A Legend (in a manner of speaking) hangs them up

John Madden has decided to call it quits today as a broadcaster, drawing to a close forty years in football, as both a coach and a broadcaster. Though I didn’t always agree with his viewpoint, there has to be something to be said about his longevity and popularity.

What I do have to ask is this. Who now will be able to point out the exceedingly obvious with such panache?

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Why I just continue to love Blake Price over Jim Rome

Dear TEAM 1040.

Being a Vancouverite, I would like to thank you for relegating Jim Rome to a ‘floating’ evening timeslot. I am sick of hearing sportscasts that pertain to anything except the Vancouver Canucks, Vancouver Giants, or BC Lions.

On a day that featured no real news, being that Mike Gillis did not make any trades at the deadline, I applaud Blake Price for avoiding a non-Vancouver story like T.O. Being released by the Cowboys. Instead, I felt far more entertained by two sportscasters with no relevant copy, engaging in a three hour PMS fest about the rip-off artists known as Ticketmaster.

Bravo. Ripping T.O. would be far more entertaining, and if I want a festival embracing P.M.S. I think I’ll either piss off my better half at that time of the month, or opt for a voluntary lobotomy first.

TEAM 1040, admit you massively fucked up, don’t listen to your audience, and be entertaining again by bringing Rome back to his usual timeslot.

Blake Price, why don’t you just disappear already.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Frak the sports media…

To start this onslaught, I present to you the following rant from Canada’s [ahem] Second Greatest Living Canadian:

I can’t say this outburst surprises me. And before going there, I do have to say, in general, short of certain subtleties (and suit choices), I tend to agree with Cherry’s slant about hockey. I fully agree fighting is a part of the game and should be encouraged, if to serve as part of the entertainment along with lessening more serious injury caused via stickwork. But this rip on Ovechkin is nothing more than bias. Consider it this way.

Turn on sports news. Sports radio. Especially hockey. Especially now, considering how close we are to the trade deadline, and the frenzy final few hours prior to. With the addition post lockout of the salary cap, the subtext of almost every trade is money money money. Clearing cap space. Is this player worth that much. Rental or keeper? Resignable after this season? Dollars dollars dollars are in the forefront of the hockey talk for the next three days. And therein lies the rub.

With the complexities of a cap based revenue system in the sport of hockey, the true evil of greed sometimes can get lost in the mix of the bigger, team picture. For example, Alexei Kovalev, of my beloved Habs. Never have I seen such an indifferent shithead of a player. No real passion for the game. It is clearly evident that he is all about the Benjamins, and nothing else. The same could be said about Scott Gomez and Chris Drury, amongst others.

Now enter Ovechkin. Cherry says his antics are uncalled for. It’s over the top ‘entertainment’. I say this. Any serious in depth report on Ovechkin proves one thing. The kid just LOVES to play. He has pure passion for the game. Maybe, Don, just maybe, the ‘antics’ are not showmanship directed towards the fans. Perhaps it could be a genuine expression of his joy. In a game filled with money driven sell outs, I find a player like Ovechkin refreshing. Cherry, I fear you lost perspective a long time ago. Fuck me, your commentary, as your broadcast location, is Toronto-centric. Having been in America Jr. for quite some time in my life, two things are constant. First, the hockey is shit. Secondly, the environment, media, fan and team for hockey is not amped up like a contender. It’s more like a relaxed country club. And Don, you and your comments fit right in. Is it any reason Toronto is so horrible? They are geared much more for April golf, not the playoffs.

