A message to all scum…

In response to one of my earlier anti-United bias posts, some scum posted this:

“When? I ask when? liverpool are never ever going to win the FA Premier League!! ManUnited<3 = 9 TIMES!!!!!”

Now, just to kill the Todd factor, yes, I’m aware this may be some high end diversionary tactic for spam, though only a plausable email was left, and a non-website. As such, being the aspiring editor I am (okay it’s film, but hey) I edited his website to read the new address for what is formerly http://ihateronaldo.com. But to be honest, this reply seems consistent with the typical anti-scouse attack these gits who aren’t even from Manchester can muster.

Yes, you can expect similar levels of educated response when attacking Leaf or Red Sox fans about their teams. True, Man U has been dominant mopping up against teams in relegation from the Premier League, but they fall short in Europe. Maybe those scum are so short sited to realize there are internationals short of the Euros and World cup play. Maybe there’s just too much shit from the ugly likes of Rooney, Ronaldo, and the dead spare of Herman Munster, Gary Neville. And you know what we should do with shit…

That is all.

Nearly daily trivia v1.something or other

This falls in the holy shit faze… well, for Canuck fans and the like. For brain dead Leaf fans, solving this will be one boring Google search.

As such…

Name all Vancouver Canucks jerseys that Trevor Linden has NOT worn on ice for gameplay. Dawn, you’re excluded from hint giving or answer telling.

That is all.

A movie made after my own heart

Manchester United
Boston Red Sox
Toronto Maple Leafs

What do these three things bear in common? Well, simply put, they are the three sport franchises I hate more than any. And when I say hate, I really mean HATE. And I’m not an overtly violent person. But these three teams, more than any other force, bring out the worst in my character. I want to see them lose. BADLY.

But which is the worst of all? Man U is the scum of the earth. The Red Sox are bitter division rivals (yup, I’m a Yankee fan ). But alas, when the question is put forth, it is the Make Me Laughs that burn the fires of hate in my soul more than the lot.

But why would a perennial cellar dwelling team be my all time hatred? Should I not feel pity for such incompetence? I mean, put it this way. Man U wins so much it’s sickening, but yet I don’t feel gutted inside if they win the Premiership or the FA. I thought if the Red Sox were ever to win the World Series again it would devastate me, but alas, I dealt with it. But I know, with every ounce of my soul, that if the Leafs ever did, it would be the seventh sign for me. And you know what, it isn’t just about my Montreal roots, either.

I hate Toronto. The city. The state of mind. Hell, the Jays winning the World Series made me vomit (and funnily enough, not from the high volume of CH₃CH₂OH I consumed either). I truly hate the city. It is the anti-me. To wit:

Toronto is the home to the CN Tower. The world’s largest phallus. And every time I think of that erection, I’m reminded of Psychology 101 at Queen’s University. Men who play with long, hard things consistently are usually trying to compensate for their “lack of manhood”, of which all males from Toronto are seriously lacking.

Many anglophonic refugees from Quebec fled to Toronto in the height of the tyranny of one Rene Levesque. Bill 101 drove anglos from Montreal faster than Ex-Lax removes stool from the colon. But said ex-patriots of Quebec soon lost their love for the Habs, and in turn, joined the Borg and became Make Me Laugh fans. And I thought certain elements of Christianity were incredibly disturbing.

Torontonians make themselves to be top calibre hockey fans, when in fact they are just Make Me Laugh fans. And poor ones at that. They deliberately cheer teams that play against any Canadian team once they are ousted from the playoffs, but more disturbing, during the lockout, while the rest of the country showed unprecidented support for the CHL, Leaf fans whinged, moaned, whined, complained, and generally threw temper tantrums like a four year old because ‘hockey had gone’. What a bunch of gits.

