A pound of flesh

You know, with the lot of bollocks I’ve been involved with trying to convince the mentally challenged that smoking is bad, along with waiting for Mr. Harper to drop the ball on his political career, I’ve lost touch with that ’special’ neighbour to the south. And, by channel surfing past one of America’s propaganda networks, I saw America’s ditz, Ann Coulter, defending a point (this was in fact archive footage for another debate about her stance), which fit something to the following:

Jews needed to convert to Christians in order to be “perfected.”

What the fuck? Of course, with this being Coulter, you have to weigh in the standard question as to whether or not she is doing this for effect, or is it in fact the voice of the extreme right, most of whom know to keep their mouth shut in order to effect their less than equitable agenda? A reasonable transcript may be found here.

I came up with a number of ideas to approach this personally. Re-iterate the complete Pagan nature of Christianity. The Shylock references (as per the title). Even attacking Ann. But none felt convincing to me. What I’d rather do, is in response to Ann’s belief that Christianity is the fast track to heaven, make this one point. On the fast track to heaven, Christians, whose central message is love, understanding, and respect, have gone about it in the last two millenia, using the following methods:

Holy Crusades
The Spanish Inquisition
Persectution of Scientists
Rejection of Darwinism
Forced conversion of others at the point of a sword
Northern Ireland
The slaughter of Roman Pagan Priests (to whom a great deal of a Christian’s faith is based)
Witch hunts

And I don’t think I need to really bring up what happened in the last 100 years in the name of their lord. Fast track to heaven my ass.

That is all.

A picture is worth…

Well, I hope readers can finish the above. Less Todd, who seems to miss my point continuously.

To wit…

No surprise, even here in the Conservative west.

That is all.

It’s not my shtick… or is it schtick?

I always thought it was the latter. Though CBC likes using the previous spelling. Either way… seems ol’ Stephen Harper (cos he can be considered Canada’s ‘new government’ anymore) snubbed Bono at the G8 summit. He claimed he was ‘too busy’, and as well, it ‘wasn’t his schtick’.

Of course, the latter ’schtick’ comment really appears to be a snub of former Prime Minister Paul Martin, which only goes to prove his entire political platform really wasn’t based on trying to ‘one up’ the Liberal. No new ideas, or do old habits just die really hard?

But yet, it seems Harper backtracks himself when he realizes Bono actually wants to talk about AIDS in Africa. Now it seems he’ll talk to Bono after the summit.

AFTER the summit? So is talking to ‘celebrities’ (and in this rare case, celebrities that actually engage in activities that benefit the world, not the profit lines of tabloids) your schtick or not Harper? Where’s your accountability Stephen? Seems you can’t even be accountable to your word these days (not that we were buying your ‘new’ environmental stance anyway). You even went on to say you’re a big U2 fan (though I’m sure you’d look blank if I mentioned songs like Sunday Bloody Sunday) to suck up to the press.

One thing is for certain. Stephen is full of shit yet again. This is speculative though… is Stephen trying to get a private concert at 24 Sussex in his ploy?

That is all.

Bowling For A Golden World

Or: How I learned to stop thinking and start worrying.

You know, there’s been a lot of difference of opinion here on this blahg lately. Most specifically, this post. I make mention that I disagree with the idea that “responsible” adults should be allowed to carry concealed handguns on school campuses, and it becomes a pro-gun issue.

The whole thing boils back down to a heated exchange of words I had with this fellow, many moons ago, over the film Bowling for Columbine. He too felt the movie was nothing more than an anti-gun rally by NRA lifetime member Michael Moore. Rather, when one actually watches the film (as opposed to listening to the sentiment of pro-gun people who feel slighted), the best point the film makes is actually what is said by Marilyn Manson.

Michael Moore: Do you know that on the day of the Columbine massacre, the US dropped more bombs on Kosovo than any other day?

Marilyn Manson: I do know that, and I think that’s really ironic, that nobody said ‘well maybe the President had an influence on this violent behavior’ Because that’s not the way the media wants to take it and spin it, and turn it into fear, because then you’re watching television, you’re watching the news, you’re being pumped full of fear, there’s floods, there’s AIDS, there’s murder, cut to commercial, buy the Acura, buy the Colgate, if you have bad breath they’re not going to talk to you, if you have pimples, the girl’s not going to fuck you, and it’s just this campaign of fear, and consumption, and that’s what I think it’s all based on, the whole idea of ‘keep everyone afraid, and they’ll consume.’

