M.C.F.A.T. Episode XXIV – The Spin Doctors

Well, it’s just about over. Burkie finally signed with the worst team in the history of hockey. Full control in the self-perpetuated ‘center of the universe’. After telling a very obvious, bold-faced lie in the press conference stepping down from his post in Anaheim.

None of this is a shock at this point. Hockey fans everywhere saw that Burke was going to Toronto, adding another gong to the already insane gong show that is hockey in the biggest commercial hockey market in Canada. The sad part is when it’s all made official Saturday, it’s not the end.

It will just be the beginning. What a sad day for hockey, getting all that spin doctoring. So much for sports journalism ever being about the game on the ice anymore.

But, with spin doctoring and perception in mind, here’s the latest MCFAT:

1) Is it good or bad when sitcoms feature celebrity guest stars?

When I read this question the first time, the better question jumped in my head. Are there any good sitcoms out there anymore? As many of you already know, I really can’t stand the tripe the major US networks shove down our collective throats on a weekly basis. I guess I should have realized that television sitcoms are going the way of the dodo when I really started to get sick of the Simpsons about six years back.

About the only ’sitcom’ that works for me these days is really Family Guy. Period. Simply put, it is what The Simpsons dares not to be. So how does it stand when celebrity guest stars are on? Well, in the case of James Woods, brilliantly. Sadly, James must learn not to follow a candy trail down an alley and into a simple box trap. Git. As to other guest stars, it does seem that Seth McFarlane uses them with purpose, not JUST for a ratings grab.

The other shit that clutters the airwaves, however, seem to have no real creativity left in their premise or delivery. Celebrity guest stars, as a result, seem to be nothing more than a Paris Hilton-esque attempt to get mindless ratings during sweeps week. Still, based on all this tripe, the lowest common denominator mentality may actually improve the show. If I have some time I may do a comparative analysis at some point.

Maybe.

2) What is the most shocking thing you’ve seen on the internet?

Personal politics notwithstanding, it’s a toss up between this site and this site. In terms of all the fucked up, bizzare, vomit inducing images and viral videos out there, they start to lose their punch as we all have that friend who constantly emails all that sick shit all the time. Positively speaking, at least the onslaught builds up a heavy resistance.

Still, after even linking up that scum to my site, I need to cleanse. As such…

and this. The last game I got to see in the Montreal Forum:

Ahh. Now I feel better.

3) Is it possible to have too much free time?

Come on now. If there’s no such thing as a free lunch, how on earth can ANY time be free?

4) Inspired by a recent Dwight Shrute monologue, I ask you: what’s your perfect crime?

There can only be one perfect crime. Taunting those on the growing list of people who have not only pissed me off but have completely betrayed me, to harming me to such a degree that my murder of them can be justified as self defence.

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: What (animated) fictional town offers a whirlwind existence, race cars, lasers, airplanes, mystery-solving, time travel, and more?

Very simply put, the alternate 1985 New York City in which the former Crimebusters, of Watchmen fame are written to exist. Hell, anything is possible with the existence of Dr. Manhattan.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Twisted Filler Tuesdays v1.0

Needless to say, I haven’t had much to say lately. Well, on here. I seem to have a lot to say. It just lately tends to stay in rants out in ‘the real world’, and rarely makes it’s way to the absolutes of the digital realm. Meh. Today is one of those days. So, from now on (well, until I tire of it), Tuesdays will now be Twisted Filler Tuesdays. And, as such, a Meh-me, originally stolen from someone by Dawn. Her one main rule was NOT to copy her answers. Spoilsport. Well, on with it.

1. Name something you use in the shower?
Hmmm, well I can’t use shampoo, as Dawn took it already (cripes my hair is going to get disgusting), so I suppose soap, but the soap is useless unless there is water to emulsify the soap.

2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform?
Wow. How gender biased. What an assumption that women can’t play footy alongside men. But a player can wear shin pads under the socks of their uniform.

3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield.
A parking ticket. Unless I’m working. Then I don’t care. Work covers parking tickets for me while I’m on the clock. One of the very few perks.

4. Name something a man might buy before a date?
Petrol. Flowers were taken by Dawn.

5. What’s another word for blemish?
Well, when referring to the cereberally inert world, a blemish would have to be ‘better than a slap in the face’. Don’t believe me? Check this out.

6. Something you’d cook in the microwave?
Definitely not a cat. I’d never dream of it. However, someone did. That’s why there’s a warning in your microwave manual that you shouldn’t cook your pet in the microwave oven. However, popcorn is quite tasty.

7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving.
A Steinway Grand Piano.

8. Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman?
Actually, I have three. One, they are into Cougars. Two, they are into MILF’s. Three, they were involved in the CFOX Buck Hunt.

9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner.
I don’t know much about dogs, but CATS have this urge to sit on one’s privates.

10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for.
PHYS 114 (wait, that would explain my grade). Maybe and electrocardiogram?

11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for?
Scout badge embroidery?

12. Name a phrase with the word ‘Home’ in it?
You Can’t Go Home Again. Oh wait. That’s a Battlestar Galactica episode.

13. Name a sport where players lose teeth?
Well, since Dawn took hockey, I pick something from her side of the pond. Hurling.

14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student’s day?
Make the boy genius of the class the ‘Teacher’s Pet’ in a public announcement at recess.

15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying?
Tears running down their face? Duh.

16. Name something found under a car?
A pool of engine oil.

17. Name a bird you wouldn’t want to eat?
Any bird named Spears, Richie, Hilton, Lohan, and the like. And they say pigeons are swimming in disease.

18. Name something that gets folded?
Seven high in Texas Hold’em.

19. Name what happened to this question?
It was copied from Dawn’s blog, bolded, and answered.

20. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it?
[looks down his pants] well thankfully not that. A pencil, for sure though, does.

If you decide to steal this and do it, please link back.

That is all.

I know what I want for my birthday

Not that it’s coming up or anything…

But still, this works

As does this

I haven’t seen Battlestar Lego yet. I also hear nothin’ but the rain. Better go grab my gun and bring in the cat. Boom, boom, boom.

That is all.