Reasons I don’t need a Wii, a Pederast named Jesus, and other thoughts…

The Dude: Fuckin’ Quintana… that creep can roll, man.
Walter Sobchak: Yeah, but he’s a pervert, Dude.
The Dude: Yeah.
Walter Sobchak: No, he’s a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude: Oh!
Walter Sobchak: When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.
Donny: What’s a… pederast, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Nobody fucks with the Jesus. Well, except that fictional eight year old alluded to in The Big Lebowski. But this is not Jesus’s nor the eight year old’s story.

It’s mine.

You know, there’s something to be said about not working in your field of choice. And that employment path is not by choice, but by necessity. And with the current economic climate, real, tangiable alternatives to my current employer are few and far between. But they are there, and hopefully a change is in the works for me very shortly.

As film work is my field of choice, and understanding the nature of the beast of my career path of choice, one can very easily see my disdain for corporate America. I really do wish there were more companies out there that were progressive, that worked both to do well today AND in the future, not mortgaging the future just to show black on the balance sheet today. To run a business in the opposite fashion Pat Quinn ran a hockey team which he was the General Manager would be a reasonable analogy for this. Quinn’s a good coach, but a shitty GM.

Well, work has gotten worse and worse lately. It seems my ‘resolution’ to post daily (or near daily) has fallen by the wayside. The management dictum at work is increasingly dehumanising, and it’s taking a toll both on me personally (high stress levels and higher risk of migraines), as well as physically (as it is becoming more painful to walk, as the physical nature of my work is taking it’s toll on my already damaged knees). I can only hold onto hope that my overall career path will turn the corner, as currently my condition of employment has been all but verified by the powers that be as one of a dead end job. Hope can only hold for so long through a long phase of erosion. Never fear though, faithful reader. Hope still exists, and a practicum is following.

As for my sanity, I am further thankful I recently purchased an iPhone. Not only is it a phone. And text messaging. iPod. Mobile internet. Day planner. Contact book. Road Map. Camera and photo album. Scientific Calculator. Notepad. Clock.

It’s also a portable Wii. I shit you not. I’m sure we’ve seen those ads for iPhone/iPod touch where there are games controlled by wobbling the iPhone. Well, a few nights ago, I trumped the light sabre application. I downloaded iBowl. You actually swing the phone like you would roll a 10-pin bowling ball. Fuck me running. I’ve become instantly addicted to iBowl. Further more, I have some moderate form of stress relief. To make it perfect, I just need two things. A white russian (can someone get me Jay Janower’s number already), and a child rapist named Jesus so I can consistently kick his ass.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Months o­n the run, and what do we have to show for it? Casualties. Deteriorating conditions. This crew needs a rest. It’s finally hitting them, that’s all. Our old lives are gone. The o­nly thing we have to look forward to is this. Introspection part IV.

After making the trek from Onterrible to Vancouver, film work for me was at a high. Fuck me, look at my credits list found here. Most of those came from 2005. Once that winter hit, it was like a Cylon nuclear attack wiping out all but a few of us. Though film work still existed intermittently and the ‘day job’ has now improved from ’survivable’ to ‘livable’, things are still very tight and very tough. Dawn and I would fight very intensely, very consistently, mostly over the lack of resources.

More directly put, we were living to work. Something had to change. Slugging it out at work just to be irritable towards your loved ones because ends are just barely meeting and expendable cash was near nil was all we had to look forward to. That something to change had to be me. The system, the establishment, seemed quite content to and indifferent to my suffering. It was frighteningly accurate to Homer Simpson’s take on life:

‘Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you wake up one day and just wish Flanders was dead.’

That mirror had a way of showing me something. Galactica, like my life, is about hope when all has vanished. Fate is just not a factor in my existence. I must create new hope out of nothing. And it’s not just art. It’s life. One must find meaning, purpose, hope, and spirit from within, not from outside.

And now, the final three aspects of positivity:

They know when to defend what they are doing
Well, I definitely know HOW to defend what I am doing. WHEN, on the other hand, is another issue. I tend to defend myself against all comers. Some of those fights, however, are redundant or pointless. Nothing will be gained. I must hold my confidence high, and realize when I need to fight and when I need to let things just roll off of me.

They are creative
Hells yeah. ‘Nuff said.

They are not afraid to be a little different in finding innovative solutions that will enable them to achieve their dreams
My entire life is about being different, being individual. I have no fear of the different, let alone much of any fear altogether.

Well, that seems to be about it. Starting tomorrow, the countdown to the beginning of the end.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Because it’s not enough to just live. You have to have something to live for. Introspection part III

I could go so far with that title, but I only have just so much bandwidth on this blahg. To put things in simple perspective, there’s a lot that both my old man and the Old Man have given me in the sense of pushing forward and purpose.