Much in the same way we look at shootings and say it revolves around gun control, how industrial emissions are only about greenhouse gases, how Iraq was about nukes, people have really lost focus of what is really going on. Myself, I find myself transported back 20 years into the past. The days of school dances, awkwardness around the opposite sex, reading loads of ‘classic’ literature in English class and studying the symbolism of a cornfield in Saskatchewan, overgrown young men playing rugby with the crutch of armour and deceptively trying to pass it off as football, hockey debates at lunch, getting your first car, and on, and on, and on. Yes, high school was such a wonderful, awkward, scary time.

But in thinking back, we never had gun problems. None in school. We were presented, however, with the sheer horror of what happened at École Polytechnique de Montréal. And in the wake of the shootings, I think if someone suggested having concealed weapons in schools as a discourse, we would ALL have thought that said individual needed to seriously re-think the idea. But yet, in today’s world, it is now an idea that is warranting serious discussion.

Why? I’m sure one who supports the idea of allowing concealed arms in schools will argue “it’s a different world”. And they are bang on the money. Having the opportunity to go back to school after a hiatus, I learned something rather disturbing. The quality of education has slid drastically. I went to film school with kids who could barely spell (save for spell check), who wrote essays by cut and paste from online articles, who did not know what a bibliography was, did not know what the word ibid meant, how to do footnotes (or endnotes, as I hated re-formatting when I made changes in my essays), how to structure an essay, how to divide or multiply by 100 without the aid of a calculator, understand basic additive and subtractive colour theory (bearing in mind they were in a visual program like film). When I was growing up, these kids wouldn’t have even been close to getting their high school diploma. We suffer from a high level of apathy in the way we (as a whole) approach the education of our own children.

So the idea is to put such neutral-geared minds behind the trigger of weapons to keep the peace? If this is the ultimate solution down south, I do have a suggestion to keep shootings to a minimum. Borrowed from Chris Rock, we should make each bullet cost $5,000. Why? Because people will have to think before they pull the trigger. Is this shot worth $5,000? Because frankly, unless money isn’t involved these days, most brains are now in permanent neutral gear.

Luckily, I live north of 49. That is all.

Why I’m glad that I live north of 49

Reason #1: Canadians don’t believe the solution to the epidemic of campus shootings is found through legalizing concealed weapons on campus.

People in South Carolina seem to have a different opinion on the matter. Frightening. South Carolina is suddenly becoming an example of Hanlon’s Razor:

“Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”

That is all. Oh Canada!

It’s official: the Conservative mentality is officially derived from school playgrounds

But before we get to that, I would like to get a little personal for a moment. Two and a half years ago, I quit smoking. But easy breathing did not soon follow. For the following six months, I still coughed, felt chest tighness, and irritation. Something was up. But, for a completely different reason, Dawn and I packed our things, got in the car and drove 4,500 km west to Beautiful British Columbia. And something happened, actually, just outside of Revelstoke. We made one of the great many touristy stops through the Rockies, and I breathed in the naturally pine scented air. And for the first time since well before starting smoking, I breathed easily. I have never, ever had any issues with my breathing passages since, and enjoy a level of fitness unparalleled in my life.

Now obviously to ignore my smoker’s past to the effect on my lungs would be an act in the order of brain malfunction. I actually think Scott Adams would refer to this as inability to understand that some things have multiple causes. (Editor’s note: a list of brain malfunctions may be found here along with a form to submit to various colleagues/acquaintances/pundits to illustrate their deficiencies in thought). But alas, breathing very fresh air helped my lungs out greatly after quitting.

Now bearing in mind that Vancouver’s air quality index is substantially better than Toronto’s (my former prison), it becomes fairly easy to see alternate motivation toward reducing industrial and automotive pollution. And for the not so quick witted, it’s actually having clean air. All the arguing about whether or not the greenhouse effect is actually occurring or if it’s just a misinterpretation of data, one thing is true. It is far from just CO₂ coming out of those exhaust pipes. CO₂ is odourless. And if you sniff the exhaust from your tailpipe, I’m sure you’ll find quickly that ain’t odourless. So yes, I’m all for keeping air quality cleaner, and for eating naturally grown foods, and living in at least some form of balance.

