectile which was propelled by an explosive mechanism”. Wouldn’t you lose a lot of faith in your CO because he didn’t want to broach the subject of death with you? Not like death happens in a war or anything.

Sadly though, it’s the second conclusion I draw to which I find more disturbing. That the employer wants to “disguise” the actual act of firing, thus keeping their politically friendly image. To this course, I have to say to all the employers out there this simple question. Who the fuck do you think you’re fooling? I, as an employee, have to sign some bloody form saying that in order to quit, I must give at least two weeks in writing. I can’t just up and go one day as a one-off. All this cloak and dagger bullshit is a blatantly obvious neon sign advertising to everyone, that dude or dude-ette got fired, along with further advertising for the ATM, cigarettes, liquor, lottery tickets and the ATM. If they really quit, they’d be upfront. By simple deductive technique, it’s obvious the termination of employment was not voluntary from the employee perspective.

I think the sadder truth is that more and more people buy into this corporate dogmatic load of bollocks every year.

Doesn’t anyone think anymore?

That is all.

In regards to the Virginia Tech Massacre

First of all, before I go on my tangent, I would like to express my condolences to all of those affected (family, friends, acquaintances, and locals) by the recent tragedy of the shootings this past Monday at Virginia Tech. It is a rather sad state of affairs where environments dedicated to the betterment of humanity and society are not safe havens for learning, but are becoming much more dangerous grounds. Nobody should ever have to experience what happened last Monday, and it is happening with more frequency.

Now, as to the remainder of this post, I shall be dedicating it to my analysis as to the ROOT cause of why what happened has happened. In the wake of this tragedy, via surfing numerous sites, various “issues” surrounding the cause of this has been openly discussed. But, rest assured, I will not be discussing racial profiling nor gun control here. Besides, for those of us who watched Bowling for Columbine, and actually got the point, we know that the real issues go much deeper. There are issues at work that have a very strong and perverse affect on the human condition.

Rather, I would like to also point two other, well recognizable massacres first.

École Polytechnique massacre.
Columbine High School massacre.

What do they all have in common? They were shootings, all perpetrated by students. They were all done during classes. We could go on and on with similarities, contrasts and differences. But how about the obvious?

THEY ALL HAPPENED AT SCHOOLS. It seems a little obvious, but if you’re somewhere in my age range (mid-thirties) or older, growing up, this was completely unheard of. Our worst vice was underage drinking. And our class in high school was so organized that the Friday party had the designated drivers assigned one day in advance, and we had a frakking rotation to boot. But gun violence. Never. EVER.

I’d been thinking of words to say all week about this. I, for a change, didn’t want to be overtly political about it. Just down to what I think is the truth. Then it hit me. School. Quality of education. The impact of thought on the choices we do make. How much are kids being taught these days? How much does the budget cuts really affect the quality of education. And most importantly, maybe we need to have budget cuts to men playing girls armoured rugby in order to reinforce the humanities and arts.

In the not too distant past, I had the opportunity to return to school to get yet more paper to say I know far too much for my own good. What I really learned (asides from how to write, light, shoot, and cut) was quite frightening. Education, in my localized experience, has gone from teaching kids to think for themselves to a moneymaking enterprise in conspiracy with the insurance industry. Okay, maybe I’m a little over the top, but still…

WHAT, IF ANYTHING, ARE WE TEACHING OUR KIDS THESE DAYS?

Is the pen not mightier than the sword? If the actions of the US government are an indictment of this axiom, then yes, it is still true. They let random acts of violence go unpunished, but interrogate a grade school girl for posting sentiments wishing Dubya was dead on her MySpace. Yes, words are more powerful than bullets.

I think we need to be teaching our own children this, and maybe we can once again have constructive solution to our overtly human problems. But it starts with us. Teach your kids the pen is mightier than the sword.

This is an opinion, and not the ultimate answer. All I hope to achieve is to cut through the political crap and get to the nuts of the real problem. I’m sure we owe it to the victims, and their families and friends to put a stop to this ever disturbing trend.

That is all.