My father always stressed positivity. I for the longest time just never grasped the concept of smiling after eating a shit sandwich (though in earlier years I actually figured that was more literal than it was intended). After some more growing, I realized that being able to smile in the face of personal pain, social awkwardness, or adversity was the simplest way for us to stay grounded and focused. I would always let my anger and hatred consume me. You think there’s any reason I really connect to Star Wars at this point?

The fictional Old Man brings a great deal of context. Good art is like holding a mirror up to the world. And when I watch Battlestar Galactica, it’s like I’m stood front and centre in front of it. I’m a long way from home. Many of my loved ones have passed on. There are very few people close to me these days. resources are scarce at best. And so on..

I guess the point of this really is that one cannot just learn to deal with the adversity. One must have true direction and follow that path, and in the wake of a shattered dream, conjure one anew, and work towards it.

Now onto the third of the four part analysis:

They know who they are
Nowadays, yes. I am a highly intelligent socially awkward outcast. And I’m fully accepted of that. The truth is I don’t make a lot of friends. Maybe it’s good chunks of my childhood that will be with me forever, but I don’t make LOTS of friends. I make a few REALLY GOOD, CLOSE FRIENDS. The kind that have your back. The kind that wouldn’t make a move on your girl. The kind that aren’t afraid to tell you the truth even though it’s shit.

I do know WHO I am. Who I SHALL BECOME remains quite a mystery. But I feel that will be revealed. There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

They understand their weaknesses as well as their strong points
Now, very much so. In my younger days I definitely had a Superman syndrome, where I denied my weaknesses. For a long time, I denied my flaws, my weaknesses, my mortality. Since meeting Dawn, and her opening me up to my spiritual side, I am starting to see the great strength in the admission of my natural, imperfect nature.

They can accept and benefit from criticism
Occasionally. It really depends who the criticism comes from. A right stranger I will tell to go fuck themselves without any hesitation. My close friends I am somewhat accepting of their help. I do appreciate the honesty, but I can still be very bull headed in terms of making the change. I must let go of my anger, my hate…

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Tapping the Spenny to get to the Kenny part I

Based on my past history, one would think that I would pull for Spenny to beat Kenny in each of their ego-driven, testosterone induced competitions. Nothing could be further from the truth. I cheer, yell, scream, and use the Force^TM as Kenny lies, cheats, tortures, and ultimately crushes Spenny again and again and again.

Why though? For those who know me (or at least have some semblance of an idea about me), I grew up much more in the train of Spenny than Kenny. I was a geek. Nerd. Dork. High School Loser. The only thing I really could say about myself was that I had a big brain, could skate and play defense, baseball, and ski like hell. It was the latter three that kept me going through high school. I could go on, but I used certain physical skills to fit in, to be (in name only) another high school automaton. It reduced the torment. But something was wrong.

I wasn’t myself. It took me until well into university until I was comfortable in my own skin. Just over twenty years out of the womb to begin the path to self acceptance. Definitely more Spenny than Kenny. But still, why do I cheer Spenny? Frankly, nearing the ripe age of forty, Spencer Nolan Rice still hasn’t started. Watch the show. He repeats mantras obviously given to him by a therapist to keep him rational. I, on the other hand, have learned not to conform to society’s pre-set thoughts, opinions, and beliefs about the nature of existance and my place within it.

I am an individualist, who does have a great deal to offer the world. My morals, values and beliefs are a product of my experiences, not what some fictional doctrine or stuffy rich bastard wants me to think or feel to perpetuate an artificial air of control. Bah.

Still, to look at the positivity of my existence, and to continue my path of self discovery and invoking my inner Kenny, here is part one of four measuring how I stack up on the twelve qualities that positive thinkers typically share.

They have confidence in themselves
At the things I’m good at, I have absolute confidence. Skiing. Hockey. Baseball. Poker. Battlestar Galactica trivia. I truly believe I am the best at my strengths. My weaknesses are a much different thing. I find it difficult to work hard at things I suck at. Like video games that I can’t get the flow of. I’m sure Dawn’s thinking about Torino 2006 at this point. Though I’m good at keeping the razor’s edge sharp, to grow I know I must work at that which I struggle.

They have a very strong sense of purpose
So long as there is a purpose. The last two years, with film work lean and the day job wearing out, I have lost sense of my purpose. But my purpose transcends film. Being a right boffin, I can only hear these words in my mind on repeat. ‘I have a responsibility to use my gifts for a purpose much higher than personal gain.’ I also remember the words of one Joey DeVilla a few days back:

We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.