Occasionally, my friends from the east inquire as to if I’d move back, to which I utter a resounding HELL FUCKING NO! I hate Toronto. Well, now it seems, I’m not the only one vocal about it. There is a documentary now outlining the hatred for all things T Dot. And, not at all surprising, the city that hates Toronto the most is our dear, wonderful Vancouver. There is no wonder why I feel like this is really my home. And the sweet irony of this all is the film is making it’s premier at the Hot Docs film festival, in Toronto.

I love it when karma is a bitch.

That is all.

Those money grubbing bastards can all go to hell.

Though I’ve posted the brilliant Jim Broadbent video already, I feel the need to spread my hatred of all things Manchester United. An injury time 1-0 victory over Liverpool at Anfield. Bahh! As such, this is the next closest I’ve found:

Die Man U die!

That is all.

The big football game this weekend…

… really was disappointing. Not that I saw it (not having cable hooked up has that effect). It wasn’t even that high scoring.

Well, it wasn’t high scoring at all.

In fact, there was no score in the game at all. But alas, who these days has the bollocks to get up at 4AM to watch a football match anyway.

Needless to say, Liverpool and Everton drew 0-0. Not even this guy

could put the ball in the net. Meh.

In related news, a bunch of steroid-using Americans played their championship of their own ‘brand’ of football, which is really just a pussified version of rugby (because the ladies who play have to wear armour). Didn’t even register as a blip on my radar. It might if the NFL actually decides to call their game soccer.

That is all.

What a strange year it has been

I was meaning to make this post yesterday, and have been meaning to post more, but sitting here with perennial dial-up, waiting longer than necessary for my high speed modem to arrive, it is very de-motivating in the efforts to actually string a few words, sentences, and paragraphs together. And our power outages haven’t helped any. Not that we had one in our home, just that they make commutes unbearable. For the modem, it turns out Uniserve was less than honest with me about the details of my service, and they want me to fax an unsolicited voided cheque to them before they deliver my modem. Well, I have three words for Uniserve:

FUCK THAT OFF!

As such, my favourite telecom company, Telus, will now be my phone and mobile company, internet, and television provider. Nothing like reducing the number of bills in the house.

Well, anyway, rant over. Well, that rant is over. It seems, according to Time Magazine, I am the 2006 Person of the Year. And so are you. And so is anyone else who can read this it would seem. And Bush once again does not get the nod. Not only can he not use this technology, it is still above his cognitive abilities to read or write.

In Canada, politically anyhow, the Conservatives finally edged the Liberals and formed a minority government. They gave generous tax cuts to the rich, reduced the GST, and strengthened the military. Sadly, they said fuck you to the Kyoto Accord, raised taxes for the lowest income bracket, lied to Canadians and started taxing income trusts, tried and failed to open up the same-sex marriage debate in hopes to recriminalize it, and giving Quebec more fuel to their fire of seperating from Canada, just to name a few anti-Canadian gaffes by the douchebag, Mr. Stephen “I LIKE young boys” Harper. And you know, if I lived in the US and made a similar disparaging remark against the Fuhrer Dubya, I’m sure I’d be arrested by the FBI by now and enduring days, or perhaps months of sheer interrogation. Thankfully, I live in the country that has the most personal freedoms on earth. Canada.

The worst mistake I made this year was working for Best Buy, aka electronics retail hell. While it may be a worthwhile job for a student going through school, to earn a little extra money, it was by absolutely NO means a reasonable way to make a living. It did however, open my eyes to the vicious reality of the business world in the 21^st century. And that reality? Companies nowadays are nothing more than legalized slavery and prostitution rings, that show little to no interest in the welfare of their employees. Ten years ago I’d never thought I’d say this, but I am very grateful for the existance of unions. It is the one body, at least here, that will actually look out for employee interests.

The Canucks? We had a shot of making some playoff noise last season, fucked it up, and now are on the 14 year rebuilding plan. I just hope we can develop before Luongo’s contract is up and he heads elsewhere.

Liverpool? We won the FA cup, and started the new season like always… losing enough matches so we have to fight for third in the Premiership. Again. Grrr.