Which brings us to today. Lately, our incompetent wonderful Conservative government is working on a plan to ‘try’ to meet Kyoto targets and make a real stance on climate change. Of course the key here is the word try. Try a google search. The best real steps outlined was the ban, in Ontario, of sale of incandescent light bulbs by 2012. Kinoflo must be rolling around in giddy fits of joy in response to this. Aside from this one major step in the province that thinks it’s the world, the best I could gauge from a Google search was surtaxes to Automotive and Refrigerator sales. The party’s own website was just as vague as all the press online. Just check this, this, and this. Obviously no real plan, just quoting the dogmatic ‘reduction by this date’ nonsense ALL politicians give us. But this just feels like a knee-jerk reaction to the pressure from the ever green feel of new Liberal leader, Stephane Dion.

You know what kills me about the whole lot of nonsense the Conservatives are still spewing? Read a few of those articles. They don’t intend to do anything until emissions stop rising! Nothing like talking right out of your ass, huh?

To take the cake, ‘Environment Minister’ John Baird took flak from David Suzuki and Al Gore (who was visiting Toronto promoting his Oscar winning film), to which both parties received the same rebuttal. “… This is more action than any government in Canadian history has ever taken.”

Well John, I know you are, but what am I? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Gawd, your rebuttal fits in just nicely with schoolyard nonsensary. How about admitting the truth? You and your government are going to hide behind the ‘not until emissions cease to increase’ clause of your environmental platform. So a childish argument that ‘we did it first’ is their whole justification for a bogus emissions reduction plan? Let’s face it, the Conservatives and their ‘government’ is a ship that is sinking fast, grasping at straws to try to stay afloat. I am thankful that enough of the Canadian electorate is smart enough to see through the smokescreen, a diametric opposite to our neighbours to the south.

Somebody call an election already. Okay, enough opposition MP’s vote against the tripe Harper is trying to pass in the House of Commons.

That is all.

Airing of Grievances

As many of you I’m sure remember, I wrote this post, this time last year, suggesting we celebrate a more secular holiday, Festivus. Okay, maybe some of you. Maybe one or two. I really can’t remember, as switching from Blogger to WordPress, and using Haloscan for comments, I lost a load of comments in the shift. Bollocks.

Anyhow, seeing as I have no Festivus Miracles to report, and the Feats of Strength are too hard to post via text, I shall just reserve this category for the Airing of Grievances.

First, to all the shitty drivers here in the lower mainland. And you know who you are. You suck. Big smelly rocks to boot. I swear, it seems as though you got your driver’s licence from a box of cracker jacks. You all give one thing Toronto actually bests Vancouver at. Traffic conditions. ICBC should make everyone retake their driving tests, and jack up the standards. We could use a good half of the cars off the road.

Second, to “Prime Minister” Stephen Harper. You are two-faced, lying, Conservative scum and you know it. Does any of this sound familiar?

I will lower taxes (by raising taxes for the lowest bracket… nothing like walking on the backs of the poor).

I will not tax income trusts (by taxing income trusts anyway).

I will defend ALL of Canada (by fueling Québec’s fire to separate).

I am Canadian (by trying to change Canada’s Parliamentary system to resemble American Congress. If you don’t like it here, move south).

But it shouldn’t be surprising. The idiot considers himself a part of the Leafs Nation. I can’t say there’s a good mind in that whole lot.

Third, Dubya. But what is there to say that hasn’t been said? You’re an ignoramus, illiterate, a lying piece of pond scum, and you and you’re cabinets private interests profited heavily during your side-war in Iraq. Kim Jong-Il was a bigger threat even in 2003. Somebody should really find all of your skeletons from your presidency already.

Lastly, the right wing mentality that science is wrong. And surprisingly, I’m not on about Christians rejection of the factual evidence in proof of Darwin, instead clinging to mystical belief. Rather, I’m on about Les Sayer. He actually argues that a diet of McDonalds is perfectly healthy, provided that it is accompanied by exercise. You can read about it here. And I actually know people who have read and seen his work who firmly believe McDonalds is healthy. For fuck sakes, when I was five, I knew it was bad for you. It is highly processed and highly filled with sugar to addict you. Why on earth would anyone try to addict you to things that are good for you? And for all you twats who seem to think otherwise, give your fucking head a shake. I’m just waiting for you lot to say smoking is good for you, like it’s candy for your lungs. Gits.

