M.C.F.A.T. Episode XXIV – The Spin Doctors

Well, it’s just about over. Burkie finally signed with the worst team in the history of hockey. Full control in the self-perpetuated ‘center of the universe’. After telling a very obvious, bold-faced lie in the press conference stepping down from his post in Anaheim.

None of this is a shock at this point. Hockey fans everywhere saw that Burke was going to Toronto, adding another gong to the already insane gong show that is hockey in the biggest commercial hockey market in Canada. The sad part is when it’s all made official Saturday, it’s not the end.

It will just be the beginning. What a sad day for hockey, getting all that spin doctoring. So much for sports journalism ever being about the game on the ice anymore.

But, with spin doctoring and perception in mind, here’s the latest MCFAT:

1) Is it good or bad when sitcoms feature celebrity guest stars?

When I read this question the first time, the better question jumped in my head. Are there any good sitcoms out there anymore? As many of you already know, I really can’t stand the tripe the major US networks shove down our collective throats on a weekly basis. I guess I should have realized that television sitcoms are going the way of the dodo when I really started to get sick of the Simpsons about six years back.

About the only ’sitcom’ that works for me these days is really Family Guy. Period. Simply put, it is what The Simpsons dares not to be. So how does it stand when celebrity guest stars are on? Well, in the case of James Woods, brilliantly. Sadly, James must learn not to follow a candy trail down an alley and into a simple box trap. Git. As to other guest stars, it does seem that Seth McFarlane uses them with purpose, not JUST for a ratings grab.

The other shit that clutters the airwaves, however, seem to have no real creativity left in their premise or delivery. Celebrity guest stars, as a result, seem to be nothing more than a Paris Hilton-esque attempt to get mindless ratings during sweeps week. Still, based on all this tripe, the lowest common denominator mentality may actually improve the show. If I have some time I may do a comparative analysis at some point.

Maybe.

2) What is the most shocking thing you’ve seen on the internet?

Personal politics notwithstanding, it’s a toss up between this site and this site. In terms of all the fucked up, bizzare, vomit inducing images and viral videos out there, they start to lose their punch as we all have that friend who constantly emails all that sick shit all the time. Positively speaking, at least the onslaught builds up a heavy resistance.

Still, after even linking up that scum to my site, I need to cleanse. As such…

and this. The last game I got to see in the Montreal Forum:

Ahh. Now I feel better.

3) Is it possible to have too much free time?

Come on now. If there’s no such thing as a free lunch, how on earth can ANY time be free?

4) Inspired by a recent Dwight Shrute monologue, I ask you: what’s your perfect crime?

There can only be one perfect crime. Taunting those on the growing list of people who have not only pissed me off but have completely betrayed me, to harming me to such a degree that my murder of them can be justified as self defence.

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: What (animated) fictional town offers a whirlwind existence, race cars, lasers, airplanes, mystery-solving, time travel, and more?

Very simply put, the alternate 1985 New York City in which the former Crimebusters, of Watchmen fame are written to exist. Hell, anything is possible with the existence of Dr. Manhattan.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Just one kick in the bollocks after another

Case in point. Today. And even aside from the fact I had to work at my ‘job’.

Take into consideration:

Liverpool lost to Chelsea in the Champions League semis.

UGGGHHHH (added insult to this… shit scum Man U. got through to the final).

Montreal went down 3-1 to the Broad Street Bullies.

UGGGHHHH

And just to make third time the charm, an until now, thought to be boxed model of chrome toaster (for conspiring to divide humanity) has now re-emerged, set to continue it’s traitorous ways. Where the fuck is an airlock when I need it?

However, there is a silver lining to the monsoon cloud hanging over me. Hint number one, there will soon be much less Fe in my life.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

P.S. Help my city grow.

P.P.S. Go to this radio station site and vote for my friend, Christine Todd.

How the electrical setup of my car put a puppet in management

You know, I did have a good vibe going into this week after posting that lovely photo on Sunday. In retrospect though, I wonder if anyone other than Dawn looked at it. Still, to my delight sheer horror, Monday morning my car wouldn’t start. Battery. But not just that. Positive electrode was eroded to the point it crumbled when I removed it. So, close to $200 in associated costs, and my car lives once more.

But it did take a physical toll. Transit to and from “work” is not entirely friendly. The SkyTrain gets me close, but no buses run close to “work”. As such, a shitty delightful 20 minute walk is required, at six something AM to “work”, and the same walk, this time uphill, after a physically punishing day. Needless to say, I’ve barely had the energy to sit behind my G4 to check and reply to emails, let alone blather on about the bollocks that is my life.

Though the commute gives me more time to listen to my not heavily used iPod, I do miss the first hour of Jeff O’Neil. Well, okay, Charis and Scotty, as they carry O’Neil’s overweight ass. Follow the previous link, click on Audio, and pull up WE BROUGHT NHL SMACK… ALL SEASON LONG just to get a taste of what I really like about the show. It’s a shame they didn’t have the best smack of all season on it (Ombudsben will get a kick out of this):

“Welcome to Minnesota. Home of the Wild, and home to 10,000 lakes, and 10,000 prostitutes. Most of whom are female. Right Wild coach Jacques Lemaire?”

You get the idea. I know, the ‘Nucks didn’t even make the dance, but alas, my East favourites, and original hometown Habs showed some grit tonight coming back to beat the Broad Street Bullies 4-3 in OT. Canada is definitely not out yet. And the Leafs continue to golf, and will they be retarded enough to wait another year before overpaying for Burke?

CFOX though, outside of the O’Neil show, has but two bright spots. Lana’s Indie Night in Canada and Neil Morrison’s Nineties at Noon definitely bring life to an over-produced, corporate, and bland view of Rock in the new millenium. As such, the afternoons are now progressing to sports radio to save me the headache of Billy No-Talent or Nickleback. [Watch me shudder at the thought] Which brings me to my ultimate point.

Nonis is out, and Mike Gillis is in. Fuck me running, it’s all I’ve heard all week long. It’s a mixed feel for any playoff games. With the Giants also out, hockey seems to have died. Maybe that’s a benefit of being an ex-patriot of Montreal, coupled with the Habs finally having a season we expect of them. Hockey’s still on the brain. But here, it’s next season, what’s Gillis going to do, should we re-sign Naslund, who should we trade, free agents… what will Gillis do.

About Mike, I do have two things to say. First, he gave a good press conference. Unlike many in this day, he didn’t hold back. He laid it out. The ‘Nucks need serious change, and they want to build around Luongo. DUH! Shame Nonis didn’t see the first part of that. Hey, maybe he’ll get hired by Burke if he signs in Toronto, so the two can be haunted by the ghost of Harold Ballard. And he had the bollocks to point out areas, most notably scouting and development, that needs a major overhaul. Good on you.

Secondly, and this is to the vast majority of gits in the Vancouver area who act like they know something about hockey but never laced up and can barely count past four,

IT WAS JUST A PRESS CONFERENCE. We won’t know what kind of GM Gillis will be for a couple of years yet.

Yes, the Vancouver faithful are already judging the inexperienced man on just a few words. Vancouver has been through rebuilds before. If history has taught us anything, we need to wait a few years to see if this new team that will develop will be a serious contender.

For me, I just hope that Gillis isn’t a puppet (I’ve seen a lot of that at “work”, and the smell reeks from GM Place to my home of the same), a figure to allow Aquilini to be the George Steinbrenner [of old] for Western Canadian hockey.

But only time will tell.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferreus six.

P.S. Help grow the population of my city, New Delphi.