As for the film world, work was slow this year. Really slow. Though hopefully, this winter and spring, I can work towards a few goals. One, actually direct and shoot SOMETHING, whether it be documentary or a short film. I intend to stay focused on writing, as I have an idea for a television series on the go also. I also intend to finally, FINALLY get my Mac, as so that I can pursue my true non-directorial film pursuit. Editing.

Finally, I would like to thank Dawn, Mom and Dad, Aunt Jan, Jana, Sherry, Dawn’s parents, Claudia, and Angel for their birthday wishes. Though I have to say I hate getting old. I know, I do keep young at heart, but your joints tend to put up a hell of an argument to the thinking young concept.

That is all.

The week that was

First off, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but whoopie for dial-up. As both Telus and Primus have techical concerns for high-speed in my neighbourhood, I found a service that will provide me high speed, and give me free dial up until my new ADSL modem arrives. No more 1 hour trips to the library.

With all that is happening in this neck of the world, what has happened outside of my world, anyway?

Liverpool FC went from 9th in the Premiership to tied for 3rd, and drew Arsenal in the next round of the FA cup (yay, then ugghh).

The Toronto Make Me Laughs have lost every single game they have played since my last real post (on 25 November, 2006). They are nearly sliding out of a playoff spot. YAYAYAYAYAY! Mort Leaf Mort!

Montreal, in the same span have gone 2-2-0. They sit 4th in the east.

Vancouver has gone 2-2-0 also. Vancouver is currently 9th. Trade rumours are afoot in this city, with talk of trying to re-acquire Anson Carter. I have a thought to make the ‘Nucks better. Fire Nonis and Vigneault.

Roddy Piper has been diagnosed with cancer.

Dawn and I finally have our little furball cat, Tara home.

We actually had snow in the lower mainland. And true to my uncle’s word, it nearly shut down the whole region. I must say it makes me sad as a Canadian to see an urban area succumb to snow like this. But alas, when a dumping like the one we received last week hits but once a decade, the need for snow removal infrastructure is not a high priority.

But, as for being proud to be Canadian, the Liberal party have elected a new leader, who soon will become our next Prime Minister. Say hello to Stéphane Dion. He is a francophone Québecer, supports a Canada that includes Québec, and wants to augment the standard Liberal stance of fiscal responsibility and social justice with a third pillar of environmental responsibility. He has gone on record, saying that current Environment Minister Rona Ambrose has single handedly turned Canada from environmental hero to zero. But it’s not REALLY Rona’s fault. The environment is not one of Harper’s five priorities of re-criminalizing same-sex marriage, going against his word and taxing income trusts, giving single moms an $18,000 per annum pay cut, cutting the income tax for the rich while raising the base rate for the poor (along with a 1% reduction in GST), and of course, creating legislation so that Conservatives can hold Liberals accountable fiscally when the Conservatives do NOT hold office.

Yup, all the signs point to it, a Liberal majority government. I would like to say it’s a refreshing change, but alas, it’s par for the course here. While our differently brained neighbours fear Liberals like the plague, the opposite is quite true up here in the Great White North. In my near 34 years (yikeys I’m not liking getting older), we have had only one Conservative Leader, Power Chin aka Brian Mulroney, who had a government last longer than one year (9 years). Trudeau, Cretien, and Martin were the Liberals in the same time span to accomplish the same feat (7 and 4 years, based on being born in the middle of a Trudeau term, 10 years, and 2 years). I just wonder. Can Harper last out the one year mark? Not that it truly matters, as opinion now swings back in the red’s favour. It’s only time before Dion is referred to as Mr. Prime Minister.

That is all.

YouTube Finds Episode I - Lay off the Doobie

Of course, these to me really aren’t new finds, but rather, various videos I have run across in the last few years that have finally made their way onto YouTube.

FAMILY GUY

Simply put, the best sitcom EVER. Best show from the USA with the exception of Battlestar Galactica (yup, the ONLY remake I like these days). I remember running across this back in film school:

Though in searching for it, I found this which seems to be an unedited original:

My poor mother. I really could have seen myself as Stewie as a child.