Other than that, happy [belated] Festivus.

That is all.

What a strange year it has been

I was meaning to make this post yesterday, and have been meaning to post more, but sitting here with perennial dial-up, waiting longer than necessary for my high speed modem to arrive, it is very de-motivating in the efforts to actually string a few words, sentences, and paragraphs together. And our power outages haven’t helped any. Not that we had one in our home, just that they make commutes unbearable. For the modem, it turns out Uniserve was less than honest with me about the details of my service, and they want me to fax an unsolicited voided cheque to them before they deliver my modem. Well, I have three words for Uniserve:

FUCK THAT OFF!

As such, my favourite telecom company, Telus, will now be my phone and mobile company, internet, and television provider. Nothing like reducing the number of bills in the house.

Well, anyway, rant over. Well, that rant is over. It seems, according to Time Magazine, I am the 2006 Person of the Year. And so are you. And so is anyone else who can read this it would seem. And Bush once again does not get the nod. Not only can he not use this technology, it is still above his cognitive abilities to read or write.

In Canada, politically anyhow, the Conservatives finally edged the Liberals and formed a minority government. They gave generous tax cuts to the rich, reduced the GST, and strengthened the military. Sadly, they said fuck you to the Kyoto Accord, raised taxes for the lowest income bracket, lied to Canadians and started taxing income trusts, tried and failed to open up the same-sex marriage debate in hopes to recriminalize it, and giving Quebec more fuel to their fire of seperating from Canada, just to name a few anti-Canadian gaffes by the douchebag, Mr. Stephen “I LIKE young boys” Harper. And you know, if I lived in the US and made a similar disparaging remark against the Fuhrer Dubya, I’m sure I’d be arrested by the FBI by now and enduring days, or perhaps months of sheer interrogation. Thankfully, I live in the country that has the most personal freedoms on earth. Canada.

The worst mistake I made this year was working for Best Buy, aka electronics retail hell. While it may be a worthwhile job for a student going through school, to earn a little extra money, it was by absolutely NO means a reasonable way to make a living. It did however, open my eyes to the vicious reality of the business world in the 21^st century. And that reality? Companies nowadays are nothing more than legalized slavery and prostitution rings, that show little to no interest in the welfare of their employees. Ten years ago I’d never thought I’d say this, but I am very grateful for the existance of unions. It is the one body, at least here, that will actually look out for employee interests.

The Canucks? We had a shot of making some playoff noise last season, fucked it up, and now are on the 14 year rebuilding plan. I just hope we can develop before Luongo’s contract is up and he heads elsewhere.

Liverpool? We won the FA cup, and started the new season like always… losing enough matches so we have to fight for third in the Premiership. Again. Grrr.

As for the film world, work was slow this year. Really slow. Though hopefully, this winter and spring, I can work towards a few goals. One, actually direct and shoot SOMETHING, whether it be documentary or a short film. I intend to stay focused on writing, as I have an idea for a television series on the go also. I also intend to finally, FINALLY get my Mac, as so that I can pursue my true non-directorial film pursuit. Editing.

Finally, I would like to thank Dawn, Mom and Dad, Aunt Jan, Jana, Sherry, Dawn’s parents, Claudia, and Angel for their birthday wishes. Though I have to say I hate getting old. I know, I do keep young at heart, but your joints tend to put up a hell of an argument to the thinking young concept.

That is all.

An early Christmas present for Harper

Well, well, well. Looks like the personality challenged leader of ours may be in receipt of an early Christmas present. And all at the expense of Conservative ignorance once again. It seemed on the outside that the Conservative’s motion to recognize Québec as a nation within a nation as a contradiction of value yet a strategic political move to enlist the support of the Bloc Québécois to support whatever radical, right wing agenda the morons try to pass through the House of Commons. Though the move seemed cunning and sly, to prevent any Liberal momentum from being fostered, I can point out three serious flaws in Haper’s logic.

First off, the Bloc truly stands about one thing. Seperation and becoming the nation of Québec. Of course Harper’s little modification of the Bloc’s original idea by adding “within Canada” still perceptually is a step closer to the Bloc’s ultimate goal. Strike one.