Still, it could be worse. Here, in every rainy Vancouver (okay, this winter has been unseasonably dry, but generally it rains) we’ve had to endure weeks of speculation as to whether or not Ohlund will waive his no trade clause. Can we re-sign the Twins? And now today, will we offer up Alex Burrows as trade bait (which, in not only my but every other Vancouverite’s opinion is an idea spawned from a Hastings and Main crack addict)? It gets tiresome. January was lynch Vinnie Vigneault month, as the Sundin signing was looking like a flop. February was Vigneault is a genius for putting Kesler with Sundin and Demitra and Burrows with the twins. And our sportscasters talk about nothing else. 21 hours a day (if you’re even more a vampire and night owl than myself) of the same, repetitive story. Just 9 AM to 12 PM as a break. Thank you Jim Rome for adding variety. Can’t Rick Ball talk about NCAA Hoops? Can’t Scott Rintoul stop being a pint sized geek and talk Major League Baseball? Fuck, we do have a former AL MVP from our parts (Justin Morneau). Rome definitely covered a more diverse athletic spectrum than our home grown ‘talent’.

Well, now Rome has been relegated to ‘another time slot’ that Team 1040 has not decided to announce (which probably means late night). All in the effort to ‘give us more Canuck hockey coverage that we asked for’. I don’t know about anyone else, but I asked for less. FAR LESS Canuck coverage, if what constitutes coverage is regurgitating the same two minute story ad naseum for 21 straight hours per day. Now we have Blake Price and Dave Tomlinson repeating the same, homogeonized stories in the time I’d rather hear Rome rip ‘John from Kansas’ or some other clone or clone wannabe. Hell, if the Team wanted some research, it almost seems the majority of Rome’s emails come from Vancouver. Listen and count.

Fact is, I bet the Team 1040 are ultimately appalled by one aspect of Rome’s broadcast. He speaks his mind, and bows to no specific authoritative power. No network mandate, no FCC bylaw. He lays the smack, and frankly, he tells it how he sees it. No other personality on the Team 1040 does that. And maybe there’s the rub. Where Cherry, the former Bruin coach and later supporter has turned coat to be a closet Leaf fan (among other closet habits he may or may not have come clean with yet), Rome won’t change his spots for the good of big business broadcasting. Though in Vancouver, it means he has a right shitty timeslot. One I will probably take a few weeks to figure out. But as for the Team, I can genuinely say this. I, along with all the Rome fans in Van will NEVER, EVER listen again between 9-12 until you fix this atrocity.

Yes Team 1040, you have been BLOCKED!

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Fuck you shit scum!

No need for other words than Liverpool 2-1 Man United, and this:

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

What gives more indigestion… Maple Leaf Meat products, or the Maple Leafs?

I think it’s fortuitous that I’m off this week. Ironic that it still took me over twenty four hours to pull my ass off of the sofa with a thought long enough to poke at some keys and make this post, but meh, I need the break from the physical grind of slavery otherwise known as work. Fortuitous in the sense that when I’m at work, for convenience sake, I have sandwiches with deli meat. Gods, when will they ever devise a microwave for a five-ton so I can reheat my meals dammit! Still, for us ‘deli meat’ eaters, we’ve had to deal with this. Mmmm. Sweet Listeria monocytogenes. Well, I can handle pasta all week. Even with crappy store bought sauce.

The initial plan was to be away. Then $1.50 per litre happened. Not really feasible with my not-so reliable car. Bah. And with a potentially very rainy week, the idiot box is the main source of entertainment. But in all reality, I hate television in the summer. Everything’s a repeat (not that the vast majority of programs are shit). And if it weren’t for the Olympics, the only sporting fare for most of the summer is Baseball. I used to be more passionate about Baseball. Now I just follow the standings until September, and then start watching, so long as it doesn’t interfere with anything else. But to watch a regular season game now is the equivalent for me to watching Darts or Competitive Snooker.

But we did have the Olympics. Just finished in time for it to NOT be on for the week off. Rather, in terms of the Olympics, I got to hear Jim Rome slam the Canadian Olympians for having an 0 for in the first week of Olympic competition. How we’re the embarassment of the G8 by being the only nation uncompetitive in the games. It was good to see the local personalities on Team 1040 comment back and stick up for the Great White North. Though with the call ins, the defense of our great nation turned into a dick fight about how to fix the problem.