IT’S BEEN TWENTY YEARS

And yet this still gives me mirth:

CANADIANA

The Stephen Harper Way:

How to roll a joint, from Pierre Berton:

FOOTBALL

Simply the best.

That is all.

It’s getting to be that time of year

Sadly, this post starts with a confession. I didn’t even keep myself in the loop as to when the NHL pre-season and season was to start. It wasn’t until my dear friend Peter left a comment to my Mac Stress post, that it became painfully clear. Pre-season NHL games are now being played. Until then, I’ll be honest, it wasn’t even a concern. I had football to look forward to (even though the Reds are shocking, as per usual in the start of a season), and the Yankees (yes this pro-Canadian is a Yankees fan… deal with it) now have clinched the AL East yet again, I had adequate distraction from the pain we all feel here in Vancouver.

THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS ARE COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING SHIT. This time last year, I was full of hope (with my bollocks firmly in my hands), as the Canucks showed a lot of promise to be a major factor in not only the season, but also the playoffs. To make a long story short, Vancouver got very complacent and missed the post-season. We knew changes were to be made. Crawford got the axe. Not a shock there. Then this trade happened.

Canucks Acquire Roberto Luongo, Lukas Krajicek & Sixth Round Pick In 2006 Draft From Florida In Exchange For Allen, Auld & Bertuzzi. Now to be fair, I do like the prospect of having Luongo, who has played for Canada in the last olympics, between the pipes for the ‘Nucks. And though I’m sad to see Bert go, I do understand that something has to be given up to accquire another. Keenan isn’t that daft to let Luongo go like the Habs let Roy go for nothing. And the loss of Auld was expected, as usually in goalie trades, netminders do go both ways (but not in *THAT* way).

But with both of them going, why, WHY did we have to get rid of Bryan Allen. Jovo’s contract was up, and with his signing in Phoenix, I think it was fair to say Nonis (read pond scum) knew he was gone. So why get rid of Allen? It wasn’t to make cap room, as we couldn’t even re-sign Anson Carter. It seems that to solve the problem in net, Vancouver gave up most of their offensive firepower and a good percentage of their defensive reserves in the process. Goalies historically have carried teams to the Stanley Cup, but now the Canucks need Luongo to carry them to the playoffs.

Newpapers, bloggers, forum posters and the like have referred to this process as “replacing the 2004-5 Canucks with a host of warm bodies”. Who is Tyler Bouck? Or Rick Rypien? Or Rory Fitzpatrick? These are the replacements for the Bertuzzi’s, Jovo’s, Allens, and Carter’s of the Canucks. I think we’re in trouble this season.

As a final note, several newspaper publications ran an article making this point. Dave Nonis should be given the key to the city, for single handedly ensuring that there will be no Stanley Cup riots in the streets for the next five years. Personally, I want his head on a stick.

That is all.

Ahh, the sheer joys of getting up at 5:30 AM on a Sunday

Yes, the football season is back in full swing. Only two matches in for the Reds (and three for most of the Premiership), and we’re sitting at 4 points. Grrr @ Sheffield United. How could we let those wankers score anyway?

But I’m rambling. I missed the Liverpool vs. West Ham match this Saturday. Not for getting up too late (it’s one of the few drawbacks of living on the west coast… the 8 hour time difference), but rather Sportsnet Pacific decided that Tottenham vs. Everton (to which Everton won 2-0). Well, it was a team from Merseyside, but fuck, it was the wrong one.

As such, it looks like my first look at the Reds retro jerseys could very well be on Sunday, 17 September 2006, when the Reds march into Stamford Bridge to face Chelsea. I have high hopes, as on Dawn’s birthday, Middlesborough bested Chelsea 2-1. Guess it’s looking like Steven Gerrard really is the world class midfielder, whereas Frank Lampard is a second rate hack.

That is all.