I’ve actually gotten to the point where I’m considering taking the h1n1 virus vaccination. I usually stay clear of the flu shot, as I have very heavy contact with the public these days. Maybe I’m paranoid. Still I don’t want to get to this point:
Hat tip: Todd (for the photo, not for possibly contracting swine flu. I haven’t. Really).
X-Posted at jeffvickers.wordpress.com
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Hat tip to Todd. Less than filler tomorrow.
Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2009
10. Life is sexually transmitted.
9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a Slinky… not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
2. In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..
1. Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers, what you do today might burn your tush tomorrow.
x-posted at http://jeffvickers.wordpress.com
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John Madden has decided to call it quits today as a broadcaster, drawing to a close forty years in football, as both a coach and a broadcaster. Though I didn’t always agree with his viewpoint, there has to be something to be said about his longevity and popularity.
What I do have to ask is this. Who now will be able to point out the exceedingly obvious with such panache?
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Watchmen looks at the world through the literary lens of what if. What if America won Vietnam because of a super-human. What if Tricky Dick was elected to many consecutive Presidential terms? What would humanity do on the verge of global thermonuclear war? What if costumed vigilantes were outlawed?
Now, the most pressing concern: what if the Watchmen were really the kids from Peanuts? Inspired by the following artwork I found on the web:
Let’s to back to the forties. Linus van Pelt, operating as a morally corrupt Comedian, rapes his mother, the original Silk Spectre, and fathers his sister Lucy, who becomes the second Silk Spectre. Even back then, incest IS a game the whole family can play.
Fast forward to the sixties. Charlie Brown gets disintegrated accidentally in an experiment. His last words would have been ‘Good Grief’ had his consciousness not survived and become a glowing blue person who has a strong propensity for nudism. Later that decade, Charlie Brown and Linus decimate the Viet-Cong on about a month, as Linus burns many to death with a flamethrower while Charlie Brown grows to several hundred feet tall and blows up enemy soldiers by the thousands. Charlie Brown begins to lose touch with humanity when he lets Linus kill a woman he raped.
Back in America, Schroeder becomes very intelligent and wants to save mankind. Pig Pen starts to think he’s a Night Owl. An Charlie Brown changes Snoopy’s spots to move in a kind of kinetic Rorschach. All just in time to become outlawed.
Charlie Brown and Linus continue as government agents. Charlie Brown also starts sleeping with his best friend’s sister/daughter. This makes Luke and Leia’s kiss in Empire look like nothing.
Snoopy becomes a criminal outlaw who ironically supports the Republicans.
Schroeder sells out his costumed self and makes a fortune marketing the past as there is no further need for classical Beethoven pianists.
Pig Pen becomes a drunk with no purpose. Of course, Linus’ satirical view of the American dream decimates Pig Pen, who refuses to follow Linus into a pumpkin patch to find (and subsequently murder) the Great Pumpkin.
Part II to follow soon.
The Dude: Fuckin’ Quintana… that creep can roll, man.
Walter Sobchak: Yeah, but he’s a pervert, Dude.
The Dude: Yeah.
Walter Sobchak: No, he’s a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude: Oh!
Walter Sobchak: When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.
Donny: What’s a… pederast, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.
Nobody fucks with the Jesus. Well, except that fictional eight year old alluded to in The Big Lebowski. But this is not Jesus’s nor the eight year old’s story.
It’s mine.
You know, there’s something to be said about not working in your field of choice. And that employment path is not by choice, but by necessity. And with the current economic climate, real, tangiable alternatives to my current employer are few and far between. But they are there, and hopefully a change is in the works for me very shortly.
As film work is my field of choice, and understanding the nature of the beast of my career path of choice, one can very easily see my disdain for corporate America. I really do wish there were more companies out there that were progressive, that worked both to do well today AND in the future, not mortgaging the future just to show black on the balance sheet today. To run a business in the opposite fashion Pat Quinn ran a hockey team which he was the General Manager would be a reasonable analogy for this. Quinn’s a good coach, but a shitty GM.
Well, work has gotten worse and worse lately. It seems my ‘resolution’ to post daily (or near daily) has fallen by the wayside. The management dictum at work is increasingly dehumanising, and it’s taking a toll both on me personally (high stress levels and higher risk of migraines), as well as physically (as it is becoming more painful to walk, as the physical nature of my work is taking it’s toll on my already damaged knees). I can only hold onto hope that my overall career path will turn the corner, as currently my condition of employment has been all but verified by the powers that be as one of a dead end job. Hope can only hold for so long through a long phase of erosion. Never fear though, faithful reader. Hope still exists, and a practicum is following.
As for my sanity, I am further thankful I recently purchased an iPhone. Not only is it a phone. And text messaging. iPod. Mobile internet. Day planner. Contact book. Road Map. Camera and photo album. Scientific Calculator. Notepad. Clock.
It’s also a portable Wii. I shit you not. I’m sure we’ve seen those ads for iPhone/iPod touch where there are games controlled by wobbling the iPhone. Well, a few nights ago, I trumped the light sabre application. I downloaded iBowl. You actually swing the phone like you would roll a 10-pin bowling ball. Fuck me running. I’ve become instantly addicted to iBowl. Further more, I have some moderate form of stress relief. To make it perfect, I just need two things. A white russian (can someone get me Jay Janower’s number already), and a child rapist named Jesus so I can consistently kick his ass.
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Just a thought. Why won’t the NHL let Hamilton have a team?
Because Toronto will get jealous and want one too.
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Welcome to Toronto…
Home of the Leafs, and birthplace of Osama bin Laden AND his twin brother Jason Blake. Is there any wonder Mats Sundin wanted to leave?
Go Canucks Go!
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Welcome to Toronto…
The WORST place on Earth.
Go Canucks Go!
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Much like Jim Rome’s Triple U sponsor of the day, I have seen far too much hypocrisy combined with stupidity as of late. Whatever happened to the good ol’ days? People used to give a shit. People were engaged. Somewhere in the last twenty years, at least in a social and intellectual aspect, humanity has taken a quantum leap in reverse.
As such, I give you something that may develop into a weekly feature. That Guy Tuesday. On Wednesday. Yeah, but I’m a day late on everything this week. Meh.
I had a few choices this week, but this takes the cake. And in all due respect, I have seen this twice. I give you:
Hospital Doctors who use mobile phones on site when there is loads of signage indicating that all mobile phones should be shut off in all areas of the hospital.
This really is self explainatory. Fair enough, there is an argument that of isn’t so detrimental. Still, hospitals male such a point of it, there has to be some reasoning to the ongoing request. You would think the idea of ‘Lead By Example’ would be the first step to discourage mobile phone use.
Though since University, I have learned, Microbiology, Pharmacology, and Life Sciences notwithstanding, medical professionals are the dumbest people on Earth. May the Gods have mercy on our souls.
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iPhone, oh dear sweet iPhone. Where have you been all of my life? Of course, there are much more important things. Star Wars. Battlestar Galactica. Watchmen.
[SMACK]
Oh. Yeah. That. Family and friends. Can’t forget about them. A working version of Tiger would help too.
All kidding aside, this phone literally kicks major ass. Facebook, YouTube, email, games, it just goes on and on and on (and so forth). Frak me, I’m posting this from my iPhone. Then I found something. Something that makes me the God of all geeks.
I have an application that turns this technological miracle into yet another. My iPhone is now a faux Lightsaber.
Boo waaah!!!!!!!!
Our poor cats Tara and Adina don’t know what to make of it. Meh.
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