And it’s the solutions the proletariat come up with that start to identify the problem. People will call in constantly and call for more money. We just need to pump more money into better facilities and the problem will just go away. And in that answer, the problem is inherent. We just don’t care. Put it in perspective. An Olympic champion just doesn’t all of a sudden wake up at age 18 and say ‘I want to be a 100m track champion.’ Those who succeed start young. Very young. Building a world class facility does not make up for that 13 year gap.

And to boot, let’s look at this. To be a runner, does one really need that world class facility? We have roads. We have tracks at schools. Weight machines all over. To be a swimmer, can’t we start in our local pools? Other athletics? Football? Diving? Cycling? Obviously what is missing here is passion and leadership, not facility. We need to give a shit about more than just hockey. Fuck me, do we ever care about hockey. The attitude is right there. Gold or bust. It is a slam against our national character if we can’t beat every other country at the game WE made. We need to care. We need a system that grooms athletes for other sports at an earlier age.

Still, having said that, we got 18 medals, finishing 19^th by Gold medal count, and tied for 14^th by overall medal count. As a whole, our best showing since 1996. And if you look at it this way, if we did as well in the first week of competition, we’d have shown 36 medals, for 8^th place overall in medal count. What was really funny though was Rome just happened to be on vacation the week Canada did well. Coincidence?

Still, all of this gave us something to talk about for two weeks. For the six weeks prior to it, all we heard was Sundin, Sundin, Sundin. Where will he go? The ‘Nucks offered $20 million for two seasons, which he balked at. Nearly two months later, and nothing. The latest rumour is that the New York Rangers are the front runner, though they can’t offer him even close to Vancouver’s money.

But the Rangers effectively lost Jagr to get Naslund. Gave up a two cup captain for a zero cup captain. If this is Mats’ team of choice, I wonder. Wonder if he’s going there to win a cup. Avery-less, I don’t see the Rangers doing much more than making the playoffs, as the roads will this year once again in the east probably will go through Montreal and Pittsburgh. Has Mats played for the Leafs long enough to suffer permanent brain damage?

Or have Canuck fans, some of whom still believe Mats is coming here, believe a Leaf will not only come here, but will take a mediocre at best Canucks squad and lead them to the promised land? Here’s a hint. No matter what Mats decides, come April ‘09, his hockey desires will take a back seat to hitting the links, whether or not his team of choice is in the post season.

Leaf Damage, or Maple Leaf listeriosis, you decide.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

A message to all scum…

In response to one of my earlier anti-United bias posts, some scum posted this:

“When? I ask when? liverpool are never ever going to win the FA Premier League!! ManUnited<3 = 9 TIMES!!!!!”

Now, just to kill the Todd factor, yes, I’m aware this may be some high end diversionary tactic for spam, though only a plausable email was left, and a non-website. As such, being the aspiring editor I am (okay it’s film, but hey) I edited his website to read the new address for what is formerly http://ihateronaldo.com. But to be honest, this reply seems consistent with the typical anti-scouse attack these gits who aren’t even from Manchester can muster.

Yes, you can expect similar levels of educated response when attacking Leaf or Red Sox fans about their teams. True, Man U has been dominant mopping up against teams in relegation from the Premier League, but they fall short in Europe. Maybe those scum are so short sited to realize there are internationals short of the Euros and World cup play. Maybe there’s just too much shit from the ugly likes of Rooney, Ronaldo, and the dead spare of Herman Munster, Gary Neville. And you know what we should do with shit…

That is all.

Nearly daily trivia v1.something or other

This falls in the holy shit faze… well, for Canuck fans and the like. For brain dead Leaf fans, solving this will be one boring Google search.

As such…

Name all Vancouver Canucks jerseys that Trevor Linden has NOT worn on ice for gameplay. Dawn, you’re excluded from hint giving or answer telling.

