Because it’s not enough to just live. You have to have something to live for. Introspection part III

I could go so far with that title, but I only have just so much bandwidth on this blahg. To put things in simple perspective, there’s a lot that both my old man and the Old Man have given me in the sense of pushing forward and purpose.

My father always stressed positivity. I for the longest time just never grasped the concept of smiling after eating a shit sandwich (though in earlier years I actually figured that was more literal than it was intended). After some more growing, I realized that being able to smile in the face of personal pain, social awkwardness, or adversity was the simplest way for us to stay grounded and focused. I would always let my anger and hatred consume me. You think there’s any reason I really connect to Star Wars at this point?

The fictional Old Man brings a great deal of context. Good art is like holding a mirror up to the world. And when I watch Battlestar Galactica, it’s like I’m stood front and centre in front of it. I’m a long way from home. Many of my loved ones have passed on. There are very few people close to me these days. resources are scarce at best. And so on..

I guess the point of this really is that one cannot just learn to deal with the adversity. One must have true direction and follow that path, and in the wake of a shattered dream, conjure one anew, and work towards it.

Now onto the third of the four part analysis:

They know who they are
Nowadays, yes. I am a highly intelligent socially awkward outcast. And I’m fully accepted of that. The truth is I don’t make a lot of friends. Maybe it’s good chunks of my childhood that will be with me forever, but I don’t make LOTS of friends. I make a few REALLY GOOD, CLOSE FRIENDS. The kind that have your back. The kind that wouldn’t make a move on your girl. The kind that aren’t afraid to tell you the truth even though it’s shit.

I do know WHO I am. Who I SHALL BECOME remains quite a mystery. But I feel that will be revealed. There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

They understand their weaknesses as well as their strong points
Now, very much so. In my younger days I definitely had a Superman syndrome, where I denied my weaknesses. For a long time, I denied my flaws, my weaknesses, my mortality. Since meeting Dawn, and her opening me up to my spiritual side, I am starting to see the great strength in the admission of my natural, imperfect nature.

They can accept and benefit from criticism
Occasionally. It really depends who the criticism comes from. A right stranger I will tell to go fuck themselves without any hesitation. My close friends I am somewhat accepting of their help. I do appreciate the honesty, but I can still be very bull headed in terms of making the change. I must let go of my anger, my hate…

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

I’ve been tagged… again…

Three guesses who…

Anyhow…

Accent: I have none. I really don’t. Somehow I’m on the losing end of this argument. Dawn (and the whole daft lot from the other side of the pond from the female persuation… at least those I know) seem to think I have a ’sexy’ Canadian accent. I hate the sound of my voice. Bah. Still, ironically, the lot at work notice a UK twang. Bizarre. Must be Dawn’s influence to get me to say aluminum aluminium. Luckily I’m not speaking in that Gods awful Yorkshire dialect.

Breakfast or No Breakfast: Coffee. Seven cups to get up, and four more for breakfast. Nothing solid. Reader’s discretion as to whether or not that constitutes breakfast.

Chore I don’t care for: All of them? Cat litter changing is on the top of my list.

Dog or Cat: Well, we have a slut and a demon posing as two felines. Other cats I have had include a dedicated hunter, an instrument of war, and a ball of neurosis. Only had one dog (at three… for one day). Cats definitely, they have way more personality.

Essential Electronics: Macintosh, iPod, mobile phone, Canon Digital Rebel XT, Sony Playstation 2.

Favorite Cologne: AXE Effect Essence (it really DOES work… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Gold or Silver: Gold is worth more, so Aurum.

Handbag I carry most often: My lunch bag. I’m a guy. I’m not meterosexual. Hence, no fashionable handbag.

Insomnia: Not lately. Work takes enough of the mickey outta me to keep me that wired.

Job Title: Officially… courier. Unofficially… peon/slave/fuel. Soon to be back to Electrician/Film Geek Extrodinaire.

Kids: Two piles of fluff that pass themselves off as cats named Tara and Adina. Nothing human though.

Living Arrangements: Barely. Low cost 1-bedroom apartment with Dawn, living 2 bridges away from work. Blech.

Most Admirable Trait: My intellect. I can think my way through (or out of) virtually anything.

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: Too many to think of just one. Pompous winner, sore loser, dirty hockey player, violent golfing temper, arrogance, obsessing about superiority, and so on.