Somewhere in my future, teaching and sharing my knowledge and experience will be paramount.

They never have excuses for not doing something
I don’t. There are a good few things I tend not to finish, and I just blame myself. No one else. I really need to re-acquire the habit of following through 100% 100% of the time. Not 95% 95% of the time. I also need to get back into the habit of using a day planner daily. A co-worker said not too long ago something about aging. We do not lose our mental accuities or skills, we are just conscious of more distractions. I must discipline myself to maintain my razor focus on the tasks at hand.

Tomorrow, the next three.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Gods Love the Sheer Joy of the Interweb dot Georb…

Well, at least WordPress. I do love the feature of linking related articles within the WordPress blogosphere. Amongst other reasons, it’s just good to spark the creative process.

And with my current fascination with the number Twelve (sidenote: it’s a shame the Final Five are unnumbered… I wonder if the drunk bastard is Twelve), I ran across this post about positive thinking (something I have to become engaged in again).

As such, it outlines these twelve qualities that positive thinkers typically share:

* They have confidence in themselves
* They have a very strong sense of purpose
* They never have excuses for not doing something
* They always try their hardest for perfection
* They never consider the idea of failing
* They work extremely hard towards their goals
* They know who they are
* They understand their weaknesses as well as their strong points
* They can accept and benefit from criticism
* They know when to defend what they are doing
* They are creative
* They are not afraid to be a little different in finding innovative solutions that will enable them to achieve their dreams

- Susan Polis Schulz -

As such, the next twelve posts (which I have to do by this Sunday as I feel the need to re-cap Galactica in preparation for the end, I am going to do an individual post about each item, where I stand, and where I feel I need improvement.

All this starts tomorrow.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Changes

As those of you who at least semi-habitually read this tripe wonderful piece of electronic text, I’ve not said much. At all. For quite some time. As a result, I’ve spent some time over the holidays. Thinking. About a great many things in my life.

Two things recently have come up for me. First, I’m really not headed anywhere. Not in a desire sense, but rather in application. The day job really takes strips off of me, leaving me very wiped and unmotivated to do much else. I have become much of what I fought so hard to avoid. I’m living my life to work. I have to reverse that psychology. I must find it in myself to work so that I can live my life.

Secondly, the whole scope of my blog, at least in the sense of the initial intent (yup, you’ll have to scroll back three and a half years of my posts to be able to quantify this) was to poke fun. To take the piss. Lately, it’s just me being negative, whining, complaining, and shitting on everything and everyone that I just naturally don’t agree with. The posts with any humourous intents actually come out as angry rants.

For the latter, the title of this blog really is my first signpost that maybe, just MAYBE I might be holding on too much. Too much to the past, to when things were easier and simpler. Yes, the title of this blog is a off kilter homage to Canada’s Other National Newspaper, to which I wrote for highly infrequently when I went to school in the land of almost as much rain as Vancouver.

As such, a few things are going to be different.

1. I will post EVERY DAY from now on. And with all due respect, these posts will probably be more personal as I work through what I know I need to.

2. The title will change. I’ve changed blogs and hosts and the whole lot before, so before you prepare to change your bookmarks, I’m not changing the URL. Just for now the title will change.

Okay, maybe a .com name as well. I haven’t decided yet.

3. Most other rules of engagement will still apply. Though I’m personally at a crossroads, my core values really haven’t changed. Rules of engagement to commenting still will apply.

Well, as seeing the Mythbusters marathon is still on, I will bring more tomorrow.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

To…

To Goober, Casanova, Gooey, Rabbit, Bird, TC, Christine, Chilly Willy the Penguin, Grandpa Joe, Grandma Marg, Grandma Jessie, Curly, Putsy, Uncle Wayne, Fearless, Boo, Nat, Dustin, Uncle Howie, Little Brother, Jana, Todd, Mandy, Liza, Mom, Dad, and my babe Dawn.

Thank you. Thirty six years ago, a miracle happened. As such, today I live and breathe.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

No need for words…

90 years ago, the first World War drew to an end. No amount of time can keep any proud Canadian from remembering what we stood for with our allies in ALL wars we have (and will have) fought, past, present or future. To all those who gave their lives, thank you for the sacrifice for all of Canada…

Always proud to be Canadian…

That is all.

What gives more indigestion… Maple Leaf Meat products, or the Maple Leafs?