That is all.

A movie made after my own heart

Manchester United
Boston Red Sox
Toronto Maple Leafs

What do these three things bear in common? Well, simply put, they are the three sport franchises I hate more than any. And when I say hate, I really mean HATE. And I’m not an overtly violent person. But these three teams, more than any other force, bring out the worst in my character. I want to see them lose. BADLY.

But which is the worst of all? Man U is the scum of the earth. The Red Sox are bitter division rivals (yup, I’m a Yankee fan ). But alas, when the question is put forth, it is the Make Me Laughs that burn the fires of hate in my soul more than the lot.

But why would a perennial cellar dwelling team be my all time hatred? Should I not feel pity for such incompetence? I mean, put it this way. Man U wins so much it’s sickening, but yet I don’t feel gutted inside if they win the Premiership or the FA. I thought if the Red Sox were ever to win the World Series again it would devastate me, but alas, I dealt with it. But I know, with every ounce of my soul, that if the Leafs ever did, it would be the seventh sign for me. And you know what, it isn’t just about my Montreal roots, either.

I hate Toronto. The city. The state of mind. Hell, the Jays winning the World Series made me vomit (and funnily enough, not from the high volume of CH₃CH₂OH I consumed either). I truly hate the city. It is the anti-me. To wit:

Toronto is the home to the CN Tower. The world’s largest phallus. And every time I think of that erection, I’m reminded of Psychology 101 at Queen’s University. Men who play with long, hard things consistently are usually trying to compensate for their “lack of manhood”, of which all males from Toronto are seriously lacking.

Many anglophonic refugees from Quebec fled to Toronto in the height of the tyranny of one Rene Levesque. Bill 101 drove anglos from Montreal faster than Ex-Lax removes stool from the colon. But said ex-patriots of Quebec soon lost their love for the Habs, and in turn, joined the Borg and became Make Me Laugh fans. And I thought certain elements of Christianity were incredibly disturbing.

Torontonians make themselves to be top calibre hockey fans, when in fact they are just Make Me Laugh fans. And poor ones at that. They deliberately cheer teams that play against any Canadian team once they are ousted from the playoffs, but more disturbing, during the lockout, while the rest of the country showed unprecidented support for the CHL, Leaf fans whinged, moaned, whined, complained, and generally threw temper tantrums like a four year old because ‘hockey had gone’. What a bunch of gits.

Occasionally, my friends from the east inquire as to if I’d move back, to which I utter a resounding HELL FUCKING NO! I hate Toronto. Well, now it seems, I’m not the only one vocal about it. There is a documentary now outlining the hatred for all things T Dot. And, not at all surprising, the city that hates Toronto the most is our dear, wonderful Vancouver. There is no wonder why I feel like this is really my home. And the sweet irony of this all is the film is making it’s premier at the Hot Docs film festival, in Toronto.

I love it when karma is a bitch.

That is all.

Those money grubbing bastards can all go to hell.

Though I’ve posted the brilliant Jim Broadbent video already, I feel the need to spread my hatred of all things Manchester United. An injury time 1-0 victory over Liverpool at Anfield. Bahh! As such, this is the next closest I’ve found:

Die Man U die!

That is all.

The big football game this weekend…

… really was disappointing. Not that I saw it (not having cable hooked up has that effect). It wasn’t even that high scoring.

Well, it wasn’t high scoring at all.

In fact, there was no score in the game at all. But alas, who these days has the bollocks to get up at 4AM to watch a football match anyway.

Needless to say, Liverpool and Everton drew 0-0. Not even this guy

could put the ball in the net. Meh.

In related news, a bunch of steroid-using Americans played their championship of their own ‘brand’ of football, which is really just a pussified version of rugby (because the ladies who play have to wear armour). Didn’t even register as a blip on my radar. It might if the NFL actually decides to call their game soccer.

That is all.