Secondly, the Bloc’s new allegiance to Harper cannot even withstand what the religious belief of many Bloc MP’s command them. Last week, Harper’s motion to re-open the same-sex marriage debate was shot down, with strong oppostion from the Bloc, mostly Roman Catholic, who politically fully support the notion of same-sex marriage. You can’t pick and choose your freedoms Stephen. Strike two.

Thirdly, Harper looks poised to table an extension to our strongly offensive stance in Afghanistan, which appears to strongly overlook a rebuilding effort. Here’s the lesson Stephen. We don’t want to be American. Our military is a peacekeeping force, not a schoolyard bully like our differently brained neighbours. Also, Québecers really don’t like the idea of fighting for the English. Maybe you Conservative nutjobs might do well by Googling “Je me souviens” and learning a little about Québec. You’ve definitely picked strange bedfellows. And remember:

If the mandate isn’t changed, Duceppe promises to table a vote of no confidence.

Ahh, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… and a Liberal new year.

That is all.

Just when you think you have severe writer’s block

Inspiration hits. Just by merely surfing over to friends blahgs. Or should that be spelled blogs. I prefer the phonetic spelling. Oh wait, I should stop rambling now.

Anyhow, BlogLily put up this post two days back, looking at the biographical analytical styles of Lytton Strachey and Jon Stewart. To delve into the comparison, I admit, I will have to read more Strachey to form a better viewpoint. However, something about the post took this assortment of thoughts I had from being a clever comment to either a gigantic comment which could very well tap a great deal of BlogLily’s bandwidth, or could actually be considered a post of it’s own. That something?

One wonders: if Jon Stewart had different subjects with which to work, might he be able to rise above the eyebrow and really exploit his talent for wit, as Strachey did?

A very fair question. What would Jon Stewart’s wit yield with subjects not stricken with “banal and tragic incompetence?” I’m sure Stewart could focus his attention on figures such as Washington, Lincoln, and FDR, and though we’d have a better perception of that answer, I would also like to point out Stewart’s ratings would probably slide on a tragic level on par with the tragic level of Bush’s incompentence.

Which brings about the same argument that happens in film schools across the planet. Where is the fine line between art and entertainment? We all went through school with a concept of some film we had, to which was our highest level of artistic expression. But the tragedy of the reality and economics of filmmaking soon dawns upon us. Very few people, outside of the arthouse cinema crowd, will actually watch the film. The actual box office take of our film will not be substantial enough to justify it’s high cost of production. As a result, we must discipline ourselves to integrate an entertainment factor to offset production costs.

As such, satirists such as Stewart must maintain focus on benign, current media figures, ripping holes and humour in the results of their sheer incompetence.

Though Stewart’s approach is a smart approach, appealing to intellect as opposed to the lowest common denominator, I still think it’s a sad state of affairs, that we as a people spend more time obsessing in the gossipy, fifteen minutes of fame world, rather than people actually making a difference. To wit, it would be saying people care more about Britney Spears getting knocked up after a drunken one night stand with a homeless bum rather than learning medical science found a cure to AIDS.

Now maybe I’ve lived a sheltered life, but I certainly can’t remember things being this way all of my life. It seems that society has regressed to a stage of near idle brain activity. To this, I still have but one true target. Our stance on education. Every time I bring up education, it seems some conservative pundit complains that those overpriced teachers aren’t doing their jobs. Well I say this. What are you doing to educate your family? To bring the intellectual quotient of you, your family, and your peers up? I know, in my formative years, my grandparents fostered serious skill and passions in science, mathematics, language, photography, and the arts in me. My parents fostered a sense of self worth, a rigid health regimine, athletics, and ethics. All at competencies unmatched in my educational environment (to which I feel are superior to those our children now are being taught within). Parents don’t care, and now children don’t care about those things that matter.

Is it any wonder the state of politics is where it is? Even Britney Spears gave some advice on the relationship between the President and it’s people:

“I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens.”

Wow. Nothing like renouncing the democratic process. The funny thing? Children will listen to Spears far more often than their parents, who more and more appear they couldn’t give a rats ass. What a sad state of affairs things are coming to. It is time for change.

That is all.