Overnight hospital stays: Last one when I had my appendix removed (at age 11). 23 years ago. Even when I had my knee worked on it was same day. I’m hoping to avoid these for a long time.

Phobias: Falling from height, my own mortality, being normal, being average.

Quote: Since you tagged me babe, you frakking asked for this:

“The Cylon War is long over, yet we must not forget the reasons why so many sacrificed so much in the cause of freedom. The cost of wearing the uniform can be high, but…
[very long pause]… sometimes it’s too high. You know, when we fought the Cylons, we did it to save ourselves from extinction. But we never answered the question “Why?” Why are we as a people worth saving? We still commit murder because of greed and spite, jealousy, and we still visit all of our sins upon our children. We refuse to accept the responsibility for anything that we’ve done, like we did with the Cylons. We decided to play God, create life. And when that life turned against us, we comforted ourselves in the knowledge that it really wasn’t our fault, not really. You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you’ve created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can’t hide from the things that you’ve done anymore.”

Commander William Adama

Reason to smile: Dawn, film calls, Leaf losses, Man U. losses.

Siblings: None biologically, though a bro and a sis out there (you know who you are).

Time I wake up: 5:00 AM, right at the crack of stupid. Though I’ve been getting up at 4:00 AM lately, and can’t settle after.

Unusual Talent or Skill: Again too many to mention just one. Complex mental arithmetic. Three dimensional visualization. Ear wiggling. Ability to make my cats come to me when they are called. Deep and comprehensive trivial and factual memory.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: Broccoli, brussel sprouts, cauliflower, mushy peas.

Worst Habit: Cracking every bone in my body in front of Dawn.

X-rays: Too many. Last set was my chest to examine the effects of smoking (I was a smoker… three and a half years smoke free now) on my lungs. I wonder which causes more cancer… the smoke or the X-Ray?

Yummy Stuff: Oreo Blizzards, fresh Italian Pasta, an unburnt risotto.

Zoo Animal I Like Most: Kimodo Dragon.

As for tags, well, I just don’t do tags. I tend to tag the wrong people. If you do it, comment back to let me know you have.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Twisted Filler Tuesday – Return of the Meh-me

Found this over at Taj’s. Not so much of a meh-me as it’s open ended. Kind of. The premise is simple. Offer one quote that resonates with you. Without further adieu:

The Cylon War is long over, yet we must not forget the reasons why so many sacrificed so much in the cause of freedom. The cost of wearing the uniform can be high, but…
[very long pause]… sometimes it’s too high. You know, when we fought the Cylons, we did it to save ourselves from extinction. But we never answered the question “Why?” Why are we as a people worth saving? We still commit murder because of greed and spite, jealousy, and we still visit all of our sins upon our children. We refuse to accept the responsibility for anything that we’ve done, like we did with the Cylons. We decided to play God, create life. And when that life turned against us, we comforted ourselves in the knowledge that it really wasn’t our fault, not really. You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you’ve created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can’t hide from the things that you’ve done anymore.

Cmdr. William Adama, Battlestar Galactica Miniseries

Yes, yes, I’ve quoted this great line ad naseum on this blahg. Meh. Deal with it. It resonates with me. The quote sets the tone for the whole series, and the show is a virtual mirror to my life here in Vancouver. I see parallels with family, friends, the state of my life, political situations, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And the show stems from this speech, the one Adama never intended to give, initially.

As for tags, I refrain, but anyone who chooses to do this, please give a linkback.

Interdum vos ut volvo ferrus six.

Words from the old man

Well, this old man…

“The Cylon War is long over, yet we must not forget the reasons why so many sacrificed so much in the cause of freedom. The cost of wearing the uniform can be high, but… sometimes it’s too high.

You know, when we fought the Cylons, we did it to save ourselves from extinction. But we never answered the question ‘Why?’ Why are we as a people worth saving? We still commit murder because of greed and spite and jealousy, and we still visit all of our sins upon our children. We refuse to accept the responsibility for anything we’ve done, like we did with the Cylons. We decided to play God, create life. When that life turned against us, we comforted ourselves in the knowledge that it really wasn’t our fault, not really. You cannot play God and then wash your hands of the things that you’ve created.

Sooner or later, the day comes when you can’t hide from the things that you’ve done anymore.”

Frightening how much this show rings true for me…

That is all.

Latin phrase of the day 1.0

Interdum , tu volvo ferreus six.

Hope the grammar translates accurately enough though.

That is all.