I think it’s fortuitous that I’m off this week. Ironic that it still took me over twenty four hours to pull my ass off of the sofa with a thought long enough to poke at some keys and make this post, but meh, I need the break from the physical grind of slavery otherwise known as work. Fortuitous in the sense that when I’m at work, for convenience sake, I have sandwiches with deli meat. Gods, when will they ever devise a microwave for a five-ton so I can reheat my meals dammit! Still, for us ‘deli meat’ eaters, we’ve had to deal with this. Mmmm. Sweet Listeria monocytogenes. Well, I can handle pasta all week. Even with crappy store bought sauce.

The initial plan was to be away. Then $1.50 per litre happened. Not really feasible with my not-so reliable car. Bah. And with a potentially very rainy week, the idiot box is the main source of entertainment. But in all reality, I hate television in the summer. Everything’s a repeat (not that the vast majority of programs are shit). And if it weren’t for the Olympics, the only sporting fare for most of the summer is Baseball. I used to be more passionate about Baseball. Now I just follow the standings until September, and then start watching, so long as it doesn’t interfere with anything else. But to watch a regular season game now is the equivalent for me to watching Darts or Competitive Snooker.

But we did have the Olympics. Just finished in time for it to NOT be on for the week off. Rather, in terms of the Olympics, I got to hear Jim Rome slam the Canadian Olympians for having an 0 for in the first week of Olympic competition. How we’re the embarassment of the G8 by being the only nation uncompetitive in the games. It was good to see the local personalities on Team 1040 comment back and stick up for the Great White North. Though with the call ins, the defense of our great nation turned into a dick fight about how to fix the problem.

And it’s the solutions the proletariat come up with that start to identify the problem. People will call in constantly and call for more money. We just need to pump more money into better facilities and the problem will just go away. And in that answer, the problem is inherent. We just don’t care. Put it in perspective. An Olympic champion just doesn’t all of a sudden wake up at age 18 and say ‘I want to be a 100m track champion.’ Those who succeed start young. Very young. Building a world class facility does not make up for that 13 year gap.

And to boot, let’s look at this. To be a runner, does one really need that world class facility? We have roads. We have tracks at schools. Weight machines all over. To be a swimmer, can’t we start in our local pools? Other athletics? Football? Diving? Cycling? Obviously what is missing here is passion and leadership, not facility. We need to give a shit about more than just hockey. Fuck me, do we ever care about hockey. The attitude is right there. Gold or bust. It is a slam against our national character if we can’t beat every other country at the game WE made. We need to care. We need a system that grooms athletes for other sports at an earlier age.

Still, having said that, we got 18 medals, finishing 19^th by Gold medal count, and tied for 14^th by overall medal count. As a whole, our best showing since 1996. And if you look at it this way, if we did as well in the first week of competition, we’d have shown 36 medals, for 8^th place overall in medal count. What was really funny though was Rome just happened to be on vacation the week Canada did well. Coincidence?

Still, all of this gave us something to talk about for two weeks. For the six weeks prior to it, all we heard was Sundin, Sundin, Sundin. Where will he go? The ‘Nucks offered $20 million for two seasons, which he balked at. Nearly two months later, and nothing. The latest rumour is that the New York Rangers are the front runner, though they can’t offer him even close to Vancouver’s money.

But the Rangers effectively lost Jagr to get Naslund. Gave up a two cup captain for a zero cup captain. If this is Mats’ team of choice, I wonder. Wonder if he’s going there to win a cup. Avery-less, I don’t see the Rangers doing much more than making the playoffs, as the roads will this year once again in the east probably will go through Montreal and Pittsburgh. Has Mats played for the Leafs long enough to suffer permanent brain damage?

Or have Canuck fans, some of whom still believe Mats is coming here, believe a Leaf will not only come here, but will take a mediocre at best Canucks squad and lead them to the promised land? Here’s a hint. No matter what Mats decides, come April ‘09, his hockey desires will take a back seat to hitting the links, whether or not his team of choice is in the post season.

Leaf Damage, or Maple Leaf listeriosis, you decide.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome

For those of you who read Dawn’s blahg, you may know she wrote this post about Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome, or PTLS in short. Having been through the procedure of tubal ligation herself, she has strong concerns around the conditions as a result. What has really been surprising is the amount of response this post has garnered. Over sixty comments and a first page Google hit really shows the strength of the concern regarding PTLS.

However, not many resources exist in regards to PTLS. Many in the medical community disregard PTLS as any form of a health risk , and what information exists is few and far between. In response, and seeing the strength a single post has generated, Dawn has set up this forum in order to spread the word about the health effects and variety of concerns and issues surrounding PTLS.

Please feel free to visit the forum, leave a comment, and write a post linking back to the forum so that we can spread the word and educating others about the effects involved with PTLS.

Regards